The FIFA World Cup is like a global comedy show disguised as a football tournament, where nations kick a ball for glory and fans kick furniture when their team misses. Every four years, the planet pauses to argue about referees and chant songs nobody really understands. Now, with the U.S., Mexico, and Canada hosting together, it’s like throwing a party at three neighbors’ houses who can’t agree on the playlist. And yes, the U.S. brings the memory of Trump’s tariff wars to the table, which makes the setup for World Cup 2026 Jokes almost too easy.
This time, the fun won’t just be on the field. It’s in the hosting drama, too. Mexico will try to keep the energy spicy, Canada will politely serve snacks and say sorry every five minutes, while the U.S. flexes its muscles and pretends everything’s about business. Fans will be traveling across borders like football nomads, wondering if the biggest challenge is winning matches or surviving the passport lines. With neighbors who love to tease each other, the World Cup 2026 Jokes practically write themselves, and the tournament promises as many laughs as goals.
Best World Cup Jokes
Footballing nations are afraid to face the US in the Group or Playoff stages.
No one wants to pay 100% tariffs for winning a WC match.
If you are thinking of settling down, here’s some advice: Don’t date soccer players.
There’s only a 1/11 chance that they’re a keeper.
In the last World Cup, the US got knocked out on day 13!
It’s their fastest exit from the Middle East.
What’s the difference between Brazil and the USA?
5 World Cups.
The England team visited an orphanage in the USA today.
“It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Little Johnny, age 6.
Why are US stadiums so hot during games?
No fans.
Why is Spain so good at football?
Because no one expects the Spanish in position!
Obama, Trump, and Bush were tossing around a football during the pre-shoot of World Cup 2026.
On one pass, Trump throws the ball too far, and it gets punctured on top of the White House fence.
Bush and Obama yell at Trump, saying he always manages to lose or destroy the football.
After a few minutes of angry stares, a Secret Service agent goes to Trump. He gives him another football that’s, curiously, transparent.
Trump, excited to try out this new toy, tosses it towards Bush, who then tosses it to Obama. Trump readies himself for the ball, but Obama just stands there looking hesitantly between Trump and the football.
Trump, irritated at Obama’s poor sportsmanship, loudly asks Obama to give him the ball. However, he continues to stand in place, casting a look of hesitation towards Donald. “Why won’t you give me the ball?!” Trump asks in disgust.
“I’m sorry,” Obama says with a defiant tone, “but I don’t think we’re ready for you to handle the NewClear football.”
Does anyone here like jokes about the FIFA World Cup?
I get a kick out of them…
What did the soccer announcer who made the naughty list get from Santa Claus?
“COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!”
Wife says to her husband: “Choose, either me or the soccer World Cup game!”
He responds: “Give me 90 minutes to think.”
Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?
Because soccer is more popular in Mexico.
Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?
In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.
A man said to my doctor, “Can you help? Every night, I dream about monkeys playing football. It’s all I ever dream about. Every night, monkeys playing football.”
The doctor said, “That’s odd. Here are some tablets, they’ll stop the dreams. Start taking them tonight.”
The man said, “Can I start tomorrow night?”
“Why?”
“Tonight’s the final”.
Who are the pirates rooting for in the 2026 World Cup?
Ahrr-gentina.
Who is Donald Trump’s favorite Club Football team?
Deportivo.
Have you heard that Team USA’s shooting has improved in this World Cup?
Rumour has it that they practiced by placing photos of small school children in the top corners.
Have you heard about Iran’s national football team?
They’re Shi’ite.
What can you say about the Poland squad for the FIFA World Cup?
One of them is surely going to be your WiFi password.
At the World Cup final in MetLife Stadium, a man takes his seat. He glances around and discovers a vacant seat between himself and the next guy.
“Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” says the man.
“Well, that was my wife’s seat,” the man responds. “We attended the last five World Cup finals together, but regrettably, she died.”
“That’s horrible,” the man responds, “but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?”
The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”
Who is the slipperiest footballer in the FIFA World Cup?
Antoine Grease-man.
Where’s the best place in the US to shop for a WC football kit?
New Jersey!
Why did the politically correct soccer team never win any matches in the World Cup?
Because no offense.
Two friends decide that they are gonna have the dish as per the FIFA World Cup schedule.
Mexico was on, they had burritos.
Japan was on, they had sushi.
USA was on, they had burgers.
Spain was on, they had Paella.
Next is England, so they’re going out.
What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup as hosts?
Turn off the Playstation.
What do you call an English man at the World Cup 2026 final?
A referee.
Which country has scored the most World Cup goals?
The mongoals.
What philosopher won Greece the world cup?
Soccerates.
Why are some rooting for Switzerland and Denmark in the World Cup?
They don’t know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.
Why do some people not watch the World Cup in the US?
If they wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes they’d go to a bar.
A Mexican man sneaks across the border to watch his favorite football team play and makes it all the way to the stadium. He doesn’t have tickets, so he finds a large pole to climb up on and jumps down into the top of the bleachers to get a bird’s-eye view of the game.
After the game was over and his buddies asked him how the game was back in Mexico, he replied, “I don’t know why you all don’t think Americans are nice. As soon as I sat down, everyone turned around, looked at me, and started singing ‘Jose, can you see?'”
Why don’t grasshoppers watch the FIFA World Cup?
They watch cricket instead.
What lights up a pitch at night?
World Cup Football match.
What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs?
Gracias.
Why didn’t Scotland qualify for the World Cup 2026?
Their players can’t drink for 3 weeks.
Recommended: Women Football Jokes
Who did the Saudis beat in order to qualify for the World Cup 2026?
Their wives.
What do you call a Canadian player in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A referee!
Why can’t Indians play football?
Because every time they get a corner they build a shop.
Do you have a funny World Cup 2026 Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
Why did the referee bring sunscreen to the FIFA World Cup in America?
Because even the red cards weren’t enough protection from the heat.
Why don’t Americans host the FIFA World Cup more often?
Because every time they hear “football,” they bring helmets and touchdowns!