What is the most significant disadvantage for a dyslexic person? Well, they can’t play Scrabble. Moreover, the grammar police are always waiting for them to commit mistakes on Instagram captions. Well, one can not surely forget the day when the teachers ask them to read the next paragraph. The long awkward pauses in between the sentences surely test the teacher’s patience.
In this list, we are going to turn the tables. We are going to test the patience of our Dyslexic readers by sharing the best Dyslexic jokes. We aim to bring a smile to your face before you leave this space.
Funny Dyslexic Jokes
Did you hear about a guy who refused to believe he was gay and dyslexic?
He was in Daniel.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A dyslexic person typing.
Why being a dyslexic taxi driver is not difficult?
Because it’s as easy as C, A, B.
Why can’t a dyslexic tell a joke?
Because they always punch up the fuck line.
Why are dyslexic people bad at parties?
They can’t read the room.
How do you know you are dyslexic?
If life gives you melons.
What does D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
What did the dyslexic yell after walking into a bank?
“Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up!”
Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member?
He went around killing gingers.
How is a dyslexic cow like a Buddhist monk?
Both say “ommmmmmmmm.”
Why can’t a dyslexic be a witch?
You need to be good at spelling.
Who killed Brian?
A pack of dyslexic zombies.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
Dude sold his soul to Santa.
Joe, the dyslexic cop, is summoned to the captain’s office and read the riot act. The captain declares, “Joe, you’re a good cop, but these reports aren’t going to cut it any longer! They’re damn near illegible! If there is even one misspelt word on the next report, you will be suspended! Now get out of here and start patrolling!”
The cop swears that he will not make any more mistakes and goes on patrol. He’s driving around town when he receives a call about a nearby traffic fatality. The cop activates his lights and accelerates toward the scene. When the cop arrives, he sees the worst head-on collision he’s ever seen. He gets out of the car, grabs his notebook, and begins taking notes, paying close attention to his spelling.
“One, O-N-E. Ford, F-O-R-D. In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H.”
The cop thinks to himself, “Okay, so far, so good.” He walks across the street to the other vehicle.
“One, O-N-E. Dodge, D-O…D…G-E. In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H.”
The cop is now extremely self-assured. He walks to the middle of the highway and finds the severed head of one of the unfortunate victims.
“One, O-N-E. Head, H-E-A-D. In the boulevard, B-U-L…B-L-U…B-O-L-L…B-I-L….”
The cop puts down his pen, looks around, and kicks the head to the side of the road. He quickly writes, “In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H.”
Son: Dad, why do I crave pumpkins every Halloween?
Dad: It’s because you’re dyslexic son.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought himself a warehouse.
What’s it like texting this cute dyslexic girl?
You think she likes you, but she keeps sending mixed messages.
How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb?
Why did the dyslexic wizard get kicked out of school?
He couldn’t spell.
What happens if you drop a nuclear weapon on a dyslexic person?
Why did the dyslexic couple learn karate?
They tried to get some marital counselling but ended up with martial training.
What does a rooster say?
What does a dyslexic rooster say?
What does a gay rooster say?
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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
Lies awake all night wondering if the dog is real.
Did you hear about the dyslexic who was told he wouldn’t be good at poetry by others?
So far he has made 3 jugs and a vase, which are lovely.
Why did the dyslexic person drink the potion?
Because it was the only option.
What did you do after the first date with a dyslexic woman?
You took her home and she ended up cooking your sock.
What do you call a dyslexic dad joke?
A bad joke.
Why did the dyslexic refuse to wear a polo shirt?
Because he was Lacoste intolerant.
A dyslexic boy is driving home from training with his mother.
“Can we go to McDonald’s, mum? I’m hungry,” the boy inquires.
“Of course, if you can spell McDonald’s, we’ll stop on the way home, son.”
The boy takes a breather, gathers himself, and begins “M…C.” He starts to struggle.
“Ah fuck it, let’s have a KCF.”
Why was the dyslexic kid kicked out of the movie theater?
He kept asking where to buy cop porn.
Why do Dyslexic criminals love weed?
It’s the ultimate getaway drug.
What did the dyslexic Satanist name his boat?
Why did dyslexic Karen go to the Christmas nativity?
To see the manger.
Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic?
He was always afraid he was following someone.
Why did the dyslexic mathematician go to rehab?
He was struggling with addition.
A man is conversing with a barmaid who has an unusually large chest.
“Excuse me, sir, my eyes are up here,” the barmaid says after an awkward pause.
“When you have something written on your t-shirt, people are going to read it,” the man responds.
“Yes, but you’ve been staring at my chest for the past minute, what’s your problem?” says the barmaid.
The guy replies, “I’m dyslexic so it’s taking me a while to get through the 3rd paragraph.”
How does a dyslexic person spell “baldy”?
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Why are dyslexic people religious?
Because they think god is man’s best friend.
What did the dyslexic man say when the police shot an unarmed programmer?
“They should have just compiled.”
What does a dyslexic Mexican smoke?
What do a dyslexic alcoholic and a sex addict have in common?
They both love going to the bra.
Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread?
Too many crabs.
Why shouldn’t you have sex with a dyslexic dwarf?
It’s not big and it’s not clever.
It was a bad day for a dyslexic plumber. He despised his disorder because it made him appear unprofessional to his clients.
He began by paying a visit to the home of a soccer mom who had a broken dishwasher. He inquired, “Are you the woman with the busted wishdasher?” She was, and she didn’t correct him because she didn’t want to offend him. He repaired the appliance, was paid, and then left.
He then went to an elderly man’s home. When he arrived, he inquired about the job, but mispronounced the words once more. “Are you the guy with the pipey leaks?” The old man didn’t seem to notice, but the plumber realised his error and corrected himself. “Leaky pipes, that is…” The plumber repaired the pipes, was paid, and then moved on to the next job.
The day’s final job was at a house that had recently been sold to a gay man. The plumber had never met him before, but he tried to maintain professionalism. The plumber got on the floor to check the U-Trap because the man’s kitchen sink was full of water that wouldn’t drain. Before getting up, he explained what he needed to do and how much it would cost.
“Alright, I’m gonna give you a deal since you’re new in town. I’ll drain your snake for only $100.”
Why did the dyslexic teen bring a tampon to class?
It was mensuration class.
How did Dyslexia cost one their job in IT?
Turns out the boss wanted to unzip his ‘files.
Do you know what the best part of having dyslexia is?
I have sex daily.
What’s the difference between $3.50 and a girl flashing you on the street?
Dyslexia. One is free tiddy and one is tree fiddy.
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Did you hear about the band called Dyslexia?
They’ve just released their Greatest Shit album.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
What does your dyslexic friend think about Nate?
He thinks he’s neat.
Did you hear about that dyslexic Japanese samurai?
He was so dishonored, that he committed Sudoku.
What is the one good thing blind people don’t have?
Have a funny joke on Dyslexia? Post your Dyslexia roast in the comment section below.