30 Funny Manchester City Jokes for the Season 2023-24

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Jessica Amlee


Manchester City Football Club, often referred to as Man City, is an English Premier League giant, founded in 1880. With its roots in Manchester, the club has secured multiple Premier League titles, especially after its acquisition by the Abu Dhabi United Group in 2008, transforming them into a football powerhouse. On the flip side, their rapid ascent and influx of investment have been a frequent target for banter.

Last season? They put on an absolute firework show! After clinching the Treble, it’s like they’ve completed the entire club football video game on Expert mode but what’s on their agenda now? Oh, just setting their sights on that shiny Premier League trophy for the fourth consecutive time. Who’s achieved that in England? No one… yet. If they do it, good for them but if they fail, then their rivals are coming in for some fun.

There’s a peculiar charm associated with football banter and jokes, and Man City, despite its commendable rise, isn’t exempt from being the butt of many of them. For decades, before the influx of significant investment, the club was often overshadowed by its illustrious neighbour, Manchester United. Some fans from rival teams revel in the opportunity to poke fun at City’s low attendance, and earlier years of struggle, contrasting them with their recent dominance.

Best Manchester City Jokes

What’s the difference between Google Chrome and Manchester City?
Chrome has history.

Manchester City submitted plans to Manchester City Council for a £300m expansion that would increase the Etihad Stadium capacity to 60000.
People are in favour, there are not many places you can go with the family in Manchester to enjoy the peace and quiet nowadays.

Why Man City is football’s equivalent of feminism?
Their attack is so relentless that no-one has a chance to test their defence.

Did you know that last season, Haaland scored 35 premier league goals for Man City?
That’s one for every season ticket holder.

What does Guardiola do with the Manchester City team during half time?
He gives a Pep talk.

What’s the best Man City joke?
Guardiola’s tactics in an important European game.

Why did the Manchester City player become a comedian?
Because they already had the best defense in the league, so they figured they might as well work on their timing!

Why does Man City have no fans?
Because all the kids were told not to go near the Maine Road.

What’s Manchester City’s secret to success?
A magic lamp hidden in the boardroom that grants unlimited transfer wishes!

Why is Manchester City’s stadium called “Emptihad”?
Because their fans are so dedicated to social distancing, they’ve taken it to a whole new level!

A man walks into a pub with a crocodile under his arm.
“Do you serve Man City fans here?” He asks.
“Certainly sir, no problem at all,” replies the barman, nervously looking at the crocodile.
“Ok,” says the man, “a pint of lager for me and a Man City fan for the crocodile.”

Recommended: Manchester United Jokes

Did you hear that Man City is getting a huge extension to the Etihad?
That’s good, after all, there are not many places you can go with the family in Manchester to enjoy the peace and quiet nowadays.

Man City had suspended Benjamin Mendy following allegations of rape.
Prince Andrew has suggested he do a TV interview to clear up the whole thing.

A football fan was talking to his Man United supporting mate about their worst ever moments.
“Remember that time Denis Law scored a backheel for Man City that relegated you lot?” he said
“No,” he replied.
“Neither does he!”

What’s the difference between Ed Sheeran and Man City?
Ed Sheeran’s fans go and watch him play.

Why it must be hard for Manchester City at the Etihad?
Those fake crowd noises must be very unsettling for the players.

What’s the difference between Princess Diana and Manchester City?
City did well after the Arabs pumped everything they owned into them.

Have you heard about the Court of Arbitration for Sport?
It is sponsored by Manchester City.

Have a better Manchester City joke? Post your own Man City puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

2 thoughts on “30 Funny Manchester City Jokes for the Season 2023-24”

  1. I’m at the Man city match and just found a note in my coat pocket telling me my life revolves around football and when I get back she’ll be gone.
    I’m devastated, I don’t know what she means we’ve been together for 10 seasons.


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