Cricket is more than just a sport in several countries; it’s a way of life. Especially popular in nations like India, Australia, England, and Pakistan, cricket unites people across regions and cultures. Whether it’s a test match that lasts for days or a thrilling T20 game of IPL that gets resolved in a matter of hours, the excitement and passion for the game are palpable in stadiums and living rooms alike.
Cricket jokes are almost as ubiquitous as the sport itself, stemming from the game’s quirks, legendary rivalries, and unforgettable moments. From light-hearted banter between fans of opposing teams to jokes about specific players or incidents, cricket jokes serve as a fun extension of the gentleman’s game. They reinforce camaraderie among fans, provide comic relief during tense matches, and celebrate the idiosyncrasies that make cricket an enduring and beloved sport.
Best Cricket Jokes
Why do women drive their cars like they play cricket?
They hit and run.
The first testicular guard was used in Cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen during knockouts?
The walk back to the pavilion.
What’s the funniest break up line for cricket fans?
”You and me love, we’re like six balls in cricket. OVER!”
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ray.
(Ray who?)
Ray ‘n’ stopped play!
What is the greatest ashes rivalry of all time?
Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook.
Sachin to his wife at a romantic sunset point, “Aila! View!”
Anjali replies, “I love you too, honey!”
Who was the only father and two sons to play in the same test match?
Javed Miandad.
A couple had a long fight. Then the guy throws the girl a cricket ball.
Girl: What’s that mean?
He proceeds to throw five times more.
Girl: Seriously, what’s going on?
Guy: It’s over.
Don’t you think cricket is a weird game?
Once on TV, someone heard a commentator saying, “The batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willey.”
What do you get when you cross a bat and a man?
A ban. From the scientific community.
When should you apply for the job as Australia’s next cricket captain?
If you’ve been ball tampering for years and never got caught.
When Virat Kohli was a kid, his neighbor asked him, “Beta which channel do you watch?”
Kohli replied, “CNBC.”
The neighbor asked, “Aren’t you too young to watch business and finance related channels?”
Kohli’s mother interrupted, “He is saying Cartoon Network.”
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Why should China have a cricket team?
They can take out the whole world with one bat.
What does a cricket umpire say while practicing in front of the mirror?
“I’ll show myself out.”
Why is Kamran Akmal so healthy?
He never catches anything.
Why did the farmer become a cricket player?
Because he mastered the agricultural shot.
Why did the all-rounder bring a cricket bat and ball to the job interview?
Because no matter the position, he’s always the right fit.
There was a young cricketer named Heath,
While batting, was hit in the teeth,
He spat out a molar,
and said to the bowler,
“A little more care, if you pleath!”
Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket.
Have you ever played in a Star Wars-themed cricket match?
Every time the ball is delivered the Umpire struck back.
What animal is always at a game of cricket?
A bat.
Why don’t cricket umpires ever lose arguments at home?
Because they’ve heard every appeal, and they know when to say “how’s that?” not out!
A father-to-be was waiting anxiously outside the labor ward where his wife was delivering a baby.
A nurse came up to the man and said, “You have a girl, but there’s another one on the way, so come back soon.”
“Twins,” he thought, a little shakily. He went away and came back an hour later to be told that the second baby had been born, but there was still another on the way.
“Good grief,” he thought.
He went to the pub down the street, and after a beer, he phoned in and was told a fourth one was on the way. He started to drown his sorrows. A few stiff whiskies later he called the hospital again but was so drunk he dialed the wrong number – and got the recorded cricket score. Crying in agony, he collapsed on the floor, a poor, devastated, shuddering, and weeping mess.
As the barman struggled to pick him up, he heard the voice from the phone say, “The score is 88 all out. And the last one was a duck.”
If I’m holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really huge cricket.
Why are healthy relationships a lot like an exciting game of cricket?
It’s all about the boundaries.
What is the difference between a poor opening batsman and Cinderella?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
How can leg-spin bowlers get information on the internet?
They Googly it!
John was stopped by the police the other day. He was weaving the car a little oddly, so the officers asked him to blow into the tube. John passed them a piece of paper that said, “This man is asthmatic, please don’t ask him to blow something,” signed by a doctor.
So the police said, “Well, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to take a blood sample.” John passed on another paper that said, “This man is a hemophiliac, please don’t take any blood out of him.”
Just as the police said, “Well, in that case, a urine sample,” John gave them a final paper that said, “This man is an English cricketer, please don’t take a piss out of him.”
Who is the best cricket player?
Batman.
Why are cricket stadiums so cool?
Because every seat has a fan in it.
Why is having fun with a cricketer after a night out safe?
They always wear protection out in the middle!
A horse is in his field, watching a cricket match over the fence.
He calls out to the captain and asks if he could play as well. The skipper says, “Why not? Might be fun,” and gives the horse a bat as it walks onto the pitch for the opener.
The horse catches the first ball solidly for a six. He does the same for the second and third balls. Every ball that comes to him: Six! Six! Six! The over finally ends, and the horse’s partner, the captain, gets his chance to bat.
The bowler runs in from the other end, and the captain manages to only hit one. As he starts running for the other end, the horse just stands there.
The captain starts yelling, “Run!”
The players on the sidelines start yelling, “Run!”
Some of the spectators even start yelling, “Run!”
The horse looks up and says, “Run? Do me a favor! If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby!
Why don’t witches play cricket?
Because their Bats always fly away.
Why did the cricketer rush to the toilet?
He got the runs.
A cricketer visits the doctor after feeling strange following a club cricket game. The individual is unsure why he is feeling slightly round. He visits the doctor and asks, “Doctor, Doctor, I need your help, I think I am a cricket ball.”
The doctor confusingly replies, “How’s that?”
The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her.
At the crease, he turned to the wicketkeeper and said “I’m anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That’s my wife’s mother over there.”
“Don’t be silly,” said the wicketkeeper. “You’ll never hit her at 200 hundred yards.”
Why aren’t gay males allowed to play cricket?
Because ball tampering is against the rules.
Don’t you think that a bunch of the local cricket players have Tourette’s?
When the ball was in the air they started yelling, “cat shit!”
A group of 3 Pakistanis and a group of 3 Indians were all heading to the Cricket World Cup via train. Upon entering the train the Indian group saw the Pakistanis just pay for a single while they bought 3 individual tickets.
When the conductor came along the Indians saw that all 3 Pakistanis quickly filed into the bathroom. The conductor knocked on the door and asked for the ticket. A single hand came out and handed him the ticket. Observing this the Indians decided to try it on their return trip.
On the return trip, the Indians bought a single ticket and the same group of Pakistanis bought no ticket at all! When the conductor came along the 3 Pakistanis filed into one bathroom while the 3 Indians filed into another. Then one Pakistani came out of the bathroom knocked on the door of the Indians’ bathroom and asked, “Ticket please!”
What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Why should you avoid hitting the dance floor with a cricket player who can’t handle short deliveries?
Because he’s sure to have trouble with the bouncer.
Remember the 2010s English cricket team?
The thinnest guy is called Broad, the ugliest guy is called Swann, the slowest fielder is Trott, the guy who is ‘behind’ the stumps is called Prior, and the guy whose father’s name is John is called Peter-son. And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.
No doubt, this Cricket team deserved to be led by a Cook.
Why do deep fielders make such well mannered?
Because they always know how to stay within their boundaries.
Why were the cricket players skeptical of their Captain’s words?
Because he was known for having a silly point.
Four men at a bar discuss the most difficult sport to play.
The first man, wide as a dishwasher and having huge muscles all over, says, “I’m a football player, it’s the hardest sport in the world to play! You’ve gotta be in top physical condition and have excellent situational awareness.”
The second man, an older gentleman wearing a collared shirt, says “Sorry champ, but the actual hardest sport to play is golf. Every swing of the club is a calculated symphony of body mechanics; the mental fortitude you need is unreal!”
The third man, adorned in a gray peacoat, says “Gentleman, I have played in chess tournaments across 3 continents, and I can assure you that chess is the most difficult sport of all. You need to memorize and recall 30,000 moves before you can even face a college team!”
They all drink and then turn their attention to the fourth man who had baggy eyes and calloused fingers.
The football player says “What do you do?”
The man replies, “Well I’m a cricket player.”
“I’m sure you think cricket is the hardest thing to play then?”
Man says, “You bet your ass it is, you know how hard it is to get those things to chirp on key?”
What is a batsman’s least favorite bird?
Duck.
Why did the cricket team recruit a small ghost?
Because they needed a little extra spirit!
A kid got detention for misbehaving in P.E. The P.E. teacher told him he had to write an essay in the form of a report about a cricket match and he couldn’t leave until he’d finished it.
Less than 5 minutes later the kid handed the essay to the bemused teacher and left detention.
The essay simply said, “Rain stopped play.”
Why was Robin unable to play cricket?
Because he lost his bat, man.
Did you hear that the Zimbabwe Cricket Board announced that they found ebola in their cricket team?
But it’s no concern as they also found batsman and field.
Story of a married couple in cricket terms.
He argued, she argued. He shouted, she shouted and then she cried.
Result: She won by the Duckworth Lewis method.
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A man is playing in his cricket league’s final and is just about to bowl when he notices a funeral procession walking past.
He immediately stops, takes off his cap, and bows his head until they pass.
“That was real sportsmanship you showed there.” the Umpire tells him at the end of the match.
“Well it was the least I could do,” replies the man. “It was my wife’s funeral.”
What is Hitler’s favorite cricket game?
The Ashes.
Why is the sport of cricket called cricket?
Because it’s boring.
How does a cricketer bust a nut?
Through a masterstroke.
What is the difference between a cricket player and a condom?
One drops a catch and other catches the drop.
Do you have a funny cricket joke? Write down your own cricket puns in the comment section below!
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl.
I said I didn’t even know he could play cricket.