Jokes

80 Funny Easter Jokes for Egg-squisite Celebrations

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Jessica Amlee

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Even on a holy day like Easter, there are always a few laughs to be had. It’s a day to spend with your family and take nice photos (thanks to social media), all while contemplating the significance of the day. There are likely to be a few mistakes, incidents, and people to poke fun at when your family gathers for some of your favorite traditional or modern Easter traditions. It’s all good fun, after all! These funny Easter jokes cover everything from dyeing Easter eggs to eating a lot of chocolate to all the glitz and glam that comes with gathering the entire family. Even atheists might like some of these amusing Easter puns.

This year, Easter falls on Sunday, April 9th so if you’re looking for some of the funniest Easter memes, including Easter bunny jokes and puns, we’ve got you covered. Save these Eggcelent jokes to send on Easter Sunday morning, or share them now to get your friends and family in the holiday spirit. With any hope, they’ll repay the favor by sneaking you some extra Easter candy or Easter egg hunt hints.

Best Easter Jokes

Now before we start, we would like to tell you that we will not be going to do any jokes about Jesus.
He’s not the kind of guy you’d like to… Cross!


What’s the best thing about Joe Biden having dementia at Easter?
He can hide his own Easter eggs.


From where did the bunny get its hair done for Easter?
Obviously, from the “hare-stylist.”


Yo mama so fat, she came up for Thanksgiving and didn’t leave until Easter.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ethan.
(Ethan who?)
Ethan up all my Easter candy, can I get a refill?


Why did the Easter bunny like the bedtime story?
The story had a “hoppy” ending.


Why was the Easter bunny arrested for taking money from kids forcefully?
He was charged with eggstortion.


Did you hear about the kid who accidentally drank the water people used to color eggs for Easter?
Most think he dyed a little inside.


What is more East than East?
Easter.


In a little Texas town, there were three country churches: Presbyterian, Methodist, and Catholic.
Squirrels have taken over every church. The Presbyterian church organized a meeting one day to discuss what to do about the squirrels.
After much prayer and thought, they concluded that the squirrels were fated to remain there and that they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
The Methodists came to the conclusion that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creations.
So they trapped the squirrels humanely and released them a few miles outside of town. The squirrels reappeared three days later.
It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution:
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.


Which Greek God loved to collect animals?
Zoos.


What beer do you drink on Easter Sunday?
Rolling Rock.


Do you know what’s great about senility?
You can hide your own Easter eggs.


Yo mama so stupid, her parents let her hide her own Easter eggs.


What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Are there.
(Are there who?)
Are there more eggs for us to color?


Why do we break bread on Easter?
Because its yeaster.


Did you hear that the neighborhood couple made Chinese for Easter dinner?
If they had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.


Recommended: Dirty Easter Jokes


Three bad Catholics die and go to heaven. Saint Peter says to them “To get into heaven, you must pass a quiz first. What is Easter?”
The first Catholic steps up and says, “Easter is the holiday when a big fat man comes down your chimney and hands out presents.”
Saint Peter says, “No. That’s not right. That’s Christmas.”
The second Catholic says, “Of course, that’s Christmas. Everyone knows Easter is the day when children put on masks and go door to door saying ‘trick or treat’ and getting candy.”
Saint Peter says, “No. You’re thinking of Halloween. How have you all not heard of Easter? Do you know what Easter is?” he says, motioning to the third.
The final Catholic says, “I apologize for my friends. I know what Easter is. Easter is when our lord and savior Jesus Christ was crucified under Pontius Pilate for the forgiveness of our sins. He suffered, died, and was buried. They put his body in a tomb and rolled a big stone in front of it. On the third day, the disciples rolled the rock away, and they saw Jesus Christ had risen from the dead in fulfillment of the scriptures…”
“That’s an excellent answer!” St. Peter exclaimed.
“…and as he rose from the dead, Christ saw his shadow and we got six more weeks of winter.”


Why is business good on Easter?
Because prophets rise.


What do you call someone who isn’t sure if the Easter Bunny is real?
An Eggnostic.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Dora.
(Dora who?)
Dora whole bunch of eggs to decorate!


How do you make Easter easier in just one simple step?
Replace the T with an I.


What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?
“He is risen.”


Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.


A parishioner who only attends church on holidays is leaving church after Easter mass.
The preacher is standing at the door to shake hands. He grabs the parishioner by the hand and pulls him aside. “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” the pastor tells the parishioner.
The parishioner replies, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, pastor.”
The pastor questions, “Then how come I don’t see you in church except at Christmas and Easter?”
The parishioner whispers, “I’m in the secret service.”


How did the Easter Bunny end up in Santa’s sleigh?
It was Hoppenstance.


Recommended: Santa Claus Jokes


What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite drinking game?
Hop Scotch.


How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure?
Eggs (X) marks the spot.


What rapper celebrates Easter twice?
2Pâques.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Heidi.
(Heidi who?)
Heidi the eggs all over the yard.


How do you get out of a conversation with the Easter Bunny?
Well. You don’t want to egg him on; he’s a real basket case. Hop out of there.


Why did the Easter bunny fire the duck?
He kept quacking all the eggs.


Why did the Easter bunny bookmark Humornama.com?
Because it was “hopping” it would get to see more awesome jokes.


Why did the Easter bunny go crazy?
Because Easter didn’t go “egg-xactly” the way it was planned.


What is the head of the Easter Bunny association called?
Chareman.


Recommended: Passover Jokes


What type of seat does an Easter bunny prefer?
An arm chare.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Wendy.
(Wendy who?)
Wendy is the Easter Bunny arriving?


Who does the Easter Bunny admire the most among humans?
Eggheads.


How did the Easter bunny win the competition?
It outjumped them all.


Did you see Batman leaving Church early on Easter?
It was the first time someone had seen a Christian Bale.


What’s an Easter Bunny’s favorite dessert?
Egg tart.


A young boy was seen at the park, devouring a massive chocolate Easter bunny.
A passerby commented, “Hey little guy, eating that much chocolate isn’t good for you.”
The boy stared back and replied, “Well, my grandpa lived to be 103.”
The passerby asked, “Oh, did he eat a lot of chocolate too?”
The boy responded, “No, he just knew when to mind his own business.”


Easter is the day we defied the idiom “put all your eggs in one basket.”


Which team do Bunnies support?
Hibernian FC due to their stadium name Easter Road.


Which insect does the Easter Bunny envy?
Grasshopper.


Recommended: Good Friday Jokes


Why is Easter a favored holiday among Alzheimer’s patients?
They get to hide their own eggs.


Which profession can the Easter bunnies relate to?
The sHOPkeeper.


What did the man do when he ran over the Easter Bunny on road with his car?
He spayed all over it and surprisingly the bunny got up and hopped away. The spray label read “Hair Spray. Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.”


Why did the Easter eggs hate hearing jokes?
Since they always cracked up.


What do you call a flea-infested rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.


A young man saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.
He said to him, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.”
Arnold said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”


Why does the Easter Bunny hide its eggs?
It doesn’t want anyone to know it’s a chicken.


Recommended: Chicken Jokes


What do you call a weary Easter egg?
Eggs-austed.


What do you call a bunny who is mad?
A psycHOPath.


What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester.


How do you get out of a talk with an Easter Bunny?
Don’t egg him on; he’s a real basket case. Hop out of there.


What will happen if April Fool’s and Easter fall on the same day?
It already did, as it was also April fools’ Day on Easter when Jesus was resurrected.


Girl: Sorry for the late response. I was busy with some stuff on weekend.
Boy: It is ok. Although it’s a lot like Jesus. You disappeared on a Friday and came back on a Sunday.


What do bunnies do when they get hitched?
They wanna go to “Bunny-moon.”


What kind of jewelry do rabbits have on their bodies?
14 “carrot” gold chains.


What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite vegetable?
Egg-plant.


How do you send an email to the Easter bunny?
Through haremail.com.


Recommended: Jesus Jokes


What did the optimistic egg say?
“I like to look at life sunny-side up.”


Why doesn’t the Easter bunny wear a wig?
Because it is already 100% hare.


How does the Easter bunny text its friends?
With egg-mojis!


What do you get when crossing a rabbit with a mollusc?
The Oyster Bunny!


What does the Oyster bunny say when it is glad?
“I am as hoppy as a clam.”


When your dog prepares your breakfast on Easter, what do you get?
Pooched Eggs.


How did the Easter bunny make the snowman mad?
It ate his nose.


What do you get when you mix Halloween with Easter?
Chick or treat.


What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter?
Egg-xausted.


Why did the Easter bunny go to the gym?
He wanted to ‘egg-xercise.’


What did the washer & dryer do in the 40 days before Easter?
Lint.


Recommended: Lent Jokes


Why is Easter so popular in France?
Because it’s a bonne idée.


The Easter Bunny eggsplained that he had the eggseptionally eggstrordinary eggs eggspedited to your eggsact location to meet your high eggspectation.


Why can’t Jesus walk on water?
He has holes in his feet.


My parents used to fill my brain with rubbish like Santa, the Easter bunny, and the Tooth Fairy when I was a youngster.
Thanks to god, now that I’m older, I don’t fall for such nonsense.


Why is the Easter Bunny the world’s poorest animal?
It needs to hide its eggs, carry its tail behind, and can only come once a year.


Why do we color Easter eggs?
Because Jesus dyed for your sins.


Find the odd one out among the tooth fairy, Bill Cosby, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny?
The Easter bunny, of course, the rest only come when you are sleeping.


Hope you like these jokes on Easter. Do let us know in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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