Every year, when Autumn approaches, many fall enthusiasts relish the prospect of all things cozy—flannels, candles, scarves, blankets, seasonal coffee drinks, and more! While several of these hobbies have been jokingly characterized as “basic,” they have also supplied lots of funny social media fodder in the form of Autumn jokes!
We’ve got hilarious Autumn puns about the weather (and how many of us overdress in attractive fall ensembles even before the temperatures drop), “falling back” time, pumpkin spice lattes (which are pretty much associated with fall at this point), and so much more.
With these jokes that sum up the season so well, be inspired for the best autumn yet and start daydreaming about pumpkin patches, plaid shirt days (thanks for those lyrics, Taylor Swift), fall nail designs, apple orchard excursions, and sipping on apple cider.
Funny Autumn Jokes
What do we need to know before you read these Autumn Jokes?
“Do you have anything to fall back on?”
What’s the big deal about eating too much pumpkin pie at this time of year?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
In Autumn, what did the skydiver say?
I love the fall.
Awww turn up the music, it’s my favorite song.
How do people pray to Autumnal Gods?
“I’m feeling gratefall for these days.”
What do you drive in the fall?
How do you make leaves fall off of trees?
You don’t – they do it autumn-atically.
UK: We call it “Autumn”, from the French word “Automne”, and later, from the Latin “Autumnus.”
USA: We call it Fall because leaves fall down.
What is the best pickup line in Autumn?
Hey, girl are you a cool autumn breeze because you make me wanna jacket.
Why should National Pride Day be on September 21?
September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.
There is no climate change or global warming.
It’s just Autumn identifying as Summer.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
What happens when Winter arrives?
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.
What does the tree say in autumn?
Leaf me alone.
Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in Autumn, it’s because of nostalgia?
They’re trying to get back to their roots.
Why shouldn’t you date a girl named Autumn?
Because she’ll leave you.
Why does the guy like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves, whenever Autumn comes around?
He is a street sweeper.
Why do leaves change color in Autumn?
Because instead of chlorophyll, they chloro-empty.
Why are girls named Autumn not good at pranking?
Because nobody falls for it.
A Canadian mother and her family live in the wilderness near the US border. Her kid returns home from town with a letter one autumn morning. He approaches her and says:
“According to this document, the United States wishes to include this territory in Montana. The Canadian government agrees, but because we are the only family living here, they need our approval to hand over the land to the US.”
The woman jumps out of her chair and exclaims, “Where do I sign? I don’t think I can stand another Canadian winter!”
How did Grandma know it was autumn?
She had a fall sensor.
Why wasn’t autumn included in the list of seasons?
Because somebody had to take the fall.
Recommended: Falling Jokes
What season of the year do most people get hurt?
Autumn due to the fall.
What did Summer say to Spring before Autumn?
Help! I am going to fall.
Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?
You’ll regret it in autumn when it leaves.
Why do trees take a break every year in Autumn?
Did you know that all of the seasons are named after a tight coil of metal?
Except for winter, summer and autumn…!
The four seasons were debating over who was the best.
Winter brags, “Well, you can make snowmen, and the snow is lovely. And then there’s Christmas!! Everyone enjoys the holiday season!”
Spring chuckles “Sure, but everything is so fresh and new in the spring! It doesn’t get much better than all the new blooms!”
Summer says, “Yes, but I am without a doubt the best season overall! Girls in swimsuits, ice cream, and nice weather You can’t compete with it. What about you, Autumn? What can you offer?”
Autumn ~ -leaves-
What does a spaceship wear in autumn?
A husband and wife a late-night debate.
Wife: Autumn is better than summer.
Husband: Nope, that’s a fall-acy.
Recommended: Harvest Jokes
What is the cutest season among all?
What do you call a tree that doubts autumn’s existence?
Did you know about the tree that had to take a break in autumn?
It was on a paid leaf.
Why did summer catch autumn?
Because autumn is fall.
What if money grew on trees?
Autumn will be the best season ever.
The Four Seasons, the iconic crime syndicate, awaited their next assignment.
The boss stood in front of them.
“Winter,” he started. “I need you to be calm in the face of adversity. You have ice in your veins “He patted his shoulder.
“Now, Summer,” he went on. “If the heat gets too much for Winter, use your hot temper to remind the cops who they’re working for, and scorch that picture into their memories.
“As for you, Spring,” he laughed, “this operation is going to bring in a lot of green.” Make certain that it continues to grow when we reinvest it.”
“And last, but certainly not least,” he said, rounding on Autumn and cupping his face. “You get them there safely and stay in the getaway car. And if anything happens–“
“Christ, dad!” snapped Autumn. “Yes, I get it. Once again, I’m the fall guy.”
Why do trees indulge in new endeavors so often?
Because every autumn, then turn over a new leaf.
What band do autumn vandals listen to?
The Smashing Pumpkins.
What does Autumn say to Summer?
Make like a tree and leaf.
What’s the preacher’s favorite autumn song?
When it’s cold outside, what do farmers wear under their shirts?
Recommended: Farmer Jokes
A couple visits an art gallery and comes across a painting of a naked woman with only her privates covered in leaves.
The wife dislikes it and moves on, but the husband continues to gaze.
“What are you looking for?” she inquires.
He replies, “Autumn.”
Why are trees very forgiving?
Because in the Autumn they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf”.
What is the biggest problem with Autumn jokes?
No one falls for it.
What do you call a small pepper in late autumn?
A little chili.
What is the slowest way for an ant to get down from a tree?
Sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.
What is the best book to read in autumn?
Gourd of the Rings.
Which is the most gourd-geous season of them all?
With all the pumpkins around, autumn.
What is a tree’s least favorite month?
What did October say to August?
Wake Me When September ends.
Why can you trust leaves in the fall?
They speak from the b-autumn of their hearts.
During Autumn, the Indians on the faraway reserve asked their new Chief whether the winter would be cold or mild. He had never been taught the old mysteries because he was an Indian Chief in modern civilization.
He couldn’t tell what the weather would be like by looking at the sky. To be on the safe side, he informed his tribe that the winter would be cold and that the inhabitants of the tribe should gather fuel to prepare.
In addition, being a practical leader, he had an idea after a few days. He went to the phone booth, dialed the National Weather Service, and said, “Will the upcoming winter be cold?”
“It appears that this winter will be rather chilly indeed,” the weather service meteorologist responded. So the Chief returned to his people and instructed them to gather even more wood in order to be ready.
He called the National Weather Service again a week later. “Will it be an extremely cold winter?”
“Yes,” the man from the National Weather Service said again, “it’s going to be a very chilly winter.” The Chief returned to his people and instructed them to gather every piece of wood they could find.
He called the National Weather Service again two weeks later. “Are you certain that the winter will be quite cold?”
“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”
“How can you be so sure?” the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting wood like crazy.”
What did one Almond tree say to another before Autumn?
Hold onto your nuts; fall is here!
What did the farmer kid say to another while picking up apples during Autumn?
Fall is a-maize-ing.
Have a better joke about Autumn? Write down your puns and one-liners in the comment section below.