Pakistan sits at a busy crossroads of history, where mountains guard old trade routes and city streets buzz with every kind of chaos you can think of. Daily life moves with its own rhythm, and people handle surprises with a mix of confidence and quick wit. Even in explosive moments, someone always finds a way to lighten the mood with a clever remark.
That same spirit shapes Pakistani jokes, which often spring from everyday struggles, friendly rivalries, and the wild adventures that come from living in a place where plans rarely go as expected. These jokes travel fast (especially in India), told at tea stalls, passed around at family gatherings, and repeated by anyone who enjoys a good laugh. It’s storytelling that turns ordinary moments into something worth sharing.
Best Pakistani Jokes
What do you call a man from Pakistan who’s been everywhere and done everything?
Bindair Dundat.
What is the national bird of Pakistan?
An American drone.
How did I get from Iraq to Pakistan?
Iran.
What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?
A moo-slim.
It’s been more than 15 years since the US Navy SEALs took out 0s@ma Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
When it comes to corruption in countries, Nigeria takes first place, and Pakistan comes in second.
Have a feeling that Pakistan bribed Nigeria to take first place.
A Maths problem asked in Pakistani schools.
Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.
Two beggars set up on the sidewalk in front of New Delhi’s international airport.
One of the beggars, an Indian man, sees the other beggar and says, “Hello, I’ve never seen you here before. May I ask where you’re from?”
“I am from Pakistan”, said the man. “I’m visiting some friends here, and I am returning home by plane later tonight.”
“Is that so?” said the Indian man. “I know our two countries have had their differences recently, but I can assure you I have nothing against you, and wish you a safe journey.”
Both men had with them a cardboard sign and a basket for their donations.
“I’ll give you some advice,” said the Indian man, “You have to be creative with the wording on your sign. You have to appeal to people’s emotions. Here I’ll show you what mine says:”
The Indian man’s sign read: ‘RECENTLY UNEMPLOYED, IN HUGE DEBT, SUPPORTING DISABLED WIFE AND THREE CHILDREN’.
“Thank you for the advice,” said the Pakistani man. “I do have a similar sign.”
At the end of the day, the Indian man looked at his basket of donations. He counted 1,700 Rupees (20 US Dollars). He said to the Pakistani man: “This is a decent day’s takings. How well did you do?”
The Pakistani man showed him his overflowing basket, which contained over 100,000 Rupees (1,200 US Dollars).
Looking astonished, the Indian man exclaimed: “What on earth did you put on your sign?”
The Pakistani man held up his sign, which read: “JUST NEED ANOTHER 1,000 RUPEES TO GET BACK TO PAKISTAN.”
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Two women were imprisoned for 30 years in the same cell for terr0rism.
On the day of their release from jail, one woman said to the other, “Baki baatain phir phone pr”
What’s 8 miles long and has a combined IQ of 56?
A parade in Pakistan.
Someone got 25 years in prison for saying Asim Munir was an idiot.
5 years for insulting the leader and 20 years for revealing state secret.
A Swiss, an Afghan, and a Pakistani are standing beside a lake.
The Swiss throws a watch into the water, “We have plenty of these in our country.”
Afghani throws his hat into the water, “We weave many of these in our country.”
The Pakistani pushes the afghani into the water, “We have plenty of them in our country.”
A Pakistani walks into a bar.
He asked the people for a loan…
Apparently, Indian fighter jets dropped 1000 onion bhajis on Pakistan this afternoon.
A spokesperson said, “That’s just for starters.”
Why are there no Walmart in Pakistan?
Because there’s a Target on every corner.
An Indian got a seat between two Pakistanis on a plane. Relaxing, he took his shoes off.
Soon enough, he got hungry.
“Hey, I’m going to get myself a snack. You guys want anything?” He asked the Pakistanis.
The man to his right said he would like a Coke.
“Of course,” said the Indian.
“After all, Indians and Pakistanis are Brothers!”
When the Indian went to get the coke, the man who asked for the Coke spit in one of his shoes.
Once the Indian came back, the guy to his left asked him for another Coke. He happily obliged. While he was gone, the man spit in his other shoe.
Soon enough, the Indian returned, with the Coke, of course. After everyone had settled down, and the Pakistanis had had half their Cokes, the Indian put his legs in his shoes and sighed.
“How long will we keep doing this, brothers? Spitting in each others shoes, pi$$ing in each others Cokes?”
What do you call a French pr*stitute in Pakistan?
LAHORE.
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Another explosion was heard in the capital of Pakistan.
Things have gone from Islamabad to Islamaworse…
Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan
Authorities fear it was the work of a s*icide plumber.
In 2001, General Pervez Musharraf called President Bush in the morning.
And says, “I’m sorry to hear about the terr0rist attacks in New York. I wanted to be the first one to call and show my support to America.”
After a pause, Bush replies, “What attack? I have no news of such attacks yet.”
A dramatic silence prevails
After a while, Bush hears a voice on the phone that sounds like someone shouting, “Sh*t, I forgot about the time difference.”
India and Pakistan calling each other out.
Kashmir Outside.
What do you call a Pakistani chef in Japanese?
Khan-sama.
What healthcare program is offered to the citizens of Pakistan?
OsamaCare… It’s the b0mb.
Pakistan is such a weird country…
It’s a Muslim country, but its capital is Islamabad?!
Can we stop calling Pakistan a conservative nation?
Last time when I was there, I found a lot of “open-minded” people.
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive, the two fathers make a bet to see, in a years time, which family has become more Americanized.
A year later, they meet again. The first man says, “My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonald’s, and I’m on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light.
How about you?”
The second man replies, “Go back to your sand country, towel head.”
What is the official car of Pakistan?
Islamborghini.
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Fluffy camels are evil in Pakistan’s capital. I know what your asking…
Is llama bad?
What do they call mosquitoes in Pakistan?
Churchitoes.
Where does a g@y in Pakistan live?
Cemetery.
An Afghan escaping from the Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border.
He is immediately stopped by Pakistani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he’s the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
Pakistani border officer, “But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?”
Afghan says, “Don’t you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?”
What do they call Adele in Pakistan?
Infadele!
Pakistan and PUBG have one thing in common other than P.
Only the Best Shooter Survives.
What do u call an ab*rtion center in Pakistan?
B0mb defusal squad.
What do you call an alliance where Indian and Pakistani chefs collaborate to make the best bread?
A naan zero-sum game.
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A Pakistani soldier who had just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a three-day pass. The CO said, “Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani Army, and you already want a three-day pass? You’ll need to do something spectacular to earn that!”
The next day, the soldier returned, driving an Indian tank. Impressed, the CO asked, “How on earth did you manage that?”
The soldier replied, “Well, I jumped into a tank and headed toward the Indian border. I saw an Indian tank, so I raised a white flag. The Indian tank raised a white flag too. I asked the Indian soldier, ‘Do you want a three-day pass?’ So we exchanged tanks!”
Why doesn’t Pakistan have an Olympic medal in shooting?
Because all of their shooters are on the frontline.
What do you call a Fleshlight in Pakistan?
A goat.
What language do Pakistani cows speak?
Herdu.
Do you have a funny Pakistani Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
