30 Funny David Cameron Jokes That Re-Emerge This Year

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Jessica Amlee

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David Cameron, a notable figure in British politics, served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 2010 to 2016. Known for his leadership of the Conservative Party, Cameron’s tenure was marked by significant events, including the controversial Brexit referendum. After stepping down as Prime Minister, he largely remained out of the public political sphere. Fast forward to 2023, in a surprising turn of events, Cameron re-emerges onto the political stage, this time assuming the role of Foreign Secretary. This unexpected comeback has turned heads and sparked conversations, as it marks a significant re-entry into frontline politics, raising questions about his potential impact on international relations and diplomacy in a world that has dramatically changed since his premiership.

The realm of David Cameron jokes, particularly about his 2023 comeback as Foreign Secretary, offers a playground of witty quips and light-hearted satire. Picture the jests about him navigating the new political landscape with a GPS set to 2016, or tongue-in-cheek references to his search for a ‘Brexit undo’ button. In these puns, Cameron’s unexpected return to politics offers a rich tapestry for playful banter, poking fun at the idiosyncrasies of political comebacks and the ever-evolving, often surprising, nature of public life.

Best David Cameron Jokes

What’s the David Cameron diet?
You’ll never lose your pounds quicker.

Don’t you think that David Cameron misunderstood when Rishi Sunak rang him up?
PM asked him to help with f*cking Hamas.

What do the UK economy and dead pigs have in common?
The Tories love using both for their pump and dump schemes.

One day, David Cameron went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak.
The butcher asked, “What is your favourite cut?”
David replied, “The public sector.”

What do you call David Cameron when he enters the Houses of Parliament?
An inside joke.
What do you call David Cameron when he’s late for the bus?
A running joke.
What do you call David Cameron’s leadership skills?
A bad joke.

Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?
In the Piggy bank.’

Do you remember when David Cameron swore on live television?
The funny thing was most swore when they saw that c*nt on their television.

Did you hear that David Cameron ‘fondest dream’ is to one day hear the words “Prime Minister” followed by an Asi*n Muslim name?
Oddly enough, this has also been the subject of many of people’s worst nightmares.

Once when David Cameron was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, he was visiting patients in a brand new hospital. He’d been shown into a ward and began chatting to a patient who replied:
“Fair fa your honest soncie face, Great chieftain o’ the puddin race, Aboon them a’ you take your place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As lang’s my airm”
Confused, Cameron grinned and moved to the next patient and said hello. The patient replied:
“Some hae meat and canna eat, And some was eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit”
Even more confused, he moved to the next patient and before he could say hello the patient chanted:
Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie, O, what a panic’s in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi’ bickering brattle!”
Seriously concerned about his safety Cameron hastened away and then turned to the ward sister and asked; “What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?”
She replied, “No Prime Minister, it’s the Burns unit.”

Did you hear that David Cameron is the new U.K. Foreign Secretary?
He’s promised to give foreign relations a ‘referendum’ touch. Let’s hope it’s more ‘remain’ than ‘leave’ this time!”

How does David Cameron like his eggs?
In a coalition – half scrambled, half boiled.

Who’s David Cameron’s favourite Looney Tunes character?
Porky Pig.

David Cameron’s favourite film?
“The Great Escape” – he’s always trying to find a way out of Europe!

What did David Cameron say at the ghost convention?
“I’m here to talk about the spirit of the Conservative party!”

David Cameron’s idea of a workout?
Running a country… and then running away from it!

During his tenure as PM, David Cameron has said the UK’s mission in Afghanistan is ‘accomplished’.
We’re leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can’t read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.
Yes, we’ve brought the British way of life to them all right.

What message did David Cameron send Alex Salmond following the Scottish vote?
“Hi mate just checking in, u k?”

David Cameron has just placed his Christmas dinner order with Fortnum & Masons.
He’s having an 18lb prize turkey, caviar, smoked salmon, and 8 pigs in lingerie.

Why did the UK have to get a new Prime Minister after Brexit?
Because David Cameron wouldn’t do it, but Theresa May.

Recommended: England Jokes

In 2013, David Cameron said that Britain was prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally Britishers aren’t prepared for snow in winter.

What’s David Cameron’s favourite Shakespeare play?

Where do David Cameron and his party meet?
In the Conservatory!

David Cameron met his wife through her younger sister, Clare.
Apparently, she warned him that she was an absolute pig, and that immediately got his interest.

Do you have a funny David Cameron joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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