45 Funny FIFA Jokes to Keep You Laughing Past Extra Time

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Jessica Amlee

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FIFA, or the International Federation of Association Football, is the big boss of international soccer, responsible for the World Cup and making sure that football fans have something to argue about every four years. It’s like the superhero of sports organizations, minus the cape and the ability to fly, but with the power to unite countries in the universal language of soccer. FIFA’s influence stretches from the sun-baked pitches of Brazil to the icy fields of Iceland, ensuring that anywhere you find a ball, there’s probably a FIFA rule about it. Every decision, from what counts as offside to how long a player can celebrate a goal without looking silly, comes from the high and mighty FIFA. And while FIFA takes its job seriously, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it. That’s where FIFA jokes come in.

FIFA jokes are like that cheeky player who always manages to sneak in a goal when no one’s looking. They’re a way to poke fun at the quirks and peculiarities of this global football giant. From the sometimes bizarre rules to the dramatic on-field performances worthy of an Oscar, FIFA provides endless material for a good chuckle. Imagine if FIFA decided to implement a rule where players have to hop on one foot after scoring – it sounds ridiculous, but hey, in the world of FIFA, anything’s possible! These jokes are not just about laughing at the referees’ often questionable eyesight or the players’ elaborate goal dances; they’re about enjoying the lighter side of the beautiful game. So, while FIFA continues to dictate the laws of the game, let’s take a moment to enjoy the humorous side of soccer, where the only red card is for not having a sense of humor.

Best FIFA Jokes

What is the full form of FIFA?
Failing In Football Administering.

What does Jack Grealish look-alike in FIFA 23?
Sid from Toy Story.

Infantino: Today, I feel Qatari. Today, I feel Arab. Today, I feel African. Today, I feel gay. Today, I feel disabled.
Assistant: Sir, can you please stop touching up all the fans?

Is your dad 86+ rated?
Because he walked out.

Why didn’t the FIFA player cross the road?
He would have been offside.

Why are bus drivers bad FIFA players?
They always park the bus.

What was the reason the skeleton didn’t play FIFA?
His heart wasn’t in it.

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They operate in the dark.

Why did the FIFA gamer always get out last in class?
Injury time.

Why did FIFA have surgery?
They had to remove their Blatter.

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Why are Girls like FIFA?
Because boys finesse it from 16.

What are some funny moments while playing FIFA?
Losing 3-0, sits forward = I’m going to start playing now!
Wipes out an opponent = Ref, how is that a foul?!
Does a rubbish pass = I obviously didn’t mean to pass there!
A certain player scores against you – He is so overrated.
Misses an easy chance – So much lag!
Someone walks into the room when you conceded = That was your fault.
Watch a replay showing you are clearly offside = How is that offside?!
Concedes after a pass across the box = Sweaty goal!
Losing 5-0, no shots on target yet = So lucky, I’m all over him!
Lose against your mate = Knew my controller was broken!
Your mate chooses a good team = You can be anyone… but them!
Someone calls you and you’ve just started a match = It’ll be 2 minutes!
Opponent scores and watches every replay = Press start already!
Bring on a sub and he scores = I am the special one!
Concede a goal in an important match = I’m selling this game tomorrow!
Can’t connect to EA servers = EA you (any swear word)!

What is the similarity between Olivier Giroud’s PAC and FIFA servers?
Both are slow.

What is the funniest FIFA pick up line?
Show me your tots.

What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?
Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.

Recommended: Soccer World Cup Jokes

What do you call a boat full of polite FIFA streamers?
A good sportsman ship!

Son: Dad, why is my sister’s name Rose?
Father: Because your mom loves roses.
Son: What about me?
Father: It’s a long story, FIFA World Cup™ Qatar 2022.

Why do creationists prefer FIFA to PES?
Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.

What do database engineers, carpenters, and FIFA have in common?
They all fix tables.

The Fifa president, Secretary General, and communications director are in a car. Who is driving?
The Police.

Why does FIFA never coincide the World Cup with the summer olympics?
Because all the players are on the diving team.

What do you call a FIFA whistleblower?
A referee.

Where do FIFA gamers dance?
At the foot-ball.

How realistic is FIFA 23?
FIFA 23 is so real that when you use Suarez as a Pro, you bite players instead of tackling them.
FIFA 23 is so real that if you use Terry as Pro, you can go out with other players’ wives.
FIFA 23 is so real that if win the EPL with Man Utd, the screen turns black and white.
FIFA 23 is so real that when you play with Mbappe the pass button doesn’t work.
FIFA 23 is so real that whenever Man City plays, Haaland scores a hattrick.

What makes Bruno Mars an ideal candidate to appear on FIFA?
Since he is dripping with finesse.

What did the gaming reporter say about the new FIFA updates?
“They’re howlers!”

What happened to the guy who was playing FIFA and smashed his keyboard when he lost?
They committed dangerous play.

Have you heard about the latest FIFA scandal?
Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records.

What is the newest feature in FIFA 23?
There is a possibility of a game being delayed by 15 minutes because of hooligans with flares.

What do you call when FIFA gets caught taking bribes?
What a kick in the balls.

A wife and her husband had a late-night argument.
She says to her husband, “Choose, it’s either me or your FIFA 23.”
The husband calmly replies, “Give me 90 minutes to think.”

Why did the gamer play so FIFA matches after his breakup?
He needed to console himself.

Why should bad FIFA gamers play with garbage men?
They’re used to carrying trash.

What do you call a friend that doesn’t let you play FIFA?
A control freak.

Why was the FIFA gamer upset on their birthday?
They got a red card.

Why do FIFA gamers do well in school?
They know how to use their heads.

What tea do FIFA streamers drink?

What do you call a Frenchman playing FIFA on a Nintendo Console?
Thierry on Wii.

Why didn’t your pet dog want to play FIFA?
Because he was a boxer.

Why did the FIFA steamer bring string to the game?
So he could tie the score.

Why does some hate playing FIFA with Satan?
No matter what skills they use, he always has possession.

FIFA recently announced that, in fact, Gaius Julius Caesar, not Pelé nor Diego Maradona nor Lionel Messi nor Ronaldo, is the Greatest Footballer of All Time.
Because Caesar scored Gauls left and right back in his days.

What do you get when you remove 99 from 100?
Pique’s pace on FIFA 23.

Recommended: Barcelona Jokes

How do FIFA 23 streamers stay cool during an online match?
They stand near the fans.

Why don’t fish play the FIFA game?
They’re scared of nets.

Why did the FIFA gamer quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?
The FIFA headquarters.

Have a better joke about FIFA? Let us know your puns and one-liners in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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