Parrots are the loudmouths of the bird world. They are colorful, talkative, and never shy about sharing their opinions. If you’ve ever met one, you know they don’t just repeat words; they perform full-blown comedy shows with feathers and flair. With their bright eyes and even brighter attitudes, parrots can turn a quiet room into a chatterbox party faster than you can say “cracker.” They’re basically nature’s comedians with wings.
Parrot jokes, on the other hand, take that same noisy charm and turn it into pure laughter. These jokes play on the bird’s sassy personality, endless chatter, and knack for saying things no one expects. Reading or hearing them feels like sitting front row at a comedy club hosted by a feathery prankster. If you’ve ever wondered what happens when humor takes flight, parrot jokes are the punchline!
Best Parrot Jokes
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why can’t you take Tylenol to the jungle?
Because parrots eat em all (paracetamol).
What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a parrot in Antarctica?
A brrrrrd.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender asked, ”Is it trained?”
The parrot replies, ”I am, but I don’t know about him.”
What do you call a parrot with Tourette’s?
A tic talker.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pigeon?
Voice mail.
Who in Treasure Island has a parrot that cries, “Pieces of four, Pieces of four?”
Short John Silver.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell, he heard “Jesus is watching you.”
Startled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yes”, the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that Jesus is watching you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the parrot.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The same kind of people who would name a Pit Bull Jesus.”
What do you call a drunk parrot that makes fun of everyone?
Tequila mockingbird.
Recommended: Turkey Jokes
When does a joke become a bird joke?
When it’s a parrot.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Parrot.
(Parrot who?)
Parrot who?
What do you call a partially paralyzed parrot?
A parrotpalegic.
What do you get when you cross a hyena with a parrot?
An animal that laughs at its own jokes.
One calls the circus and tells the manager that he can read the Bible.
The manager tells him, “Very nice, but it’s a circus here.” So he tells the manager, “I can quote Genesis by heart.” The manager tells him, “Wow, but it’s still a circus.” So he says, “I can quote straight and backward.”
The manager gets annoyed and hangs up. Then he says, “Too bad I forgot to tell him I’m a parrot.”
Why did the parrot go to prison?
He was a repeat offender.
What do you call a parrot that is a member of parliament?
A Polly-tician.
A frightened man came to the KGB. “My talking parrot has disappeared.”
“That’s not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police.”
“Excuse me, of course, I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot.”
Recommended: Adult Parrot Jokes
What did the math teacher say when the parrot escaped?
Polygon.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show:
“Look, it’s not the same hat!”
“Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!”
“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was the captain’s parrot, after all.
One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean, and of course, the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.
After a week, the parrot finally said, “Okay, I give up. What’d you do with the boat?”
What is the definition of polygamy in Tokyo?
The art of folding parrots into fancy shapes.
To determine the gender of a parrot, you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he’s a male…
If she bites you, she’s a female.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A walkie – talkie.
A man buys a parrot and brings it home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden, the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him, and says, “I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness.”
The man says, “Well, thank you. I forgive you.”
The parrot then says, “If you don’t mind my asking, what did the chicken do?”
Does anyone know what a pirate’s favorite animal is?
You’d think it would be a parrot but it’s actually the common deer.
Recommended: Peacock Jokes
2 parrots on a perch…
One says to the other, “Can you smell fish?”
The mother-in-law bought a talking parrot but returned it a week later.
“This parrot hasn’t spoken a single word.” She complained.
“I haven’t had a damn chance to!” Replied the parrot.
What did the parrot say when it saw its car driving away?
“MA CAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
What did the Canadian parrot say when he saw a picture of the Eiffel Tower?
“Polly view France eh?”
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby?
“Beak-areful!”
One day, a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ”$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”
”What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”That one’s $10,000.” The man says, ”What does HE do?”
The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”
Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion?
Don’t know, but if it wants a cracker you better give it one.
Did you hear about the haunted house full of parrots?
It was macaw-bre.
Where do parrots go when they die?
The parrotise.
Recommended: Duck Jokes
A pirate walks into a bar with a brightly plumaged parrot on his shoulder.
The barkeeper says, “Wow! Where did you find this splendid creature?”
“I found him on the beach with his peg leg stuck in the sand,” replies the parrot.
What game do baby parrots play?
Beakaboo!
What do you call a squawking doctor?
A parrot medic.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
A parrot.
(A parrot who?)
A parrot-ly some birds can talk!
Why should you always go to parties with your parrot?
He’s your wingman.
What side of a parrot has the most feathers?
The outside!
What does the parrot like to wear to the beach?
A beak-ini!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”
The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
“Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!”
“Dear Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.”
“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious!”
What do you call a parrot without feathers?
Bald!
Recommended: Penguin Jokes
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net?
Four pirates looking for a parrot!
“It’s either our marriage or that damn parrot!” she said.
The man laughed. “Oh, Penny, you need to stop mocking that silly woman, you’re making her upset!”
Why did the parrot chase the duckling?
Polly wants a quacker.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and speak.
What happens when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A bird that will talk your ear off!
This guy married his pet parrot.
He was a man of his bird!
A lady is walking down the street and sees a parrot in the window of a pet store.
She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, “Hey, lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work.
The next day, she sees the same parrot in the window. When the parrot sees her, it says, “Hey, lady, you are really ugly.” She’s livid and storms off.
A day later, she sees the same parrot and once again it says, “Hey lady, my God are you ugly.” The lady is so furious that she marches into the store and threatens to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologizes profusely and promises the bird won’t say it again.
The next day, when the lady walks past the store, the parrot says to her, “He,y lady. Lady!” She pauses, scowls with an icy stare, and says, “Yes?” And the parrot says, “… You know…”
Why did the parrot cross the road?
So he could use the cross-squawk.
You know there’s a name for when parrots mimic human speech…
It’s called a parroty.
Recommended: Owl Jokes
What type of jacket does a parrot wear?
A feather duster.
What do taxidermists use when they have a parrot to work with?
Polly-filler!
How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
Just send him to the polytechnic!
Do you have a funny Parrot Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
I’m a strong believer in animal rights…
Thats why I spent the summer teaching wild parrots to say “we demand suffrage”.
I once dated a girl that owned a parrot. That thing would never shut the f up.
The parrot was cool, though.