Arabs are a diverse group of people predominantly inhabiting the Arab world, which spans across North Africa and the Middle East. This cultural and ethnic tapestry includes a multitude of traditions, languages, and religious practices, unified by the common use of the Arabic language. Known for their rich history of storytelling, poetry, and humor, Arabs have contributed significantly to the fields of science, mathematics, and literature throughout the centuries. The warmth and hospitality found within Arab communities are legendary, with a guest being treated as nothing less than royalty, often amidst a feast fit for a king.
Venturing into the realm of Arab jokes, one finds a similar warmth and a penchant for playful banter. The humor often draws from the daily intricacies of Arab life, family dynamics, and the clever use of the Arabic language’s poetic nuances. These jokes are shared in good spirits, often over a cup of strong Arabic coffee and a platter of dates. They reflect a culture that values the joy of laughter, the spice of wit, and the shared smiles that transcend all boundaries. In the end, it’s not just about the punchline, but the shared experience of joy and the universal language of laughter.
Best Arab Jokes
Did you know that if it weren’t for Arabs, the US would never have 9/11?
Instead, it would be IX / XI.
Why don’t Arab women need Insurance?
Because they are already covered.
What do you call an Arabic fitness trainer that helps with pregnancy?
Ab-doula.
Why do you never see a flock of seagulls in the Middle East?
Because Iran’s so far away.
What would you call a Muscular Arab?
A Protein Sheikh.
Condoms were invented by Arabic Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestines.
They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Why are there no Walmarts in the Middle East?
Because there are too many Targets.
Why was algebra so easy before Arabic numerals?
Because X was always 10.
What is an Arabic ruler’s favorite flavor of potato chips?
Sultan vinegar.
How do they make honey in the Middle East?
From a shawarma bees.
The son of a wealthy arab prince goes to college in Europe.
After a few months, he gets a letter from his father asking how he is, how college life is, etc.
And he replies to his father, “Oh, everything is fine here, but it is really strange, most people here come to college by train and bus, and I’m the only one driving a golden Ferrari every day to classes”
After a few days, he gets a letter from his father with a black credit card inside and a note saying, “Son, don’t humiliate the family, here’s the unlimited credit card, buy yourself a train too!”
What do you call an Arab who owns 5,000 cows?
A Milk Sheikh.
What do Kim Kardashian and the Middle East have in common?
Both are covered in oil, huge, and have been invaded by the West.
Two Arabs are on a plane.
One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other, “Do you want some?”
The other replies, “No thanks, I’ll have to drive soon”.
What is the difference between American girls and Arab girls?
American girls get stoned before sex.
What’s the most popular pub in the Middle East?
The Allahu ak-Bar.
A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father says, “Why, my son, it is a ‘chechia.’ In the desert, it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
“And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a ‘djbellah.’ As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body.”
The son then asked: “But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
“These are ‘babouches’ my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet.”
“So tell me then,” added the boy.
“Yes, my son…”
“Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?
Snow isn’t a problem in Arab countries.
But isis.
What do you call cheap apartments in the Middle East?
Low rents of Arabia.
Two Arabic women are in a car, who is driving?
Their husband.
A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper.
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him, “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”
Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find?
Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”
Recommended: Jewish Jokes
How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’ll sit in the dark and blame the Jews.
What do you call a Middle Eastern Elvis Presley impersonator?
Amal Shookup
What do you call an Arab who has been injured in a bombing?
An ambulance.
Mohammad, a child of Arab parents was enrolled in a school in Dublin.
What’s your name?”, asked the teacher.
“Mohammad,” he replied.
“You’re in Ireland now,” replied the teacher, “So from now on you will be known as Mike.”
Mohammad returned home after school.
“How was your day, Mohammad?”, his mother asked.
“My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.
“Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!”
And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.
“What happened to you, Mike?” she asked.
“Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two damn Arabs.”
The Arabs invented a time machine.
It’s called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.
What do they call spiders in the Middle East?
Iraqnids.
DC has announced an Arab superhero will be featured in their new film.
The world can look forward to seeing O-man.
A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…
The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand. He is totally exhausted and panting.
In the second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place!”
“That should have worked,” said the friend.
The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn’t realize that Arabs Read from Right to Left…”
A dyslexic Arab walks into a bar.
“Ouch,” says the other Arab.
Why don’t they celebrate New Year’s Eve in the Middle East?
Because there’s no one left when the clock hits zero.
Why don’t Arabs have drivers and sex ed on the same day?
The camels would get too tired.
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.” Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “So what did you do with the pastries?” The Jew replies, “Look in the Arab’s back pocket…”
What do you call an arab in a plane?
A passenger.
Could you imagine a market in the Middle East?
Because that would be bazaar.
Did you hear about a rich Arab man trying to buy every fish and chip shop in Britain?
His name is Sultan Vinegar.
Mark and John walked into a bar.
Mark said, “Can you believe an Arab millionaire saw my wife and told me he would pay her weight in gold?”
John asked, “I can’t believe it, and what did you say?”
Mark said, “I asked him if he could wait a month.”
John asked, “So you can think about it?”
Mark replied, “No, to make her fat.”
What do you call an Arab stand-up comedian?
Mohahamed.
Who says Jesus couldn’t perform miracles?
He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John hanging around in the Middle East.
What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?
No, YOU the bomb.
There were two white Christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed.
As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do. As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead.
They became very hopeful. But then John said ”Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.” Then Mike said ”No way, I won’t say I’m Muslim, I’m gonna be honest”.
So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
John thought of a Muslim name and said, ‘My name is Muhammad’. And Mike said ‘My name is Mike’.
The Arab man said ‘Hello Mike.’ And told the other men to take Mike and give him food and drink. Then he turned to John and said, ‘Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak!
Recommended: Ramadan Jokes
If you ever were to go to a supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, the shelves were empty.
There was literally nothing Dubai.
How do Arabs overcome their anger?
They just Sheikh it off.
What do you call a lumberjack from the Middle East?
Osama Bin Loggin.
A reporter interviewed an Arab.
Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?
Man: Yes!
Reporter: Name?
Man: Abdul Al-Rhazim.
Reporter: Sex?
Man: Three to five times a week.
Reporter: No no! I mean male or female?
Man: Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.
Reporter: Holy cow!
Man: Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.
Reporter: But isn’t that hostile?
Man: Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.
Reporter: Oh dear!”
Man: No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.
How do Arabs grumble when the weather is bad?
“Bah! Rain!”
What’s the most popular chili in the Middle East?
Halalpeño.
Which part of a rabbit is from the Middle East?
Every part, he’s arab bit.
An Arab man is wandering lost through the Sahara. He sees a man in the distance and struggles to get there hoping it’s not a mirage. He finally arrives and sees a nice Jewish man with a table of ties.
“Please, I’ve been lost for hours and so incredibly thirsty, do you have any water?” The Jewish guy looks at him and says, “No, why don’t you buy a tie?”
Arab man looks at him and says, “I don’t want a tie, I just need some water.”
“Your shirt is all dirty; I think you’d look good in a new tie”.
“For f*ck sake! I don’t want a tie, please just give me some water!” says the Arab.
“Well I don’t have any water, but there’s a restaurant about 5 miles east that has plenty,” says the Jew
A few hours later, the Jewish man is packing up his things to go home for the day and sees the Arab man again crawling back on his arms and knees. He approaches him and asks, “Hey, were you able to find that restaurant?”
“Yeah, but your brother wouldn’t let me in without a f*cking tie!”
The US needs to start giving hurricanes Arab names.
Nobody is going to leave for Idalia but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate.
What did the cowboy Arab say to his friend?
“Saudi Partner!”
Why can’t people go swimming in the Middle East?
Because of the Towel ban.
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: “Beloved son, I am very sad because I can’t plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father.”
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: “Beloved Father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you, too, Ahmed” At 4 pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA, and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can’t find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. “Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That’s all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed.”
What do Gulf Arabs do when they hate their job?
They kuwait.
Why do arab women love Among us?
Because that’s the only place they get to vote.
An English, American, and Arab guy are bragging in a bar about their large family.
The American says, “I have 4 kids. One more, and I can make a basketball team!”
The English says, “I have 10 kids. One more, and I can make a football (“soccer”) team!”
The Arab guy says: “I have 17 wives. One more, and I can make a golf course!”
What is an Arab Furry’s favorite Game?
Exploding Kittens.
What do Arabs listen to music?
A boombox.
A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt.
They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan and bring him back to America to live with them.
Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyway, they decided to adopt him.
The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.
The husband shrugs and says: “Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
Cooking meat at high temperatures quickly was invented in the Middle East.
By the Syrians.
Why are people in the Middle East always wet?
Because of the toweliban.
What do you call an overcast day in the Middle East?
Cloudy Arabia.
Recommended: Eid Jokes
A married couple was on holiday in a remote part of the Arab countryside. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Arabian accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”
So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have a special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.” Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was.
The husband asked the man, “How could sandals improve my abilities?” The Arab man replied, “Just try dem on, Saiheeb. The sandals will prove it to you.” Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn’t seen in many years: raw sexual power!
In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Arab man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man’s pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Arabs thighs. The shopkeeper then began screaming, “YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!”
What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
What is the most popular instrument in the Middle East?
The acoustic Qatar.
What do people in the Middle East play tennis with?
Iraquette.
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home.
All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home. After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Abdullah.
“How do you like it here?” Asked the grandson. It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” said Abdullah.
“We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you since you are a “little different” from everyone.”
“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents.” Abdullah said with a big smile.
“There’s a musician here – he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here – he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honour.
There’s a dentist here – 90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor.
And me – I haven’t had sex for 35 years and they still call me the F*cking Arab.”
Why are camels called ‘The Ships of the Desert?’
Because they’re full of Arab s*men.
Have you heard about the sexually confused dyslexic Arab woman?
She’s either half lesbian or half Lebanese.
How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes?
Very satisfying.
Do you have a funny Arab joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!
Thought I heard someone say “Hello” in Arabic..
But it was a false Salaam.
Iranian joke:
The changes in Afghan has really helped womens equality;
Before, women had to go 20 steps behind the men of the famiky.
Now they get to go 20 steps in front!!
Mostly because of the mines, but ..