Rain has a habit of making everything wet, including our sense of humor. For adults, a rainy day isn’t just about umbrellas and puddles; it’s about getting stuck indoors with wild thoughts and no filters. That’s exactly where Dirty Rain Jokes come pouring in. They’re not for weather forecasts but for forecasted giggles that come with a hint of naughtiness.
So there we were, watching the rain slide down the window, when someone said something so wrong about wetness, we couldn’t stop laughing. That’s how Dirty Rain Jokes start, innocent storms that turn into thunderous chuckles. Blame the weather, blame the mood, but once those jokes start falling, nobody stays dry.
Adult Rain Jokes
What’s worse than raining cats & dogs?
Hailing taxis.
How is rain similar to a v*gina?
When it’s wet, It’s time to go inside.
Cotton Farmer: Thank god, finally, some rain.
Cotton Candy Farmer: [running toward his fields] Oh sh*t!!! Oh f*ck no no no no no!
Yo mama so fat, her shadow is dry when it rains.
What kind of storm is it when “It’s Raining Men?”
A malestrom.
How do lightning bolts flirt?
They electrocute each other.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary bl*w job!
Three dinosaurs come across a magical lamp.
The first dinosaur rubs it, and a genie appears.
“I have three wishes. One for each of you,” the genie says.
The first dinosaur doesn’t hesitate before his request: “All right, I’ll have a big, juicy piece of meat.” Immediately, a big, juicy piece of meat appears in front of him.
Instantly envious, the second dinosaur speaks up. “Well, I want a shower of meat!” As soon as he utters his wish, a shower of meat rains down upon him.
The third dinosaur, not to be outdone, has to think for a second about what could possibly be better than a shower of meat.
“Aha, I’ve got it!” he proclaims. “I’ll have a meatier shower!”
Recommended: Rain Jokes
Why does it always seem to rain on Valentine’s Day?
So the boys are as wet as everyone else, come evening.
Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in the rain.
My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.
Last night, for example, I couldn’t fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go f*ck myself.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
When it began to rain, two nurses were smoking.
The first nurse out a condom slices off the end, and slides it over her cigarette, continuing to smoke.
The second nurse notes that it keeps the first nurse’s cigarette dry and inquires, “Where’d you get it?”
“From the pharmacy,” the first nurse said.
So the second nurse goes down to the pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms from the clerk.
“What size do you require?” inquired the clerk.
The nurse replied, “Large enough to fit a Camel.”
“Give it to me!” she screamed, “I’m so f*cking wet, give it to me now!”
She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.
Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains?
Because the sun just came out.
Yo mama so fat, when it rains her feet don’t get wet.
What happens to people who have a rain fetish?
It gets them really wet.
In rainy weather, a grandfather and his young grandson went for a walk. They come across an earthworm that has just crept out of its hole on the ground.
“I’ll give you $10 if you can figure out how to get that worm back in its hole.”
After a brief moment of thought, the child tells his grandfather that he will return shortly.
He returns a few minutes later with a can of hair spray, stretches the worm out nice and straight, and then plinks him straight down the hole he came out of.
The grandfather is blown away!
“You’re a bright kid!” I’ll pay you your money the next day.”
The following morning, the grandkid arrives for breakfast to find $50 cash beneath his plate.
“But Grandpa, the bet was only $10!”
“I understand… the rest comes from your grandmother.”
Recommended: Rain Memes
How do you communicate with a blind person in the rain?
You use an um-Braille.
Never date a weatherman.
They always lie about the number of inches(snow or rain) you’ll be getting.
Why was the blonde standing outside the department store in the rain?
She was waiting to cash her rain check!
A man saw a dwarf waiting for a bus in the rain.
“Jump in,” Jamie said, “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“F*ck off!” he yelled back.
Jamie thought to himself, ‘What an ungrateful bastard,’ as he zipped up his backpack and continued walking.
What’s the worst part about being short?
You’re the last one to know when it rains.
I entered a rain dance competition but didn’t win.
All I got was a precipitation ribbon.
Why do Native Americans make the best strippers?
Because every time they dance they make it rain.
While her husband was at work, the wife was having an affair.
She was in bed with her boyfriend one wet and lustful day when she heard her husband’s car arrive in the driveway. “Oh my God! Please hurry!” Gather your belongings and hop out the window. “My husband has arrived home early!”
“I can’t jump out the window since it’s raining outside!”
“If my husband finds us here, he’ll kill us both!” she exclaimed. He’s a hothead with a rifle, so the rain is the least of your worries!”
So the lover leaps from bed takes his clothes, and leaps out the window!
He quickly realised he had raced right into the centre of the town’s annual marathon as he went down the street in the pouring rain, so he began racing with the others, perhaps 500 of them.
He tried to blend in as much as he could while naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm. After a few moments, a small group of runners who had been watching him with interest jogged closer.
“Do you always run naked?” one person inquired.
“Oh, yes!” he exclaimed, panting for oxygen. “It feels fantastically liberating!”
Another runner approached. “Do you always run with your clothes under your arm?”
Oh, certainly,” the nude man responded quickly. “That way, I can get dressed directly after the run and get into my car to go home!
Then a third runner lowered his gaze and inquired, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Nope, just when it’s raining,” replied the man.
Recommended: Flood Jokes
I studied meteorology. I failed rain,
but I passed wind.
How are V@ginas like the weather?
When it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
I kind of have a rain fetish.
Whenever I’m in it, I just get wet.
A guy says to his wife, “Gimme a bl*wjob.”
She says, “Honey, could you PLEASE be bit a bit more romantic?”
He says, “Gimme a bl*wjob in the rain.”
Did you hear about the sick midget who was stuck outside in the rain?
He was a little under the weather!
What do a wife and a hurricane have in common?
They cast a shadow before raining down on your parade then an double down with the best bl*w job of your life until they leave with your house and car.
This drunkard on the side of the road notices this fellow across the street. When the guy sees a pretty girl coming by, he approaches her and whispers something in her ear, and she either walks away smiling or goes into the bushes with him for about 20 minutes.
After a number of occasions, the drunkard has had enough and goes across to ask the guy what’s going on. “Whenever I see a good-looking girl, I lean in and whisper in her ear, ‘Tickle your c*nt with a feather,'” Whitey responds. “If she enjoys it, we’ll go. If she becomes irritated and demands an explanation, I simply respond, ‘Typical Country Weather,’ and she walks away smiling.” “F*ck that’s easy, I can do that,” the Indian said.
So off he went until he saw a beautiful girl, he walked up to her and said, “Scratch your c*nt with a stick?” “WHAT?!” she yelled.
He replied, “Looks like rain…”
Why don’t women need umbrellas?
It doesn’t rain between the bedroom and the kitchen.
Recommended: Storm Jokes
A man walks out in the purring rain…
And he thinks to himself: “Why is it raining cats?”
If the weatherman says “it’s a 50% chance of rain”…
Does that mean he has no idea if it’s going to rain or not?!
A lady dwarf goes to her gynecologist for her annual checkup.
“Any issues or concerns?” asks the doctor.
“Well, now that you mention it, I have noticed that when it rains, my l@bia gets a bit red and sore.”
“That’s very unusual”, says the Doc, “Hop up on the table and let me take a look.”
She does, and after a few minutes of checking, he says she can get dressed again.
“There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong at the moment, but next time it rains, and you get the same reaction, I want you to come straight in. OK?”
About two weeks later, after two days of steady rain, she’s in a fair amount of discomfort and heads to the doctor’s office.
The doctor has her stand in front of him and gets her to lift up her skirt. After examining her for a few moments, he says, ” You’re right; it’s very inflamed, but I think I see the problem.”
He goes to his desk and grabs a pair of surgical scissors, and sits back down in front of her. “This won’t hurt a bit”, he says as the scissors near her crotch.
She’s so afraid that she has to look away. After a couple of minutes of cutting, he tells her, “OK, you can let your skirt down now. Try a few steps around the office and see if that’s made a difference.”
Cautiously at first, she takes little steps, then her eyes light up, and she takes several big strides.
“Oh, Dr!” she exclaims joyfully, “That’s such a relief, what did you do?!”
“Not much”, he said, “I just cut about two inches off the top of your rubber boots.”
Why did Chris Brown got wet in the rain?
Because he hit the girl who was holding the Umbrella.
Rain on a hike can really…
…put a damper on things.
What’s the difference between you and the rain?
The rain can actually make a girl wet.
A priest and a businessman were playing golf.
The businessman tried to putt the ball, but the ball rolled past the hole.
“F*cking hell, God!” swore the businessman. “Do not take the name of the Lord in anger, my son,” the priest cautioned. At the same time, clouds started to form in the sky, which they didn’t notice.
Three times again the businessman tried to sink the shot, but missed each time, and swore each time with the priest advising him not to swear. Unbeknownst to them, the skies turned from grey to black with tiny droplets of rain, and finally lightning and low rumbles of thunder.
As the businessman attempted a fourth time and missed, he swore again with two middle fingers, and before the priest could complete his usual sentence, a bolt of lightning came down and struck the priest, frying him.
As the businessman stared in shock at the smoldering heap that was moments ago the priest, he heard an angry swear coming from the clouds: “F*CK ME! I MISSED!”
What happened to the cripple that fell in the rain?
He Drowned.
Recommended: Hurricane Jokes
Why were the Chinese people happy that it was raining?
It was raining cats and dogs.
How does a necr0philic know when it is raining?
That pu$$y is wet again.
Do you have a dirty Rain joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
