70 Dirty Hoe Jokes That Are Just Hoe-larious

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Jessica Amlee

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In contemporary urban slang, especially in certain parts of American pop culture, “hoe” has been more broadly used to refer to a person (often a woman) who is considered promiscuous or of low moral character. It’s not always used specifically to mean “prostitute.” They have been part of societal narratives for centuries, often finding themselves at the crossroads of societal judgments, economic challenges, and personal choices. Their profession, which deals with intimate human interactions, is frequently misunderstood, stigmatized, or oversimplified.

On the lighter side, the unique and often clandestine nature of their work has made them subjects of countless jokes and puns. Many find humor in the exaggerated stereotypes or comical situations associated with the profession, though it’s essential always to approach such jokes with sensitivity and respect, given the real challenges many in the industry face. So, look around you before sharing these adult jokes.

Best Hoe Jokes

What’s it called when bros before hoes is balanced with hoes before bros?

Why did the pimp call a meeting of his hoes when he felt unsure about himself?
He had to gather his thots.

What’s the one important thing Minecraft taught you?
It’s to never spend diamonds on a hoe.

Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?
Because he is a hoe hoe hoe.

What do tired prostitutes drink?

Yo mama such a hoe, she spreads more easily than COVID.

If a sailor calls a woman in the ocean a Mermaid, what does he call a woman on land?
Land Hoe.

Why is chicken a hoe?
Because chicken strips.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Hoe who?)
Hoe Hoe Hoe Merry Christmas!

Who is the biggest digital hoe?
Mrs. Pac-Man because for ¢25, she’ll swallow balls until she dies.

What do you call prostitutes that only work for spirits?
Ghost busters.

Ms. Rake turned down Mr. Shovel’s marriage proposal.
She didn’t want to risk her future daughters being hoes.

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?
Tally Hoes.

If having sex for money makes you a hoe, what does having sex for free make you?
A non-profit whoreganization.

Recommended: Hooker Jokes

A hammer had sex with a Hoe.
They named their baby Homer.

Luigi has 3 hoes and sends them off to make money while he waits back at home.
The first hoe comes back and says, “Luigi here’s your $100”. Luigi says, “I told you to bring me back $200”. Hoe cries, “No Luigi you said $100”. Luigi slaps her and says, “Bitch don’t correct me”.
The second hoe comes back and says, “Luigi here’s your $100”. Luigi says, “I told you to bring me back $200.” Hoe cries, “No Luigi you said $100”. Luigi slaps her and says, “Bitch don’t correct me”.
The third hoe comes back and says, “Luigi here’s your $100”. Luigi says, “I told you to bring me back $200.” Hoe cries, “No Luigi you said $100”. Luigi slaps her and says, “Bitch don’t correct me.”
The fourth hoe comes back and says… (By this point the person you’re telling this joke to is gonna ask, “I thought Luigi only had 3 hoes?” Slap them hard and say, “Bitch don’t correct me.”)

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops after three Hoes.

What kinda hoes help you tend to your garden?
Helpful hoes.

Who’s the hoe?

What do you call a hoe from Idaho?
A tater thot.

How do you say that a rumor about a guy being a real ladies’ man is not true?
No way, hoes say.

What do you call women with a fetish for firefighters?
Fire Hoes.

Recommended: Prostitute Jokes

What do you call a mermaid who’s a prostitute?

A pimp is breaking in his new bitch.
Pimp: Listen. If you wanna be my woman, your gonna have to make me some money.
Hoe: But I’ve never done anything like this before.
Pimp: Don’t worry. You go and put on your sexiest dress and stand under that lamppost. I’ll be back here. Any problems, just come back and tell me, and I’ll sort it out.
The woman is standing under the lamppost and is approached by a young black stud.
Stud: You… umm… looking for some businesses.
Hoe: Yes.
Stud: How much?
Hoe: Just wait here and I’ll be back.
Hoe: He said how much?
Pimp: Tell him $100.
Hoe: Honey. You can have me for $100.
Stud: Girl you’re killing me. I’ve only got $60.
Hoe: I’ll be right back.
Hoe: He’s only got $60.
Pimp: Tell him ‘$60 only gets him a BJ’.
Hoe: $60 and I’ll give you the best BJ.
Stud: Well… I guess that’ll have to do.
They go round the back of the alley. The woman takes one look at the young stud’s manhood.
Hoe: Wait a moment. I’ll be right back.
The woman goes to see her pimp.
Hoe: Have you got $40 to lend the young man?

What’s a pimp’s favorite cereal?
Some CheeriHoes.

Why did the garden divorce the field?
He caught her being plowed by a hoe.

What do you call a sl*tty french fry?
A potat-hoe.

What’s the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.

What do you call a hoe with no legs?
An incomplete thot.

What did the prostitute say at the start of her shift?
“Let’s get this hoe on the road!”

What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire?
An ash hoe.

Male Mantis: Yo, hoe, I want some head.
Female Mantis: Me too.
Male Mantis: What?!

What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.

What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?
They both know how to throw a good hoe down.

Recommended: Redneck Jokes

What do you call a sl*tty botanist?
A gardening hoe.

Yo mama such a hoe, she can suck peanut butter through a straw.

What do you call a hoe that makes sense?
A coherent thot.

What do you call a cake baked by a prostitute?
Hoe Made.

What do you call prostitutes that are out of breath?
Panty Hoes.

What do you call an Italian strip club?

Do you know why they don’t allow prostitutes on crew teams?
Because hoes are hard to row.

A devout Christian Canadian man is walking down the street.
Suddenly, a group of Latino male prostitutes walk up to him and ask if he wants to have a good time.
The Canadian man quickly shooed them away yelling as they went, “No way hoes eh!”

Where does a prostitute go to rat out her pimp?
To a hoe-tell.

Yo mama such a hoe, she calls her dog’s red rocket her “lip stick”.

What do you get when you squeeze a sl*tty orange?
Hoe- j.

What do you call a bunch of hoes on the subway
A train of thot.

When a chick sleeps with 12 dudes she’s a hoe… If a guy does the same, what is he?
Extreeemely gay.

How do you enter a brothel in Westeros?
Through the hoe door.

What do you call someone who tries to kiss everyone at the Christmas party?
A Mistle Hoe.

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, “Yes, I’m Arapaho.” “Is that so?” says the first, “It just happens that I’m a Navajo.”
The third lady looks at both of them and says, “I’m a Dallas hoe.”

What do you call it when a traditional Georgian prostitute gets murdered?
A good ol’ fashion hoe down.

What do you call a hoe made out of snow?
A Frostitute.

What’s the difference between a farmer and a famous rap artist?
The farmer uses the hoes to get the beets, while the famous rap artist uses the beats to get the hoes.

Yo mama such a hoe, at the clinic, she’s referred to as ‘patient zero!’

Why did the pimp cross the lawn?
To get to the hoes.

What do you call the end piece of a loaf of bread?
The hoe, bc it’s touched by everybody yet nobody wants it.

What’s common between a barber and a hoe?
They’ve got other people’s DNA all over their body.

Why did the landscaper get slapped by his wife?
He told her to get in the back, hoe.

Why was the invention of the shovel so important?
To give the hoes a break.

What’s an astrophysicists favorite p*rn?
Black hoe swallows everything.

Recommended: P*rn Jokes

What did one of the hoes knee’s say to the other?
Nothing, they have never even met.

Yo mama such a hoe, she has more creampie’s than a bakery.

How many dead hoes does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely, more than three because it’s still dark as hell in your basement.

How do you call a hoe thinking in the shower?
A shower thot.

How do you know if your girl is a hoe?
If all she is good for is slinging dirt.

What do you call a hoe that got into accounting?
The thot that counts.

Do you have a funny hoe joke? Write down your own hoe puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

1 thought on “70 Dirty Hoe Jokes That Are Just Hoe-larious”

  1. I went to a hoe, and she kept telling me “small penis no problem, small penis no problem”
    I must say I would’ve enjoyed it more if she had no penis at all.


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