Christmas for kids is pure magic, filled with shiny lights, cozy sweaters, and a countdown to see if Santa ate the cookies. It’s a time when every little moment feels exciting, from decorating the tree to wondering how reindeer fly. But what really keeps the giggles going during this festive time? Christmas jokes, of course.
These little jokes are like extra sprinkles on a holiday cookie. Kids love cracking up over silly puns while parents try not to laugh harder than them. Whether it’s during a car ride to see the lights or in the middle of opening presents, Christmas jokes bring a sparkle to their eyes and keep everyone in the holiday spirit.
Best Christmas Jokes for Kids
Did you know that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet during Christmas?
No-el.
What part of the present is musical?
The wrapping paper!
Why does the Grinch hate knock knock jokes?
Because it’s always Who’s there.
What do you call someone who isn’t sure whether Santa exists or not?
Eggnogstic.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the snowman go to the garden?
To pick his nose.
Why didn’t Captain Nemo get any Christmas presents?
Because he was on the Nautilus.
Why is Santa good at karate?
He has a black belt.
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey, he’s always stuffed.
Why many don’t see much future for Advent Calendars?
It feels like their days are numbered.
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What’s Santa Claus’ net worth?
Eight bucks.
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve.”
Why do shepherds never laugh at a joke?
They’ve herd it all before.
What nationality is Santa?
North Polish.
What is a good name for a nun in Heaven?
If you guessed “Heaven nun” or “Angel nun” you’re wrong. The answer is “Nun of the Above”.
How did Rudolph do on his report card?
He went up in Math and down in History.
How do elves measure their height?
In Santa-meters!
How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?
Max speed.
Do you know why the gates of heaven are always left open?
Because Jesus was raised in a barn!
Which of Santa’s reindeer were the dinosaurs most scared of?
Comet of course.
What do vampires put on their turkeys at Christmas?
Grave-y.
What did the angel say when he picked up the phone?
“Halo!”
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What do you call someone who gives out soda on Christmas?
Fanta Clause.
What happens to you at Christmas?
Yule be happy.
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?
He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Did you hear about Santa’s elf who shoots rockets from his feet?
His name is Missile Toe.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman!
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail.
How do you hide a new video game before Christmas?
You put the cartridge in a pear tree.
Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What is the Grinch’s favorite musical group?
The Who.
What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus.
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Who’s Santa’s favorite female pop star?
Beyon-Sleigh.
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum. Why? Because you can’t beat it.
Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital?
Because he has private elf care!
If Jesus were alive today, what kind of car would he drive?
A Chrysler!
How do angels light a candle?
With a match made in heaven.
What did the owl say after putting the Santa hat on?
“HOO HOO HOO!”
Why does eggnog only come out around Christmas?
Because it takes all year to milk the eggs.
Why wasn’t the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree?
Because of ‘elf and safety restrictions.
What do you call an elf who ran away from Santa’s workshop?
A rebel without a Claus.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
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What US state has the most Christmas spirit?
Idaho-ho-ho!
Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
What do you call an angry candy cane?
A Christmas Ornery-mint!
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t talk about it?
John 12:49 “I have not spoken of my own Accord”.
What did the bald dad say after receiving a comb for Christmas?
“I will never part with this.”
Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
What do you call a dairy messiah?
Cheesus Christ.
What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.
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How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer.
What do you call an ant who refuses to sing Christmas carols?
A humbug!
Why did the airport have mistletoe at check-in?
So you could kiss your luggage goodbye.
Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
They are Santa’s star bucks.
What sport did Jesus play?
Lacrosse!
Why do pies like mistletoe?
Because they like to pukka up.
Who’s Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
Why do bees stay in their hive in the winter?
‘Swarm.
Why don’t therapists go on holidays?
It’s a lot to unpack.
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What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santa-tizer!
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes.
My candy cane collection is worth a fortune.
It’s in mint condition.
Why wouldn’t that kid play catch with Santa Claus?
He had Clausthrowphobia.
How does Jesus make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do elves learn at school?
ELF-ABET.
What do you call a ghost that haunts Santa?
A polargeist.
Why do geese fly south for the winter?
It’s much easier and faster than walking.
What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
There was an accident at Santa’s workshop and a bookcase collapsed.
Now there’s a shelf on an elf.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
They don’t have any organs.
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What do you call a Christmas Tree that knows Kung Fu?
Spruce Lee.
Do you guys know how much Santa paid for all his reindeer?
Nothing, they were on the house.
What do you call it when a snowman loses his temper?
A meltdown.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible winter.
And that sucks because he had a great fall.
What happens when Santa’s GPS stops working?
He becomes a lost Claus.
What do you call an old snowman?
A jug of water.
Who was the meanest reindeer to Rudolph?
Olive. Because Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do Frosty the Snowman and Alexander the Great have in common?
Their middle name.
What do you call a dog in the winter?
A chili dog.
How did Santa build a house at the North Pole without any nails?
Iglooed it!
Why didn’t Frosty the Snowman get married?
He got cold feet.
What did Jesus say to the folks who refused to read the Bible?
You win psalm, you lose psalm.
What does a snowman bring to the barbecue?
Brrrrrr-gurs.
Who is the only reindeer Sylvester Stallone is afraid of?
RuDolph Lundgren.
What do you call a sick person who hates Christmas?
Ebesneezer Scrooge.
What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”?
Mistle-toad.
What did Santa Claus say when his reindeer asked for a raise?
“Frankly my deer, I don’t give a dime!”
What’s it called when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison?
Treeson.
What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
One’s slayin’ a dragon, and the other’s draggin’ a sleigh.
Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town?
He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn.
What do laser guns and churches have in common?
Pew.
Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flatbread?
It’s a Pita Parka.
Why should you stand in the corner when it’s cold?
It’s 90 degrees.
Did you hear about the thief who stole an Advent calendar?
His days are numbered.
Why did the gelatin hate the pudding?
Because they were jell-os.
Do you have a funny Christmas joke for a kid? Write down the best ones in the comment section below!
