There is something special about camping. It’s a chance to disconnect from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and reconnect with nature. It sounds ironic considering the fact that humans have spent more than thousands of years to get out of the elements. What could be better than a day spent exploring the wilderness, an evening of wonderful chat (and funny camping jokes) around a campfire with loved ones, and a night spent sleeping in a tent beneath a pitch-black sky full of dazzling stars?
Whether you are a first-time camper or an old timer, this list of puns has everything you need to make people laugh around you. Let’s now start with these jokes that will have you laughing all night around the campfire.
Best Camping Jokes
How are camping and homelessness different from one another?
Commitment.
A man goes camping with a .22 handgun. His pal inquires if that is for bears.
“No. A bear will not be deterred by this,” says the man. “What will you do if a bear crosses our path?” the friend asks. “I’ll run,” says the man. “RUN?” inquires the friend. “A bear cannot be outrun.”
“I don’t have to.” All I have to do is outpace you.” “But you can’t outrun me,” the friend says. “That’s what the .22 is for,” says the man.
What do you get when an argument breaks out on a camping trip?
A tents atmosphere.
How do you describe a murderer who goes camping?
Criminal intent.
How is sleeping on a sofa as a punishment and going camping similar to a husband?
Well, sleeping on a sofa makes them feel manly like they are camping with a really angry bear somewhere close by.
At the end of camp, how did a messy kid win the prize for the neatest trunk?
He just never unpacked.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
b/c he 1ted 2 bring 3 knives 4 “sur5al,” but 6 knew 7 secretly h8ed him & didn’t have be9 in10tions.
A woman visits her psychiatrist.
“Doctor, I keep getting dreams about my childhood camping excursions,” she adds. “I can’t seem to shake this nostalgia.”
The therapist nods. “I believe I understand your dilemma. You’re trapped in the past tents.”
Two campers are roaming about when they come upon a massive hole in the earth. The first camper approaches the hole and wonders, “Wow, how deep this is?” The second camper picks up a rock, throws it in the hole, and waits for it to reach the bottom. Nothing. “Jeez, it must be extremely deep!” exclaims the first camper as he picks up a huge rock. He heaves it into the hole with both hands. The campers lower their heads and wait for the enormous rock to fall. Nothing! The second camper is perplexed and suddenly notices a boulder. “Hey, come help me with this,” he asks, and they both begin dragging the massive boulder.
“3-2-1,” both campers shout as they shove the boulder into the pit and immediately lower their heads to listen to the impact. A sheep sprints and leaps into the hole in less than 4 seconds. Both campers exchange puzzled looks. “Did you notice that? A sheep simply leaped into the hole!” After a few minutes, a farmer approaches. “Hey, have you seen my sheep?” the farmer inquires. The first camper declares, “The strangest thing happened! Your sheep panicked and dove into this hole!” The farmer chuckled and said “That is not true! My animals had been chained to a rock.”
Where do Data Scientists go camping?
In Random forests.
Annie: I am staying at a camp and need to send a letter home. Do I need to stick the stamp on myself?
Clerk: No, stick it on the envelope.
The salesman asked John, “So which mattress do you want for your camping trip?”
John said, “It’s a big decision, I need to sleep on it.”
What is a grizzly bear’s favorite food?
Campers.
How do you find the weather at the camp?
Just go outside and there it is. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
What happens when a talkative camper goes hiking on a hot day?
Their tongue gets sunburned.
Recommended: Sunburn Jokes
When American visitors visit Russia, they often prefer to go for a stroll in a typical Russian forest. They come into a massive bear while hiking. The bear begins to chase the visitors, who are fleeing for their life.
A campsite not far away has a group of Russian campers sitting out and sipping vodka. They are startled to witness yelling, crazed Americans tearing through the campsite, knocking up picnic tables, breaking bottles, and then vanishing into the dense forest.
The campers are enraged, so they pursue the tourists and begin beating them up until the last one falls to the ground. They then return to the campground.
“You know Dmitri, that American – he put up a really decent fight,” one camper said to another. “Which one?” “You know, the one with the fur coat.”
Why do vampires go camping frequently with friends?
Because they can’t reflect on the good times.
Why can’t Microsoft employees enjoy camping?
Because they are always on Edge.
There’s a beach where you can camp and swim with every variety of dolphins.
It’s for all in tents and porpoises.
My parents sent me to mime camp one summer.
I still can’t talk about it.
A dad and son went camping.
After setting up the tent, the son asked his dad how to start a campfire, dad explained, “You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same…”
“Then you’ll have a match.”
Why did the rich politician start throwing money at the charging bear during camping?
He thought throwing money at the problem solved everything!
When a small campground was robbed last week, the police brought the only witness in for a line-up. All of the animals were brought in and placed in a line. When it came time for the witness to point out the bandit, she said she couldn’t be sure which one had done it, because the robber looked like he was wearing a mask.
Do you know who it was?
The raccoon.
Jerry: My parents are sending me to camp.
Joseph: Why? Do you need a vacation?
Jerry: No. They do!
How hot is Camp Woodland?
It’s so hot that campers take turns sitting in each other’s shadows.
Recommended: It’s So Hot Jokes
How damp is Camp Arrowhead?
It’s so damp that when they set a mousetrap, they catch a fish.
What do you call a crazy bug that goes camping in space?
A lunar-tick!
Have you heard the story about the Grizzly who killed a camper?
He used his bear hands.
A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer go camping.
For lunch, they bring out a massive can of beans, but no one has a can opener. “I know how we can open it,” the physicist adds, “we can generate a tremendously hot fire and place the can in it.” Internal pressure will build up and explode the can.” “We can’t do that,” the mathematician replies, “we’ll lose half our beans that way!”
“I know what to do!” says the engineer, immediately building a system of levers and pulleys. “We can use this bolder on it, which will open the can.” “Smashing it is the same problem!” argues the mathematician. “That way, we’ll lose half our beans.” “Well, if you’re that brilliant, what would you do?” said the others.
“Well, initially I would assume we had a can opener and then see what unfolds,” the mathematician responds.
What happens when the batteries in your flashlight die during camping?
You are delighted.
What is camping?
The only vacation where you work harder preparing meals and caring for your living space than you do in your freakin’ house.
What do girl scouts put on their S’mores when they camp at the swamp?
Marshmallows.
Tim: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake?
Ava: It is not possible. They are non-poisonous snakes.
Tim: It doesn’t need to be if it can make you jump off a cliff.
Two friends are discussing their camping adventures in the woods.
First friend: I was camping in the woods and on the very first night I heard a bear outside my tent looking for food.
Second friend: I’ve heard that when you see a bear you’re supposed to play dead.
First friend: Yeah but this bear was a necrophiliac.
In order to spend their summer holidays, a family went to a nudist camp.
The son returned to the tent and yelled, “Mom, you won’t believe me! You should go see some of those ladies. They have this massive…..”
“Yes, well,” sniffs his mother. “The bigger they are, the dumber the woman.”
The boy returns to the tent the next day. “Some of the guys out there will astound you. They have this massive….”
“Yes, as I already stated, the bigger they are, the dumber the man.”
“Really?” the boy asked, his face puzzled. “We could be in big trouble, Mom.”
“How come you say that?”
“Because Dad is out there with an extremely stupid chick, and he’s getting dumber by the minute.”
Have you ever heard of extreme camping?
It’s intense.
When I camped at Yellow Stone ten years ago, my wife became pregnant.
When I went camping in Yellowstone two years later, my wife became pregnant once more.
After that, when I went camping in Yellowstone, I brought my wife along.
Once you’ve seen a lion eat a camper.
You’ve seen ‘em maul.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go camping one lovely, clear fall day. They settle down for the night and sleep after supper by the campfire and a drinkable bottle of wine.
Dr. Watson pulls his pal up some hours later.
“Sherlock, could you please gaze up at the sky and tell me what you see?”
“I see millions of stars,” Sherlock responds.
“What does that say to you?”
Sherlock thinks for a moment.
“According to astrology, Saturn is in Leo.”
“Horologically, I estimate the time to be about a quarter past three.”
“From a theological standpoint, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are inconsequential.”
“From a meteorological standpoint, I believe we will have another wonderful day tomorrow.”
“According to astronomy, there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Some of those billions of planets must have life, therefore I must conclude, my dear Watson, that we are not alone in the universe.”
Sherlock, shocked awake by the intellectually inferior dialogue, asks Watson, “What does it tell you when you gaze at the sky, Watson?”
Watson remained silent for a minute before speaking: “Holmes, you moron. Our tent has been stolen!”
Where will the campers sleep in the 24th century?
In the future tents.
Two men are camping in the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!”
His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
There were four guys in a deer hunting camp. They had to share a room with two other people. Nobody wanted to share a room with Randolph because he snored so loudly. They felt it wouldn’t be fair to force one of them to stay with him the entire time, so they decided to take turns.
The first guy slept with Randolph and shows up to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and bloodshot eyes. “Man, what happened to you?” questioned the other two. “Randolph snored so loudly that I just sat up and watched him all night,” he explained.
The following night, it was the turn of the second guy. In the morning, the same thing happens: his hair sticking up and his eyes are bloodshot. The other two individuals stated, “What happened to you, man? You look terrible!” He stated, “That Randolph rocks the house. I sat up all night watching him.”
Jerry’s time came on the third night. Jerry was a huge beefy ex-footballer; he was a man’s man. He arrived at breakfast the next morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning,” he remarked cheerfully. The other two were astounded! He appeared to be both relaxed and calm. “Man, what happened?” they inquired. He stated, “So, we prepared for bed. I went into Randolph’s room, stroked his buttocks, and kissed him good night. Randolph stood up all night watching me.”
What is a campfire at a nudist camp called?
A weenie roast.
What’s green and goes to summer camp?
A brussel scout!
Recommended: Summer Jokes
James and Robert, two brothers, go camping in the woods. When they get to their destination, they cook dinner and drink a few beers before realising they forgot one of their two one-person tents back home. They decide to play rock/paper/scissors to determine who will sleep in the tent and who will sleep outside. James wins, so they both slip into their sleeping bags and go to sleep, with James in the tent.
A few hours later, a gang of blackout drunk campers stumbles into their camp and decides to be jerks by beating the heck out of Robert. Before the drunks rush off laughing into the night, Robert fights to defend himself groggily. Robert staggers over to James in the tent and yells at him to wake up, describing what has happened. James, a renowned heavy sleeper, has heard nothing of this and furiously urges Robert to go back to bed.
Robert, who is still sleepy and dizzy, believes he may have dreamed it and that he drank more than he thought. He slips back into his sleeping bag and promptly falls asleep. About 30 minutes later, the group returns and discovers that their victim hasn’t left the campsite, so they continue to lay into Robert with punches and kicks before fleeing cackling into the night.
Robert stumbles over to James, this time confident in himself, and after some effort, James is once more awaken. He says he is not dreaming and that people are coming to beat him up. James accuses Robert of being irritated because he had to sleep outside and decides he doesn’t want to deal with his whiny brother and goes outside to sleep instead. Robert is adamant about his experience, but James refuses to listen, and they soon fall asleep again, having switched seats.
When the drunks return an hour later and realise that their victims are still there, they decide to repeat their stupid behaviour and beat up the person. However, when they draw near, one of them changes his mind and says, “Hey man, you know I actually feel terrible for this guy… let’s fuck up the one in the tent.”
Camp Counselor: Doc! A camper just swallowed a bullet. What should I do?
Camp Doctor: For the moment, don’t point him at anyone.
What do you do when a bull charges you while camping?
You pay it whatever it charges.
George and Michael plan to go camping with their spouses. “Hey George, since your wife has never been camping before, why don’t I show her how to set up a tent while you take my wife to fetch firewood?” Michael asks when they get to the campsite. George accepts and goes out into the forest with Michael’s wife to fetch firewood.
Michael begins helping George’s wife put up the tents and decides to obtain some water for the campsite. A swarm of mosquitos passes through while George’s wife is setting up the tents, and because she is dressed for the outdoors, they attack her on the only exposed flesh they can find on her neck, leaving large red markings.
A short while later, Michael returns to the camp as quickly as he can, wearing no shirt, and trips on a tree root, landing directly on top of George’s wife. When George and Michael’s wife return to the campsite, they notice “hickeys” on George’s wife and Michael panting and puffing with scratches on his back.
George is enraged and demands that the two explain themselves. George’s wife says, “No, you don’t get it. I was putting up the tents when these mosquitos stung me all over my neck.”
Michael finally takes a breather and explains, “A bear charged me while I was down by the river getting water. As I turned to flee, it swiped at me, pulling my shirt off and scratching my back. I was running back so fast that I tripped and fell on top of your wife.”
George isn’t buying it and accuses both of them of playing around when Michael abruptly exclaims, “Why are you yelling at me in the first place? I should be screaming at you for cheating on my wife.”
“Where the hell did you get that idea?” replies George, surprised.
“Because you’ve been gone for an hour and don’t have any goddamn firewood!” Michael responds.
A man went camping with his wife, children, and mother-in-law.
His wife wakes up in the middle of the night to discover her mother gone. She rushed up to her husband and insisted on looking for her mother. The husband grabbed up his gun, sipped some whiskey, and set out to find her.
They came upon a terrifying situation in a meadow not far from the camp: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a massive bear stood facing her.
“What are we going to do?” the wife wailed.
“Nothing,” the husband replied. “Let the bear figure out how to get himself out of this mess.”
What did the cook say when the young camper told him that something was wrong with his hot dog?
Don’t tell me. I am not a veterinarian.
Little Johnny was afraid one night while sleeping alone at camp, so he dashes out of his tent and runs to his teacher’s tent, asking, “Miss, can I please sleep with you tonight?”
His teacher responds, “NO.”
“But my mummy allows me,” Johnny laments.
“OK, just for tonight,” the teacher says.
Johnny climbs into the bed and begs, “Miss, may I please play with your belly button with my finger?”
“NO,” she says once more.
“But my mother allows it,” Johnny adds.
“Well, I suppose it’s OK,” the teacher responds.
For a few moments, all is quiet until the teacher yells, “THAT’S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON!”
“It ain’t my finger, either,” says Little Johnny.
Ever have sex while camping?
It’s fcking intents.
An Australian man dials 911 while camping with his wife.
Operator: “Emergency services How can we assist you, mate?”
Man: “My Olivia got bitten by a mosquito in her minge and it’s all swollen and now we can’t make love!”
“Oh bummer mate…” says the operator.
“Oh thanks, dude, I never thought of it!” says the man before hanging up.
In the mountains, two buddies are camping. They are loosening by going through nature, breathing fresh air, and speaking about whatever they want. One of them wants to pee, so he strays from the main walking path. He’s peeing in a bush when his penis is bitten by a rattlesnake. He begins to cry and panic: “My penis has been bitten by a snake! Oh my god! My penis, my penis!”
The other guy approaches his pal and asks: “Have you seen the snake? What was it like?” The bitten friend: “I don’t know how that happened so quickly. Oh, penis! I believe it was poisoned! Please call for help.”
“Don’t worry, friend, I’ve got you covered!” Then he dials the number for the hospital
“Hello. My friend was just bitten by a snake. I’m afraid it was poisonous. How should I proceed?”
“Do not be worried, Sir. You must suck all of the blood from the bitten area and spit out the poison.”
“OK, I get it.” And then he hangs up.
The bitten man, still holding his penis, looks at his pal. “So? What did she say?”
“She said you’d die.”
What is the name of a summer camp for people with ADHD?
A concentration camp.
Son: I took about a ten-mile hike while camping.
Dad: In my days, I thought nothing of walking ten miles.
Son: To be honest, I didn’t think much of it either.
A redhead, a blonde, and a brunette go camping.
They build their tents and retire for the night. They wake up the next morning to discover the redhead prepping a deer and cooking it. The blonde and brunette are taken aback and wonder where she got it.
“Simple,” the redhead says. “I kept following the tracks, then BOOM, I caught a deer!”
The brunette is thrilled and exclaims, “Wow! That is something I must attempt!”
She goes out into the woods and returns a few hours later, dragging a complete moose carcass. The other two are taken aback and inquire as to how she obtained it.
“It’s so simple!” exclaims the brunette. “I just kept following the tracks, and BOOM! I captured a moose!”
The blonde insists that she will not be left out and will go catch something as well. So she goes off into the woods, and three hours later, the redhead and brunette come across her dragging her bloodied body back into camp. Her arm and both legs have been fractured, and she is unable to move.
“My gosh! What happened? “the redhead says.
“It’s so simple!” exclaims the blonde. “I followed the tracks, followed the tracks, and BOOM got hit by the train!”
Where do backpackers keep their sleeping bags?
In their nap sacks.
Yo mama so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.
Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes
Two men camping in the mountains who had been together for four days were becoming irritated. One morning, the first man says, “We’re getting on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we separate today?
“I’ll trek north and spend the day exploring, while you hike south and spend the day relaxing. Then, tonight, we’ll eat dinner and share our stories around the campfire.”
The second man accepts and begins hiking south. The first man heads north.
The first man shares his story over supper that night. “I went on a hike today into a gorgeous valley. I ate lunch after following a stream up into a canyon. Then I went swimming in a beautiful highland lake. I sat outside to dry while watching deer drink from the stream. Butterflies flocked to the blossoms, and hawks circled overhead all day. How did you spend your day?”
The second man begins, “I rushed south and came upon a train track. I pursued them until I came across a young woman chained to the railroad tracks. I cut the ropes, carefully took her off the tracks, and made love with her in every way possible for the rest of the afternoon. Finally, when I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move, I returned to camp.”
The first man says “Wow! That’s amazing! Did you get head?” The other guy says “No, I couldn’t find it.”
What makes a fleshlight different from a flashlight?
One takes C batteries and the other takes D’s.
Why can’t you run at a campground?
Because you ran: It’s past tents.
A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbi are all camping together.
They each claim to be the best at converting people to their own beliefs around the campfire. To settle their friendly argument, they decide to go in search of a bear and attempt to convert it. They set out in opposite directions into the woods the next day, intending to return to the campground within twelve hours.
That night, they gathered around the fire once more. “How did you do?” asked the Baptist.
“I came upon a bear grazing for berries,” the priest explained. “I read to him from our Catechism and we discussed theology, and I’m delighted to tell you that I signed him up to begin our conversion education.”
“Good,” said the Baptist. “I discovered a black bear on a riverbed. I explained God’s plan of salvation to him. I baptised him right there in the creek after he did the sinner’s prayer!”
They both turned to face the rabbi, who now had scratches on his face, torn clothes, and blood on his belly. “If I could do it all over again, I would not start with circumcision,” he remarked, taking a long, deep breath.
What does it mean when you find a horseshoe at camp?
Some poor horse is going around barefoot.
Why don’t elephants bring backpacks to camp?
They keep everything in their trunks.
Four friends plan the ideal desert camping and adventure riding for weeks.
Two days before the group’s departure, Rob’s wife puts her foot down and refuses to accompany him. Rob’s pals are disappointed that he won’t be able to attend, but what can they do?
Two days later, the three arrive at the camping spot to find Rob already set up with a tent, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
“Damn man, how long have you been here, and how did you convince your wife to let you go?”
“I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair when my wife approached from behind me, put her hands over my eyes, and asked, “Guess who?”
I pushed her hands away from her, and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightgown. She took my hand in hers and led me to our bedroom. The place was decorated with two dozen candles and rose petals.
She had handcuffs and ropes on her bed! I did what she instructed and tied and cuffed her to the bed. “Now you can do whatever you want,” she announced.
“So? Here I am.”
What do you call a gay bar on fire?
A camp fire.
Recommended: Gay Jokes
What do you call two gay guys in a sleeping bag during camping?
A fruit roll-up.
What do you call two brown people in a sleeping bag during camping?
A Kit Kat.
An Indian tribe kidnaps a white man while he was camping in a nearby place. “We’ll let you live if you pass the Three Tent Test,” says the tribe’s chief. The white man readily accepts and then inquires about the test.
The chief explains: “There are three teepees lined up here. A jug of our finest fire water and some moonshine can be found in the first teepee. You must chug it. A bear can be found in the second teepee. You must eliminate it. The ugliest squaw in our tribe lives in the third teepee. You must make love to her. If you pass, you are free to leave.”
The white man enters the first tent and emerges a few minutes later, staggering and slurring his words. He enters the second tent with the bear.
There’s some rumbling and screaming inside, but the white man emerges a few minutes later, covered in scratches and blood. He’s still slurring his words and yelling as he makes his way to the third tent, “Alright, now where’s that fucking bear at!”
If there is a kidnapping at camp what should you do?
Wake him up.
A city boy on his first camping trip was eating his lunch when an old-timer came.
“It sure smells like rain,” said the camper.
The boy replied, “They said it was lemonade.”
A horny gorilla spots a lion drinking from a little river. The gorilla charges up behind the lion, grabs him, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, pursued by an enraged lion. As they race through the jungle, the gorilla takes the lead and notices a British safari camp ahead.
The gorilla walks into the camp, gets some khakis that have been hanging out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a cap. To hide his face, he sits on a chair near the bonfire and grabs a copy of the local newspaper, pretending to read.
The lion roars as he approaches the campground. “Did anyone see a gorilla run through here?” he exclaims.”You mean the one who banged the lion up the ass?” says the gorilla, disguised.
The lion yells, “Oh my goodness! Is it already in the newspaper?”
How do you avoid getting sick from insect bites while camping?
Don’t bite any insects
Three cowboys sat around a campfire, each telling a wild story. As per first, “I must be the fiercest, meanest cowboy around. A bull went loose in the ring the other day and gored six guys before I dragged it to the bullpen by the horns with my own hands.”
The second cowboy said, “That is nothing. Yesterday, while I was strolling down the trail, a fifteen-foot rattlesnake slid out from under a boulder and made a move for me. I seized the snake with my bare hands, bit off its head, and swallowed down the poison in one go. And I’m still alive.”
The third cowboy stood motionless, peering into the fire and stirring the coals with his dick.
Where does cantaloupe go for summer vacation?
John Cougar’s Melon Camp.
What happened to the camper that put a firecracker in the pancake batter?
When the pancakes came, he blew his stack.
Why wasn’t the wife camping in the woods afraid of hearing that lion escaped from a nearby zoo?
She heard it was a man-eating lion.
What happened to the campers that played with matches?
They made complete ashes of themselves.
What does an octopus take camping?
Its tentacles.
On the last day of camp, the kids were asked about their best part of camp.
“Going home,” said one among them.
Hope you enjoyed our favourite camping jokes that make us laugh out loud over the full camping experience!
