Jessica Amlee
Ah, September, that magical month where summer starts giving side-eye to fall. You can almost hear the collective groan of school-aged kids and the faint clinking of pumpkin spice lattes being stirred in the distance. It’s the time when Instagram feeds transition from beach selfies to apple orchard outings and ‘back to school’ ads become more haunting than any Halloween movie. It’s the seasonal equivalent of puberty: not quite summer, not yet autumn, but awkwardly, wonderfully in-between. Trust September to give you warm days to still rock those shorts, then slap you with an evening chill that’ll make you regret not bringing a hoodie. Confusing? Absolutely. That’s September for you.
With such a blend of moods, how could September not become the ripest fruit in the comedic orchard? September jokes practically write themselves, mainly because everyone is in a weird, transitional state. Students are adapting to waking up early again, parents are celebrating their newfound freedom (or sulking in empty nest syndrome), and all of us are in denial about the impending doom of winter. Whether it’s quips about teachers already counting down the days to the next summer break or jokes about how September is the Monday of the year, the material is endless. September jokes are the comedy world’s comfort food; a lighthearted way to ease the seasonal identity crisis this month thrusts upon us. If not enough, you can take a look at our September memes. Now go ahead, crack a September joke or two. After all, it’s the month that keeps us all guessing—and laughing.
Funny September Jokes
Why should Pride Month be celebrated in September?
As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.
What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
“Where were you on the night of September to March?”
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Being shot.
Why are most babies born in September?
That’s one way to start the new year off with a bang.
What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?
Premature ejackolantern.
What do you get if you eat too much pumpkin pie?
Autumn-y ache.
Why didn’t Superman save New York City on September 11?
Because he was in a wheelchair.
Recommended: 9/11 Jokes
When was the greatest game of Jenga ever played?
September 11, 2001.
What can you expect on September 15th which is National Camouflage Day?
Hope to not see anyone celebrating.
What’s the difference between summer and Jada?
Summer ends in September, but August finished in Jada.
What holiday occurs every year on September 29th?
Brickaelmas.
There’s a new battle royals game launching on September 1st.
It’s called “back to school!”
September is Alzheimer’s awareness month.
Did anyone else forget?
Recommended: October Jokes
Why you are not a Virgo if you were born in mid-September?
You’re a Christmas present.
How many know that September is deaf awareness month?
Never heard of it.
Where does January come after February & December come before September?
It’s the dictionary.
Did anyone call Green Day yesterday?
Someone was supposed to wake them up before September ended.
What did the wife say when she called her husband at work and said, “It’s time, the baby is coming”?
“That’s impossible, Labor Day is in September.”
Recommended: Labor Day Jokes
What is the similarity between children and department stores?
They’re both preparing for Christmas in September.
What is the most common element?
Air – it is here all year, but earth wind and fire are only here for September.
What do you call a washing machine with a September?
An autumn-atic washer.
Did you hear about the man who got fired from his job as a printer in a business making Calendars?
All he did was taking a day off in September.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Teddy.
Teddy who?
Teddy is the 1st day of school!
Recommended: First Day Of School Jokes
What do trees do during September?
Turn over to a new leaf.
Why did the guy fail no fap September?
It’s just too hard.
How do you get an apple pregnant?
You cum in cider.
What is the best thing to put into a pie?
Your teeth.
The tree hated losing its foliage in September.
When it grew back in March, he was so relieved.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
What is a tree’s least favorite month?
Sep-timber.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To compensate for his miserable summer.
What is the harvester’s favorite music artist?
Hall’n Oates.
Recommended: Harvest Jokes
When do you have to wait till September to drive the new car?
Shouldn’t have bought an autumnobile.
What did one autumn leaf say to another?
“I am falling for you.”
What did October have to say to August?
Wake me up when September ends.
Why are only equinoxes and the solstices worth celebrating holidays?
All of the others are astronomically unimportant.
Now that September is about to end…
Don’t forget to wake up Billie Joe Armstrong tomorrow.
Do you have a funny September Joke? Write down your own September puns in the comment section below!
I want to get married on September 11th…
That way I’ll never forget my anniversary