Jessica Amlee
The average adult weighs around 190 pounds the average adult woman around 165 pounds. But sadly many adults weigh far more than is evident by the rising obesity epidemic all over the world. For one reason or another, they just keep getting heavier and heavier. So to celebrate these people, we have created a list of fat jokes for you.
As per the US study in the International Journal of Obesity, laughing for 10 to 15 minutes per day can help a person burn around 40 calories each day, which is equivalent to shedding three or four pounds over the course of a year. So let’s not waste any time and help you lose some weight with these funny puns and one-liners.
Before that, let’s first take a look at funny fat people fails in the video below.
Best Fat People Jokes
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Obese people must stay active and move in order to get in shape.
Round shape.
What type of body do fat people have?
The body of a god, too bad it’s Buddha.
Why do fat Romans dress tight and slim Romans dress loose?
Because their L is bigger than their XL.
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
“My cat is very fat,” she says.
“Alright,” says the vet. “I will look at him.”
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears. Finally, she turns to the girl and says, “I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.” “Oh no! Because he’s so fat?”
“Yes,” says the doctor. “My arms are very tired.”
What do you call an over weight prank phone caller?
A Big Fat Phoney.
Where do fat people keep their six-packs?
In the cooler (pot belly).
Who started the Fat acceptance movement?
Surely, members of the wider community.
What is the most positive thing about being fat?
Harder to kidnap.
What did the fat girl say to the fat boy?
Thanks for the tip.
When a very fat man went to the doctor, he was told he needed to lose at least 7 stone.
“It’s no good,” the man lamented. “I’ve tried every diet imaginable, and they never work.”
“Well, this one’s different,” the doctor said. “You will not eat anything by mouth; everything you eat will pass through your rectum.”
After a month, the man returned to the doctor, appearing extremely pleased.
“Well done, you’ve lost nearly 4 stone; keep going and you’ll soon be at your ideal weight.” “Do you have any issues?”
“None at all,” the man replied. “I’ll catch up with you in a month.”
The doctor spotted the man walking in an unusual manner as he approached the door.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” the doctor inquired.
“You appear to be walking in an unusual manner.”
“No, everything is good, doc,” the man replied. “All I’m doing is chewing some bubble gum.”
Why shouldn’t you sugarcoat your words infront of fat people?
They would eat that too.
Recommended: Skinny Jokes
What do you call an obese psychic?
A four chin teller.
What is the name for a fat bee?
Chub-bee.
What do you call an even fatter bee?
O-bees.
Santa: Doctor Saab, I am too fat I even cannot walk properly.
Doctor: Did you control your diet as I told you to do?
Santa: Oh yes yes, doctor! I controlled my diet a lot!
Doctor: Okay.. then you should run. If you run 8kms a day for 300 days then you will definitely lose at least 34 kgs.
Santa: Oh! okay, okay doctor, I will do it.
*After 300 days, Santa called his doctor*
Santa: Oh hello doctor sahab. This is Santa Sing here.
Doctor: Yes, yes Santaji. How are you? how is your health? how is your weight? Is it in control now?
Santa: Yes doctor Saab, I have lost the weight but there is one slight problem..
Doctor: Problem? What problem?
Santa: I am 2,400 kilometers away from my home. How should I return now?
What do people do during the first few weeks of Weight Watchers?
Find their feet.
Why should we avoid cracking jokes on fat people?
Give them a break. They have enough on their plate already.
Why did the Indian guy not crack Yo Mama So Fat jokes?
Because cows are sacred in his country.
Recommended: Yo Mama So Fat Jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she takes a bath she doesn’t use any water and it still overflows.
What is the only French word fat Americans know?
Buffet.
How do you notice if your girlfriend is getting fat?
She starts to fit into your wife’s clothes.
How do fat people hide from exercise?
By joining a fitness protection program.
What could be worse than an eating disorder?
Being fat.
Why do fat girls give the best head?
Because they are hungry.
How do you burn calories?
Set a fat man to fire.
How do fat people choose the right answer to a multiple-choice question?
They weigh their options.
What letters does a fat man like?
o-b-c-d.
Why do fat people have short last names?
They usually eat their all other alphabets.
What happens when a fat guy swims past the buoys?
People think there is an island there.
Why should you ignore if someone calls you fat?
Since you are bigger than that.
Recommended: Helen Keller Jokes
What do fat people do when they get depressed?
They cut themselves… a cake.
What is the best way to look thin and slim?
By hanging out with fat folks.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Why shouldn’t obese people feel bothered by fat jokes?
Because they are higher on the food chain.
What are the chances of a fat girl getting accepted into a convent?
Slim to nun.
Why did the elevator have to go down?
Because a fat guy got in it.
Why did Jon Brower Minnoch always wear a helmet while eating?
Dude was on a crash diet.
Which movement is the only movement without movement?
Fat Acceptance.
Why do workaholics’ relationships seem to be like overweight people?
Both don’t work out.
What do you call a chubby British man?
A full English.
Recommended: Orphan Jokes
What do you call two fat people chit-chatting?
A heavy discussion.
Why do fat people cry on purpose?
To taste their tears.
Why do fat people think obesity is not a problem?
Since heat makes things expand, they think they are just hot.
What does a box of chocolate have in common with life?
They don’t last long for fat folks.
Doctor: Obesity has only one treatment.
Indian man: Which is..?
Doctor: Every day, you eat one roti.
Indian man: Is it to be eaten after or before a roti?
Why fat jokes should not be appreciated?
It is inappropriate to make fun at someone else’s expanse.
Why is it that Japan has no overweight people?
The last time, they had it killed more than 80,000 people and injured another 35,000.
In a gym full of fat people, what do you call a man with normal abs?
Abnormal.
Which cookie do the fat people love?
Four chin cookies.
What is the greatest phobia of a fat ghost?
Being exercised.
Recommended: Yoga Memes
Which city do fat people go on vacations?
Obecity.
Where do overweight people live?
Greece.
What happens when winter fat is gone?
Then you have spring rolls.
What is a popular funny saying among fat women?
Once you go fat, you never go back.
Why are fat people not overweight but simply living on the wrong planet?
Because 120 kg on Earth is equal to 45 kg on Mars.
What is fun to ride until your friends see you?
Scooters and fat girls.
What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an elf farm.
Teacher: What does the chicken provide you with, kids?
Little Johnny: Eggs and meat.
Teacher: Okay! Next question.. what does the sheep provide you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: Right! Now, tell me what the pig gives you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Correct answer! And what does a fat cow provide?
Little Johnny: Homework.
After cracking a fat joke, what was the first thing a man asked his annoyed friend?
“Which one of your chins did I hurt?”
What do you call fat ginger?
Fed Sheeran!
Recommended: Ginger Jokes
Why do you think obesity does not run in a fat person’s family?
Well, no one runs in a fat person’s family.
Why are there so many fat programmers?
They often have a snack overflow.
Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day…
Fat guy: Okay and how many at night?
Three males, a Scot, an Englishman, and a sumo wrestler, planned to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
The Scot hopped off, exclaiming, “God save Scotland!
The Englishman jumped off the boat and yelled, “God Save England!”
The Sumo wrestler jumped off, exclaiming, “God save the guy I land on!”
What is the best comeback to fat jokes?
“The only reason I am fat is because everytime I sleep with yo mama, she makes me a sandwich.”
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
What do you call it when a fat guy loses his patience?
Losing wait.
Why are fat people good at handling responsibilities?
Because they can’t run from it.
How do you find a fat girl’s snatch?
Flip through the folds until you smell shit then go back one.
Your mama so fat, her flesh-eating disease got diabetes.
Recommended: Diabetes Jokes
Why should comedians tread carefully while cracking fat jokes?
Because elephants do not forget.
What do you call the genocide of fat people?
The mass extinction.
What do turtles and lesbians who like fat women have in common?
They both have to hold their breath for a long time.
Which of these fat jokes made you laugh the most? Please share your thoughts in the comments box below!
Why don’t I crack fat jokes?
Because they wouldn’t be appreciated by wider audience.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, “We are family, even though you’re fatter than me.”
yo mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Atlantic ocean
yo mama so fat flash got tired before he ran half way around her