Eggs are basically the superheroes of the breakfast world. They’re small, breakable, but somehow end up in everything from cakes to fried rice. People boil them, scramble them, and even turn them into omelets that look like they’ve seen better days. No wonder egg jokes are so popular, eggs are already halfway to being funny just by existing.
The fun really begins when people start turning eggs into comedy material. Something about their shape, their name, or the way they behave in a frying pan just makes them perfect for joke setups. Egg jokes don’t need deep thinking, they’re the kind of laughs that come easy, just like breakfast on a lazy Sunday.
Best Egg Jokes
What happens to an egg every time you look at it?
It becomes egg sighted.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today.
Gonna let you know.
A piece of toast and a hard-boiled egg walked into a bar.
The bartender says, ” Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
If rubber comes from rubber trees and sugar comes from sugarcanes, where do eggs come from?
Poul-trees.
Why do French people have only one egg for breakfast?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought you got eggs from an eggplant.
Did you hear about a hen who could count her own eggs?
She was a mathmachicken.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Omelette.
(Omelette wh…)
Omelette you finish, but this is the best egg pun of all time!
How do you turn deviled eggs back into regular eggs?
Eggsorcism.
Why wouldn’t the egg take a hot bath?
He didn’t want to be hard boiled.
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What do you call an egg from outer space?
An “Egg-stra terrestial.
A man and his family walk into a bar.
Inside, the man’s youngest child notices a Native American sitting under a sign that reads “World’s Longest Memory.” Curious, the child walks up to him and decides to put the claim to the test.
“What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?” the child asks.
The Native American replies, “Eggs.”
The child smirks and says, “You could have just made that up,” then walks away.
Years later, the now-grown child returns to the same bar with his own family. He sees the same Native American still sitting there.
Approaching him with a stereotypical greeting, the man says, “How!”
The Native American calmly replies, “Scrambled.”
Why don’t you tell jokes to eggs?
Because they crack up!
What’s an egg’s favorite vacation spot?
New Yolk City.
Where do bad eggs go when they die?
Eggshell.
How does the Flash like his eggs?
Runny.
Where do eggs enjoy their morning coffee?
On the poach.
From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
What kind of car does an egg drive?
A yolkswagen.
Vincent van Gogh’s mother asked him to get 6 eggs from the store, but he came back with three…
She forgot that he can only hear half of what she’s saying.
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Why did the egg hide?
It was a little chicken.
What is an egg’s least favorite day?
Spanish Inquisition.
A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store.
“Can you go down to the store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.”
Later on he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says, “Why do you have 6 gallons of milk?”
He responded, “They had eggs.”
This man was walking past a farm, and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’.
He thought that was an unnecessary comma. And then it hit him..
What’s the difference between a beetroot and an egg?
You can beat an egg but you can’t beat a root.
How do chickens stay fit?
Egg-cercise.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonades but what do you do when it gives you eggs?
You eggs-cel.
Did you hear about the race between the cabbage, the tomato, the gravy, and the egg?
At first, the cabbage was a head, but then the tomato found it could easily ketchup. The gravy kept running, and the egg got beaten.
What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill?
Egg rolls.
How does Kanye like his eggs?
Over Yeezy.
This kid saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.
He said to Arnold, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.”
Arnold said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”
Why does the rest of breakfast hate the eggs?
Because the Eggs Benedict to the rest of them.
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Why do chickens sit on eggs?
Because they don’t have any chairs.
“Back in the day,” my grandfather started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well.”
“But today,” he continued, “wherever you go, there are cameras.”
How does Zeus like to fry his eggs?
In Greece!
Last night, someone broke into my home and took a dozen eggs, but they left a saucepan filled with warm water.
Police believe it was Poachers.
When did the Japanese start eating eggs?
A long tamago.
How are rotten eggs like dads?
They both have bad yolks.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Safety. Remember that safety always comes first.
An ox walks into a diner.
And sits in a booth. The waitress comes over to take his order.
He orders the regular breakfast: 2 eggs, choice of meat, potatoes, and toast. The waitress asks, “How do you like your yolk?”
Offended, the ox looks up and says, “I don’t.”
What should you do if your omelette starts floating?
Call an egg-sorcist.
Why does eggnog only come out around Christmas?
Because it takes all year to milk the eggs.
What happens when small fish get too old to lay eggs?
They go through minnow-pause.
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In my neighborhood, the price of eggs is so high.
I saw a guy outside of 7-11 selling “loosies”.
What did the egg say when it was late?
“Sorry om-lette…”
Why did the egg leave the comedy club?
He didn’t appreciate the yolks.
If a cat wanted to beat an egg, how would they do it?
With their whiskers.
Why should you be extra careful handling duck eggs?
They’re prone to quacking.
Why was the chef arrested?
He was caught beating the eggs and whipping the cream!
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.
The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. “You might want to write it down,” she said. The husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream.” She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write it down,” she told him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.” Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. “Write it down,” she told her husband and again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”
So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon.
The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, “Where’s the toast?”
How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled!
What do you call an egg that runs from a fight?
A chicken.
Why was the egg itchy?
Because it had egg-zema.
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Why would an egg be a terrible criminal?
They crack under pressure.
My chicken couldn’t find her eggs
When she complained, I reassured her that she must have just mislaid them.
If you think about it.
Scrambled eggs are really just fried chicken…
What do you call it when you eat an egg sandwich in the morning?
Breakfast in bread.
Why should you never use the word “EGG” for your password?
It’s very easily cracked.
Two eggs bump into each other.
One says, “Eggcuse me.”
My house is haunted by a chicken.
It is actually a poultry-geist.
A real fowl spirit.
I called in an egg-orcist.
He was helping it to cross over to the other side.
There is an annual competition between poached and scrambled eggs to see which is better.
Poached eggs are unbeaten.
Why don’t you put eggs in a microwave?
Because they eggsplode.
We know from Scripture that Jesus preferred soft boiled eggs…
Because he said “My yolk is easy…”
What did the egg say in the monastery?
“Out of the frying pan and into the friar.”
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Why can’t you make a dinosaur omelette?
Because they are egg-stinct.
How do you find a chicken on the freeway?
Take the nest egg sit.
Do you want scrambled eggs?
SGEG.
How do you make an egg taste like chicken?
Wait.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, “Why have you got a fried egg on your head?”
The man replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.”
Why do unborn chickens have such bizarre habits?
They’re a little egg-centric.
What are the devil’s favorite things to put on a sandwich?
Hellmann’s mayonnaise, sin-namon, deviled eggs, deviled ham….
What do we call an ample amount of eggs?
An eggs ample.
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What did the egg say to the hat?
“I was hoping you’d tell me.”
How does Shrek like his eggs?
Ogre easy.
At a kid’s birthday party, the hired magician was producing egg after egg from a little boy’s ear.
“There!” he said proudly. “I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?”
“Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. “She keeps ducks.”
Why were there eggshells on Shakespeare’s kitchen?
You can’t make a Hamlet without breaking some eggs.
Did you know that you can’t pelt irreligious people with rotten eggs?
Because they’re egg-no-stick.
How do eggs travel to the hospital?
In a scrambulance!
Why couldn’t the chicken sleep?
He had restless egg syndrome.
What do you call a breakfast made of a rooster, a hen and their own eggs?
A whole famealy.
What do you call an egg that bangs on your door?
A knock knock yolk.
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Which food, when fed prior to sending a parcel, results in faster delivery?
Fed Eggs.
A woman takes her son to the doctor’s and tells the doctor that he thinks he’s a chicken.
The doctor asks, “How long has he been like this?”
The woman replies, “Three years.”
The doctor exclaims, “Three years! Why didn’t you bring him in sooner?”
The woman says, “We needed the eggs.”
Why did the egg trip and fall?
He was too egg-cited.
Why should you be careful when making meringue?
Cause beating the egg whites is a whisky business.
Which door do hens use?
The eggs-it.
How well does glue close up a cracked egg?
Egg-sealant-ly (excellently).
Why did the chicken go around the world?
Because it was an egg-splorer.
If you throw an egg at someone, there will be harm.
But no fowl.
What’s a Hindu?
Lays eggs!
There was an Egg that went to a cafe.
The Woman at the counter asked, “What can I get you?”
The Egg said, “Could you get me a double Eggspreso.”
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What’s a chicken’s favorite subject to study?
Egg-onomics.
What’s a hen’s favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What does a meditating egg say?
“Ohmmmmmmmlet.”
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
They egg-cellerated.
What do you call an egg that is on the computer too much?
An Egg Head.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg white.
What did the Spanish egg farmer say to his hens?
“Oh, lay (Ole)!”
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics!
Do you have an Egg Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.