80 Football World Cup 2022 Jokes To Cheer Soccer Fans

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Jessica Amlee

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The Earth’s most popular sports tournament, Football World Cup promises great entertainment and so are the jokes and memes. It was played in Qatar from November 20 to December 18 in 2022. If you are someone who looks at things on a lighter note then this FIFA tournament was for you.

Each day after 2 December 2010, the largest football competition has come under scrutiny and criticism. It started with serious allegations of bribery made against FIFA which were later proved with the arrests of many senior FIFA officials in Zurich, Switzerland. Then there were difficulties and interpretations of human rights, particularly workplace conditions and the rights of LGBT fans because homosexuality is prohibited in Qatar.

The playing conditions in Qatar were equally unfavorable. The Middle East is one of the world’s most humid areas, and footballers will struggle to cope with the heat. As a result, the tournament dates had been shifted from June – July to November – December, affecting leagues throughout the qualified nations.

Moreover, there is zero tolerance for public drinking, and being drunk in public is a crime. Only over 21-year-olds can purchase alcohol from licensed hotel restaurants and bars. During the tournament, it has been alleged that the referees favored the Argentina team by awarding them five penalties which has been the most of any World Cup edition since 1966. Clearly, this World Cup was a butt of jokes.

Funny Qatar World Cup Jokes

What is the difference between WWE and this FIFA WC?
Nothing, both are scripted.

Why isn’t the Argentina football team allowed to own a dog?
Because they can’t hold on to a lead.

The world cup final going on!
France player to referee: Would you send me off if I said you were a useless cheat?
Referee: Yes.
France player: But you couldn’t send me off for thinking it?
Referee: No.
France player: Right then, I think you’re a useless cheat.

How did France win the last world Cup?
They had the ‘anti-itch’ cream in finals.

Argentina! When playing France in the World cup on Sunday, don’t defend as you did in the Falklands.
And France, for f*cks sake don’t defend as you did in 1940.

Do you know why some girls are not watching the World Cup?
They say, “If I want to see a bunch of guys struggle to score for 90 minutes, I just go to my local bar.”

How much does it cost a small middle eastern country to host the World Cup?
A Qatar of a trillion.

Who are the pirates’ rooting for in the World Cup final?

Did you hear that the US got knocked out of the World Cup on day 13?
It’s their fastest exit from the middle east!

Why is club RB Leipzig angry with Messi?
He just halved Gvardiol’s market value and made him affordable.

Did you hear about the Englishman who bet his savings on England winning even though his wife said she would never see him again if he lost?
Looks like it’s not just football that’s not coming home.

What is so crazy about France vs Morocco?
It is the first-ever all-African World Cup semifinal.

What is the difference between you and the Croatian goalkeeper?
The Croatian goalkeeper can actually save your relationship.

What did Gianni Infantino say on No World cup game day?
“Today I feel Italian.”

Heard about Luis Enrique’s confession after his team’s defeat in the Round of 16?
His players watched Lionel Messi’s penalties before the penalty shootout.

What did Cristiano Ronaldo say after seeing he’s on the bench most of the time?
“I’m going to tell Piers Morgan.”

Do you know that Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times?”
Luis Enrique’s Spain just said, “Hold my beer.”

Why were the Qatar stadiums’ cleaning staff sad?
Japan went out in the Round of 16.

Did you see the Round of 16 match between Brazil and South Korea?
Brazil used South Korea for dancing lessons in the first half.

What is Guillermo Ochoa to World Cup?
Whatever Mariah Carey is to Christmas.

What’s worse than Lukaku missing 3 sitters in one half?
The face he makes afterward.

Did you hear about the match between Iran and USA?
It will be the first time the US is fighting in the Middle East without looking for oil.

What does South Korea’s back line look like?
Kanye’s recent calls after a night out.

Have you heard about the fans who have finally prepared their house to get into the World Cup spirit?
They locked up some immigrants in their basement and took their passports away until it’s fully refurbished to watch the games.

Who is the first to exit the 2022 World Cup?

Have you heard that USA’s shooting has improved in this World Cup?
Rumour has it that they practiced by placing photos of small school children in the top corners.

What is the latest score from the Qatar World Cup?
Bangladesh 2,500
India 1,200
Sri Lanka 1,150
Nepal 800
Pakistan 650
Qatar 0

What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and gli Azzurri?
You’ve got more chances of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals!

What did the man say after placing a big bet on his favorite African nation to win the World Cup?
“I think they are Ghana do really well.”

What did Wales say after being dumped out of World Cup?
“I didn’t just walk out of the World Cup, Iran.”

Have you heard about McDonald’s new World Cup-themed burger?
It’s called, “The Qatar pounder.”

What is all this talk of the Christmas Day World Cup final in Qatar?
It seems like they have managed to bribe Santa as well.

Why will Senegal not win the WC?
Their mane player is not fit.

Why are Qatar officials are set to postpone the WC match?
Rainbows are expected in case of rain.

What’s a worse idea than a football world cup in Qatar?
European Super League.

Have you heard about Iran’s national football team?
They’re Shi’ite.

What do you call a group of teams from Iran, The US, and England?
A peace treaty.

The England team visited an orphanage in Qatar just before the World Cup.
“It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Hassan, age 6.

How did Canada qualify for the World Cup?
Their parents couldn’t afford hockey equipment growing up.

Why will the 2022 world cup in Qatar be so cold?
No Chile in it.

What did the Saudi man say to celebrate their unlikely World Cup victory?
Great execution.

Why is the Football World Cup final similar to cows in an airplane?
The steaks have never been higher.

Did you hear that organizers in Qatar proposing tents in the desert for football fans visiting the country?
They didn’t learn anything from Harry Potter camping at a World Cup.

Do you know why non of the Asi*n teams can win the Qatar World Cup?
Every time a player gets a corner, he builds a shop.

What can you say about the Poland squad for the World Cup?
One of them is surely going to be your WiFi password.

How hot is it?
It’s hotter than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

Why Lionel isn’t popular with his teammates?
He tends to leave the locker room a little Messi.

What do you call a Scotsman holding the World Cup?
An engraver.

What happens when Uruguay gets eliminated from the world cup?
Luis Suarez will offer to take the other team out for a bite.

What do you call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a World Cup?
A waiter.

Recommended: FIFA Jokes

At the World Cup final, a man takes his seat. He glances around and discovers a vacant seat between himself and the next guy.
“Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” says the man.
“Well, that was my wife’s seat,” the man responds. “We attended the last five World Cup finals together, but regrettably, she died.”
“That’s horrible,” the man responds, “but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?”
The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”

Who is the slipperiest footballer in the FIFA World Cup?
Antoine Grease-man.

Why are people blaming FIFA for awarding Qatar the 2022 World Cup due to extreme heat?
You shouldn’t be worried about it because of the fans.

How come the aftermath of the World Cup in Qatar will be a bad thing?
When it’s over, they’ll have some great stadiums to behead women in.

Why should you appreciate the hard work and enthusiasm of the workers getting Qatar ready for the World Cup?
They’re dying to get the job done.

So Qatar 2022 is going to be held in November and December.
Or for England, November.

Brazil just finished playing Serbia in the World Cup, a little fan runs up to Neymar after the match waving a piece of paper to get an autograph.
Neymar says, “Sure, do you have a pen?”
The kid replies, “I’ll get one,” and throws himself on the ground and starts rolling around, holding his knee and crying.
Neymar says, “You said you were getting a pen.”
“Well, it works for you,” replied the kid.

Where’s the best place in the US to shop for a WC soccer kit?
New Jersey!

What do you think about the chances of Saudi Arabia in the upcoming World Cup?
It seems they will surely beheading out of the World Cup.

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An alcoholic US Soccer fan wakes up in Qatar prison.
He asks the first police officer he sees, “Why am I here?”
“For drinking,” replies the officer.
“Great,” says the fan, “When do we start?”

What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2022?
The Italian National Team.

Why is Spain so good in FIFA and UEFA Euro tournaments?
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

What problems gay fans could face in Qatar World Cup?
“I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities.” – Sepp Blatter

Did you hear that Messi and Ronaldo will finally meet each other during the Qatar World Cup?
At Doha International Airport, as they return to their respective home countries.

Two friends decide that they are gonna have the dish as per the World Cup schedule.
Mexico was on, they had burritos.
Japan was on, they had sushi.
USA was on, they had burgers.
Spain was on, they had Paella.
Next is England, so they’re going out.

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup?
Turn off the Playstation.

What do you call an English man at a world cup final?
A referee.

Which country has scored the most world cup goals?
The mongoals.

What philosopher won Greece the world cup?

Who’s the most dangerous footballer in Qatar World Cup?
Eden Hazard!

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During the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, a Frenchman, an Argentine, and a Brazilian were all seen drinking in public.
But because that is illegal in the country, they were apprehended and taken to court.
The judge stated that because the country was rejoicing, they would accept only 20 lashes, with the ability to make a wish to avoid the sentence.
The judge said to the Frenchman, “Ah, France, your country is so rude and narcissistic, and I despise you, but as promised, you will be entitled to a desire, what do you want?”
He replied, “I’d like to have a pillow tied behind my back. “
Done. They bound the pillow, and after eight lashes, it gave way.
The judge then mentioned the Argentine. “Argentina is a nasty country, but a promise is a promise, so what do you want?”
“I want two pillows tied behind my back,” he said.
The pillows were tied, and after 13 lashes, they gave way.
Finally, the court turned to the Brazilian “Oh, Brazil, what a magnificent country with samba, football, and gorgeous women. You will be granted two wishes. Tell me?”
“I want 200 lashes,” he said.
“Brave, and what’s the second?” the shocked judge asked.
“Tie the Argentine behind my back,” the Brazillian responded.

Why are some rooting for Switzerland and Denmark in the World Cup?
They don’t know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

What is a World Cup without Italy?
Pizza without cheese.

Why do some people not watch World Cup?
If they wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes they’d go to a bar.

Who did the Saudis beat in order to qualify for the World Cup?
Their wives.

How is making love with your wife similar to the England World Cup squad?
Neither of you knows why you’re there or what you’re doing, there’s little passion or communication and you rarely even make it past the first stage. It’s often accompanied by lots of unnecessary noise, horrible dribbling, and never a clean sheet. It’s always over far too quickly and when it does end, you know it’ll be at least another 4 years before it happens again.

What will be the sad thing about Brazil being out of the world cup?
Neymar’s jokes will stop rolling.

Why didn’t Scotland qualify for World Cup?
Their players can’t drink for 3 weeks.

Do you want to hear 26 England jokes?
But they’re not back from Qatar as yet!

Which team do horses support in FIFA World Cup?
Brazil because of NEIGH-mar!

Which team do sheep support in FIFA World Cup?
Paul PogBAAA!

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A family was watching the Germany-Japan game in WC. At some point, one of the Germans tries to score but misses.
Daughter: Damn, that was close.
Dad: No, that was Müller, Klose has retired.

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs?

What is the official mascot of Qatar WC?
Ghosts of dead workers.

Did you hear about the 100-year-old soccer player at the World Cup?
He’s still alive and kicking.

How do Soccer World Cup players stay cool during a game?
They stand near the fans!

What lights up a pitch at night?
World Cup Football match.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch the FIFA World Cup?
They watch cricket instead.

What do you call a Canadian player in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A referee!

Why did Shakira leave Pique and La Roja dropped him?
Due to his stamina mina, eh eh!

Have a better joke on Football Word Cup in Qatar? Post your funny puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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