40 Funny Eggnog Jokes And Puns To Crack You Up

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Jessica Amlee

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Eggnog is a traditional holiday beverage, often associated with the Christmas season. It’s a rich, creamy drink made from milk, cream, sugar, whipped eggs, and typically spiced with nutmeg or cinnamon. While it can be served non-alcoholic, many enjoy it with a splash of rum, brandy, or bourbon, adding a little extra warmth to the festive season. The origins of eggnog are a bit of a mystery, but it’s believed to have been derived from early medieval Britain’s “posset,” a hot, milky, ale-like drink. Today, it’s a staple in many holiday gatherings, symbolizing comfort, festivity, and the joys of indulging in seasonal treats.

Eggnog jokes, much like the drink itself, are a blend of sweet and spirited humor. They often revolve around the drink’s creamy consistency, its ability to bring cheer (and sometimes a bit too much cheer when spiked), or the love-it-or-hate-it reactions it elicits. These jokes are a light-hearted nod to the quirks of this traditional holiday beverage, shared among friends and family as they gather around the fireplace or the dinner table. With a mix of playful teasing and affectionate homage to the drink, eggnog jokes add an extra dollop of joy to the holiday merrymaking, reminding us to savor the fun and laughter of the season along with our favorite festive treats.

Best Eggnog Jokes

Why are Christian people boycotting eggnog this year?
They heard if you drink it, you become eggnostic.

Do you know that using a cinnamon stick to stir your eggnog isn’t a religious practice?
It’s egg-nog-stick.

Yo mama so dumb,she thought you got eggnog from an eggplant.

What did grandma say to the kid during the holidays?
“Don’t be chicken. Try the eggnog.”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Ed who?)
Ednog – Happy Holidays!

Why was the nutcracker worn out after 25th December?
It was eggs-hausted from rockin’ around the Christmas tree.

What do you call a person who doesn’t believe in Santa Clause?

Where do you find information about eggnog?
In the hen-cyclopedia!

Did you hear about the guy who had too much eggnog and ended up sleeping with a ghost?
He really got into the Christmas spirit.

Jack’s cousin shows up for Christmas dinner.
He said, “I brought some SERIOUS eggnog.”
Jack’s dad, “Do I need my satellite radio to drink it?”

Did you know Japan has its own line of Eggnog?
They export it from Nog-asaki.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Omelet who?)
Omeletting you know how much I love eggnog.

What is a chicken’s favorite drink?

A Christmas elf walks into a bar and orders an eggnog.
“What brings you to town?” the bartender asks.
“I’m taking music classes at the community college. Santa requires it of all the Christmas elves now,” the elf says. “It’s supposed to improve our rapping skills.”

Recommended: Elf Jokes

Getting into the Christmas spirit, Chris went out and bought some eggnog. As he was drinking it, his dad walked into the kitchen and started watching him drink it.

Dad: Dear god, that looks disgusting, how could you drink something that is made of an egg?
Chris: Have you had it?
Dad: No.
Dad: Well, you shouldn’t nog it till you try it.

Why doesn’t Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?
Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic.

What’s the fastest way to get eggnog to the party?
Use the eggs-press lane.

Eggnog goes to school for what reason?
To have an egg-u-cation.

How did the eggnog go down with the guests?
They were eggstatic.

What did Ebenezer Scrooge have to say about the eggnog?
“Bah, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Santa Claus and two reindeer walk into a bar and order eggnogs.
“Hello, Santa,” the bartender greets him. “Where are the other seven reindeer tonight?”
“Oh, that’s just a misunderstanding. I only actually have two reindeer,” Santa corrects him.
“Rudolph and Olive, the other reindeer.”

Recommended: Reindeer Jokes

Which farm animals are famous for their corny eggnog jokes?
The comedi-hens.

Why is eggnog so popular during the holidays?
You can’t egg-nore it because it’s everywhere.

How do you describe a delicious eggnog?

Why did the eggnog go to therapy?
It had too many ‘whisk’ issues!

How does eggnog answer the phone?
“Yellow, Merry Christmas!”

What do you call an adventurous eggnog?
An “Egg-plorer!”

Why was the eggnog invited to the Christmas party?
It was always the ‘toast’ of the town!

Why not play a prank on the eggnog?
It can’t take a yolk.

What is a fun thing to do with friends and family while drinking eggnog?

Recommended: Nutcracker Jokes

How did the eggnog drinker maintain her slim figure?
A lot of egg-exercise.

What’s eggnog’s favorite sport?

Why did the eggnog win the talent show?
It had a stirring performance!

How does eggnog keep its spirits up?
By staying on the ‘sunny side’!

Why was the eggnog afraid of the summer?
It didn’t want to get scrambled!

Have a better joke about Eggnog? Let us know your egg-cellent puns and one-liners in the comment box below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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