No Nut November is that time of year when brave souls across the internet decide to test their willpower by avoiding any kind of “nutting” for thirty long days. It’s like a weird fitness challenge, but instead of building muscle, participants are building self-control. And probably a few emotional scars along the way. Friends cheer, memes fly, and every scroll online feels like a battle of temptation versus pride.
As the days crawl by, the internet becomes a comedy goldmine. People start sharing their struggles, victories, and breakdowns in the most dramatic ways possible. That’s where No Nut November jokes come in, turning frustration into laughter. It’s the season when the world collectively suffers, laughs about it, and counts down the days until December like it’s the ultimate holiday of freedom.
Best NNN Jokes
What’s NNN?
Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you!
After No Nut November, a man decided to first shave his pubes and then m*sturbate.
He was done beating around the bush.
What happens when you fail at No Nut November?
Nuttin’.
When do squirrels fast?
During no nut November.
Hosting a party to raise awareness for No Nut November
You can’t come.
Johnny already failed No Nut November
He failed the first time at 1:37am, and the second time at 1:11am.
Why do guys become d*cks in No Nut November?
Because if you can’t beat them, join them!
“No Nut November challenge is not gonna be a problem at all.”
“It’s not hard at my age…” said the old man.
What are you doing after November?
Nuttin’ much.
Wife: “What does that NNN mean?”
Husband: “Nothin new November, my love.”
Recommended: NNN Memes
Did you hear that Jesus failed NNN?
People keep on saying that he’s coming.
Challenge: No Nut November Accomplished.
New Foreskin Unlocked.
Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?
It is probably the most anticlimactic month.
A few days ago everybody was talking about NNN,
It just didn’t seem that climactic!
What do you call no-nut-November for m@ssochists?
Near-nut-November.
Why is Krispy Kreme against NNN?
They’re full of Donuts.
Once upon a time in a quaint little town, there lived a young boy named Timmy who was known far and wide for his adventurous spirit. However, there was one adventure Timmy was yet to embark upon – tasting the legendary peanut, a nut rumored to hold the power of unleashing waves of laughter, but at a perilous cost.
Now, the town had a peculiar tradition known as No Nut November, a time when not a single nut was to be consumed. But Timmy’s curiosity got the better of him, and against the town’s tradition, he bravely decided to taste a peanut on the first of November. As he took a bite, the town gasped, watching him as his face turned as red as a ripe tomato, gasping for breath!
It was a close shave, but Timmy recovered with the town’s quick action. The next day, the headline in the local paper read, “Local boy nearly meets nutty demise; takes No Nut November to a whole new level!”
Have you seen these No Nut November memes?
They’re really getting out of hand.
An oath keeper took NNN to the next level,
He hasn’t nutted all year!
What would be the female equivalent of No Nut November?
Get your alliteration skills on people. So far I’ve come up with D*ldo Denial December or Forbidden Fingering February.
Who will survive No Nut November the longest?
The people with a severe nut allergy.
Why is it difficult to follow NNN?
Well, it gets increasingly ‘hard’ as the days pass by.
It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.
“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate doesn’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket! Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”
With seemingly impossible odds, this is a good way to net a nice profit!
One day, a blonde shows up to make a bet. She places her $69 on the table and bets that the candidate won’t nut after the event starts then leaves. The manager, having no clue if or when the man will nut, registers her bet.
When the blonde returns on December 24th to claim the prize, she heads up back to the table to talk to the manager, who is completely clueless about why she decided to return that late, replies to the blonde, “No Nut November has long been over. Why did it take you this long for you to attempt to claim your prize?”
The blonde said, “Because I put my bet on Santa Claus.”
The manager asked, “Why did you bet on Santa?”
The blonde replies, “With that enormous sack of his, clearly he only comes once a year.”
What did King Arthur say when his wife asked if he failed No Nut November?
“Yeah, I Camelot!”
If November is ‘No Nut’ November, what does that make December?
The cumming month.
What did Freddie Mercury say when he was informed about NNN?
“Nutting really matters to me.”
Recommended: Best November Jokes
Why are people going on about no nut November?
It’s like any other month if you are married.
Have you ever watched a “No Nut November” themed midget p*rn?
There isn’t a single shortcoming.
Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?
Because it’s No Nut November.
Once, in a bustling city, there lived a curious gardener named Betty who had a peculiar fondness for pistachios. As November approached, she heard whispers about a strange tradition called No Nut November. Intrigued and a bit rebellious, Betty decided that she would not adhere to such nutty traditions, and on a fine November morning, she picked a plump pistachio from her garden.
With a heart full of anticipation and a shell cracker in hand, she cracked open the shell, only to find it empty! Astonished, she burst into laughter realizing that even Mother Nature had a sense of humor, participating in No Nut November in her own whimsical way!
Why can’t you beat No Nut November?
Cause if you beat it you lose.
What is another name for NNN?
Virgin Pride Month.
What is a squirrel’s least favorite time of year?
No Nut November.
How do crypto traders call No Nut November?
HODL it.
Failed NNN on 4th Day of November.
Gave in to my temptations and had few almonds yesterday.
How to finish NNN?
Watch some Amy Schumer.
What happens if a soldier fails No Nut November because of a wet dream instead of masturbation?
They are honorably discharged.
Recommended: December Jokes
Why does the snow come in December?
Because no nut November just ended.
Rose’s are red,
Nothing lasts forever,
You’re the reason. I lost No Nut November.
What was lost inside the Thanksgiving turkey?
My 24 day NNN streak.
Why is November a hard time for Indian pedophiles?
They are stuck in a dilemma between celebrating No Nut November and Children’s Day.
Santa most definitely passed No Nut November.
He only comes in December.
How do optimists see NNN?
Nonstop Nut November.
Why was Mr. Planters depressed?
It was No Nut November.
Why is No Nut November like N@zi?
People who claim to follow it actually didn’t follow it!
What’s the best part about being castrated?
You can win both No Nut November and Destroy D*ck December.
9/11 is like the NNN for dark comedians.
It’s so hard not to ej@cul@te.
Do you have a dirty No Nut November joke? Write down your own adult puns in the comment section below!
I’ve already failed No Nut November
I failed the first time at 1:37am, and the second time at 1:11am.
I already failed my No Nut November,
I just had a Pina Colada.