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Who do you go see if you need to buy some black market midget body parts?
A small arms dealer.
A small arms dealer.
See lessWhat is the 9th letter of the alphabet?
It was a complete guess, but I was right.
It was a complete guess, but I was right.
See lessDid you hear that Justin Timberlake has announced his intention to assist the war effort in Ukraine?
It’s reported he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea River.
It’s reported he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea River.
See lessWhat is the Hertz donut joke?
Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what's up and, as a teen, I say "nuthin" and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking at me with a stupid grin on hRead more
Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what’s up and, as a teen, I say “nuthin” and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he’s looking at me with a stupid grin on his face that’s he’s trying to suppress poorly. Finally, he asks me to pause the game. I turn to him and he asks “You want a Hertz donut?” I obviously know this joke, but to make it worse, he’s already making a fist, ready at his side. I roll my eyes and say “No, I do not want a Hertz donut.” He just relaxes his hand and says surprised “Oh, you don’t? You sure?” I say I’m sure and he says okay and walks back out to his car, leaving me to return to my GoldenEye. A few seconds later, he comes strolling back in the room, with a box of a dozen donuts in his hand, while he’s eating one, with the same stupid grin on his face. On the box of donuts, “Dunkin” has been crudely crossed out and Hertz written beneath it in Sharpie marker. He walks into the kitchen saying “Guess you won’t be having these Hertz donuts!” I’m in awe. I follow him into the kitchen and he finally relents and lets me take a donut. I ask him “So, you bought these donuts, and just put this joke together on the way home?” He says he thought of the joke earlier in the day at work and had to buy the donuts for the bit. I start laughing hysterically thinking about him sitting at work itching to leave to pull this off. As we sit there, quietly eating these donuts, he breaks the silence with a mouth full of donut, with “Had to stop at CVS to pick up a Sharpie too.” I almost choked on the donut jimmies.
See lessWhat is the Japanese Golfer joke?
An American man goes to Japan to close a big business deal. The night before, he is very tense so he picks up a woman in the hotel bar. She speaks no English but they get their transaction settled and go to his room. In bed, she is wildly thrashing around and screaming a phrase in Japanese. The manRead more
An American man goes to Japan to close a big business deal.
See lessThe night before, he is very tense so he picks up a woman in the hotel bar. She speaks no English but they get their transaction settled and go to his room.
In bed, she is wildly thrashing around and screaming a phrase in Japanese. The man figures she is loving it and tries to remember what she is saying.
The next day, he is playing golf with a Japanese customer, on the third tee, the Japanese man swings, the ball makes a beautiful arc, hits the green, bounces twice, rolls, and winds up right in the cup – a hole in one!
Thinking to impress his client, he repeats the phrase he heard the night before. The Japanese golfer looks at him and says, “What do you mean… Wrong hole?”
What is the Nazi knock knock joke in suits?
It is an outtake from the TV drama series Suits featuring Gabriel Macht as Harvey Specter and Rick Hoffman as Louis Litt. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl6wy5WoELE The same knock knock joke was first featured in another TV series The Office. Video: https://vimeo.com/34178476
It is an outtake from the TV drama series Suits featuring Gabriel Macht as Harvey Specter and Rick Hoffman as Louis Litt. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl6wy5WoELE
See lessThe same knock knock joke was first featured in another TV series The Office.
Video: https://vimeo.com/34178476
What is your best 'Dad went to get milk' joke?
I love jokes about dad leaving for milk or something and not coming back I'd tell them to my son but he probably wouldn't recognize me after all these years.
I love jokes about dad leaving for milk or something and not coming back
See lessI’d tell them to my son but he probably wouldn’t recognize me after all these years.
What is the tooth hurty joke?
What’s the best time of day to see the dentist? Tooth hurty.
What’s the best time of day to see the dentist?
See lessTooth hurty.
How do you steal a coat?
Jacket.
Jacket.
See lessWhy are Americans bad at geography?
Because the ones that skipped class survived.
Because the ones that skipped class survived.
See less