55 Funny Friday The 13th Jokes And Puns

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Jessica Amlee


A significant proportion of the population in North America and Europe behaves very strangely on Friday the 13th. Some people won’t fly in airplanes, host parties, apply for jobs, get married, or even start new projects. In fact, in the United States, roughly 8% of the population is afraid of Friday the 13th, which is a condition known as paraskevidekatriaphobia. That’s right. It’s actually a combination of two separate fears. We have fear of the number 13, called triskaidekaphobia, and fear of Fridays, which is funny because everybody’s always working for the weekend. So to lighten the mood we have listed some of the best Friday The 13th Jokes.

Now these days, some people come to fear Friday the 13th because of the misfortune they’ve experienced on that day in the past. So if you get in a car wreck on Friday the 13th or lose your wallet on that day, then that superstition is bound to stick with you. If you think about it, terrible things, horrible things, or just mundane things like spilling coffee on your lap, losing your wallet, losing your cell phone, et cetera, this stuff happens all of the time. If you’re looking for bad luck on Friday the 13th, you’ll probably find it. Same thing with Saturday the 14th or Sunday the 15th, bad luck is everywhere, people. So why do we consider Friday the 13th unlucky? Well, maybe just because we want to. Now, let’s head on to our Friday The 13th puns.

Best Friday The 13th Jokes

What is Jason Voorhees’ favorite fast food restaurant?
Chi Chi Chi Chick-Fil-A.

What’s a good pasta to make on Friday the 13th?
Fettuccine Afraid-O.

If your clock strikes 13 on Friday the 13th, what time is it?
Time to fix your clock.

Friday the 13th, starring Michael Jackson,
As Jason Vorhee-hees.

Why see seamstresses or tailor on Friday the 13th?
They know a lot about superstitchins.

What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?
Prices get slashed!

What’s the best advice for Friday the 13th?
For those who believe Friday the 13th is unlucky, pretend it’s any other day like in the last two years.

On Friday the 13th, I dreamt that a horse in armor was chasing me.
It was a Knightmare.

Yo mama so ugly, Jason Voorhees gave her his mask.

What’s the scariest thing to do on Friday the 13th?
Check your bank account.

Why can’t you kill humor on Friday the 13th?
Because it’s deadpan.

What do Italians eat on Friday the 13th?
Fettucinni Afraid-o.

What do evil spirits sing on Friday the 13th?
“Voorhees a jolly good fellow. Voorhees a jolly good fellow.”

Knock, knock.
(Who is there?)
(Bee who?)
Bee-ware! It’s Friday the Thirteenth!

What’s Jason Voorhees’s favorite dessert?

What does a sorority girl do when she wakes up on Friday the 13th?
Nothing, she’s dead.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ice cream!
(Ice cream who?)
Ice-cream, you scream, we all scream because it’s Friday Thirteenth.

What desserts do black cats have on Friday the 13th?

Recommended: Black Cat Jokes

What to do if your car breaks out on a rainy Friday the 13th night?
Walk to the nearby derelict summer camp and split up to look for a landline and/or a place to have sex and/or smoke weed.

Where does Jason Voorhees buy shoes from?
Ofcourse, Crocs.

What did the serial killer do after no kills on Friday the 13th?
He committed suicide.

How did the neighbor console his wife?
By saying,” Hey look on the bright side. At least he died doing what he loved.”

Recommended: Friday The 13th Memes

Which store you shouldn’t enter on Friday the 13th?
The ghost-ery store.

Cracking a serial killer joke on Friday the 13th is ok.
As long as they are properly executed.

What should you avoid on Friday the 13th?
Ladders, black cats and ridiculous superstitions.

Why was the killer relentlessly killing fat people on Friday the 13th?
He wanted to be a mass murderer.

Mothers: The only people who will love you even when you are a machete-welding psychopath.
[Edited] Mothers: The only person you are afraid of even when you are a machete welding psychopath.

How can you tell difference between people and ghosts on Friday the 13th?
You can see right through the ghosts.

What’s the safest place to hide on Friday the 13th?
The living room.

Why did the killer go on Friday the 13th on Primetime TV?
He wanted to e-stab-lish himself.

Where do ghosts go for a family vacation after working on Friday the 13th?
Boo-dapest, the Boo-hamas, and Mali-boo.

What’s worse than Friday The 13th?
Monday the whatever.

What are the similarities between Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger?
Once you fall asleep, you’re screwed.

Why are black cats, such excellent singers?
They are mewsical.

What sort of parties do people generally organise on Friday the 13th?
Search parties.

Which country does Jason Voorhees love to spend time in?
Chi-chi-chi Na-na-na.

Who is targeting Anti-Vaxxers on Friday the 13th?

What do you do if your house is overrun with ghosts?
Hope that it’s Halloween and not Friday The 13th.

Did you hear about people being murdered and then having their bodies cooked?
Yes, it was a great heartwarming Friday the 13th story from start to finish.

How can Friday The 13th movie be wonderful?
If you watch it backwards it is a beautiful story about a man resurrecting people with a machete.

As per a study, researchers found out that one person out of every group has the potential to be a murderer.
So I killed Steve on Friday the 13th just in case he tried to harm our group.

Yo mama so ugly, even Freddy Krueger has nightmares.

Number 13: I am the worst number in the world.
Number 666: That’s cute.
Number 2020: Hold my beer…!

Who is the unluckiest girl on Friday the 13th?
Amber, constantly getting kidnapped.

What do black cats like to have on the mornings of Friday the 13th?
Mice crispies.

What happens when you propose to someone blind on Friday the 13th?
They tell you that they are seeing someone else.

Recommended: Blind Jokes

What game is most played on Friday the 13th?
Hide and Ghost Seek.

Where can you find witches on Friday the 13th?
The scary-go-round.

As per a report, 4000 people die from drowning in the US every year.
They should have been alive if they didn’t come near Lake Crystal.

What makes Jason Voorhees different from Donald Trump?
Both are frightening individuals, but Jason understands how to hide behind a mask.

On Friday the 13th, which spa treatment should you avoid?
Eyes Cream.

Which day of the month does everyone in the coven prefer?
Friday the 13th (A coven is 13 witches.)

What happened after the stripper bar dancer was killed on Friday the 13th?
The place is now possessed by en-tities.

Why do people laud Jason Voorhees’s jokes?
Because they are killers

Which one is your favorite Friday The 13th Joke? Let us know in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

2 thoughts on “55 Funny Friday The 13th Jokes And Puns”

  1. Best: How can Fri the 13th movie be wonderful?
    If you watch it backwards it’s a lovely story about a guy resurrecting people w/a machete.
    Why aren’t ppl afraid of Fri the 13th?
    The lites are out, the windows are boarded up, the lawns aren’t cut. Every day is Fri the 13th in U.S. now.

    I’m going to celebrate Fri the 13th the same way…by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.

    When is it considered unlucky to see a blk cat?
    When yr a mouse.

    What did the blk cat say to the construction worker on Fri the 13th?
    It’s fine if u avoid stepping under that ladder. I’ll cross yr path in


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