Ford is probably one of the most well-known automobile manufacturers today. Its vehicles are not only well-designed but also tough and robust. It’s one of the brands that people look to when they need a reliable vehicle. No doubt a company which was founded in 1903 is still among the top five car manufacturers in the world.
Ford Motor Company and Chevrolet have a long history of rivalry similar to the one between Coca-Cola and Pepsi, Apple and Android or Mac and Windows. We have all seen how their fanboys clash on the Internet and streets. With Ford jokes like these, Chevy and other car owners poke fun at each other.
Best Ford Jokes
What is the full form of Ford?
Found On Roadside Dead.
What do you get when you put Adderall into the gas tank of a Ford Fiesta?
A Ford Focus.
Why is Ford emblem oval in shape?
Because Ford had to cut so many corners.
How good are Ford cars?
85% of all Fords made are still on the road today. The other 15% made it home.
What do you get if you join a Ford Focus and a Ford Fiesta?
A Ford Fusion.
Why do Ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers?
To keep your hands warm when you’re pushing them.
Man: I believe I have ADHD because I constantly forget where I parked my Ford.
Doctor: ADHD does not work like that.
Man: But I keep losing my focus, doc.
What’s the difference between a school cafeteria worker and a misfiring engine in a ford pinto?
One makes a sloppy joe and the other makes a jalopy slow.
What’s the best pick up line?
Ford F Series.
What do people ask a statistician working at Ford?
For his auto graph.
Why does Ford manufacture tractors but Opel does not?
Because Opel can’t get anything to run that slow.
What does Ford stand for?
Fix Or Replace Daily.
A husband went to the police station to report his wife missing.
Husband: My wife has gone missing. She went shopping yesterday but has yet to return home.
Officer: How tall is she?
Husband: I don’t know. I am slightly taller than five feet.
Officer: What’s her weight?
Husband: I’m not sure. Not skinny, not obese.
Officer: What colour are her eyes?
Husband: I was never aware.
Officer: What colour is her hair?
Husband: She changes a few times a year. Perhaps a dark brown.
Officer: What was she dressed in?
Husband: It could have been a skirt or a pair of shorts. I can’t recall exactly.
Officer: What kind of vehicle did she travel in?
Husband: She got into my truck.
Officer: What type of truck was that?
Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and ‘Bubba’ floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. The wife put a small scratch on the driver’s door. At this point, the husband started choking up.
Officer: Don’t be concerned, buddy. We’ll find your truck.
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After the success of Ford vs Ferrari, which movie is Chevy planning on?
What happens when you leave your Ford Explorer to play the guitar for U2?
Now it’s a Ford Edge.
Why are there so many Ford Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars?
This way, kids can develop a habit of pushing themselves at an early age.
What car can everyone buy?
Have you heard about the brand-new electric coffee car from Ford?
It’s the Mach-E Auto.
St. Peter stands at the gates of heaven and summons the first man.
Peter begins, “You’ve never been unfaithful to your wife! I’m going to let you drive a Ferrari around heaven!”
As a result, he gets into his car and drives through the gates.
Peter then summoned the second man. Peter says, “Oh no, it appears you cheated on your wife twice! You’ll be driving around heaven in an Accord!”
He too enters his vehicle and drives through the gates.
The third man is called by Peter, who then says, “A total of five times, you cheated on your wife. You’ll be driving around in a Ford Pinto!”
When the third man drives through the gates, he notices the person in the Ferrari crying on the side of the road.
The man inquires, “Why are you so upset? You have the best car of all of us!”
“I just saw my wife ride by on a skateboard,” he says.
What do you call someone who has recently purchased himself a new Ford, Tesla, BMW, and Toyota?
It might have a carowner virus.
What do you name a new company created to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries?
What does Ford stand for in a bad way?
Fix Or Repair Daily.
What do you call a guy who tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150?
A pickup artist.
What is the best thing Ford has ever done?
Circle the problem.
Why did the blonde keep staring at the Ford?
It said Focus.
A cowboy walks into a bar a few miles west of Brokeback Mountain and realises it’s a gay bar after only two steps. “What the hell,” he thinks to himself, “I need a drink.” When the bartender comes over, he asks the cowboy, “What’s the name of your ‘willy’?” “Look, I’m not into any of that,” says the cowboy. “I just want a drink.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your ‘willy,” says the bartender. My for example, is called Nike, after the slogan ‘Just Do It.’ That guy at the far end of the bar refers to his snickers as ‘It really Satisfies.’
The cowboy is perplexed, so the bartender tells him he will give him a moment to think about it.
“Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping a beer. The man returns the smile and says, “TIMEX.” “Why Timex?” inquires the thirsty cowboy. “Because it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!” says the man proudly.
“So, what do you guys call yours?” the cowboy asks, a little shaken, turning to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita. The first man approaches him and proudly declares, “FORD,” because “Quality is Job One.” “Have you driven a Ford lately?” he asks.
“I call my CHEVY, ‘Like a Rock!” says the guy next to him. And even gives a wink! Even more rattled, the Cowboy has to pause for a moment before labelling his manhood.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and announces, “The name of my ‘willy’ is ‘SECRET.’ Give me a beer now.”
The bartender starts pouring the cowboy a beer, but then asks, “But why Secret?” The cowboy says, “Because it’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.”
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What would Chrysler’s version of the Ford Focus be called?
Why should Ford manufacture a sedan called Ore?
It would be the four-door Ford Ore.
What’s the difference between a tampon and a Ford?
The tampon comes with a tow rope.
What happens to a Ford Fiesta if you forget your Xanax in it?
Now it’s a Ford Siesta.
F.O.R.D. stand for?
Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive.
Michigan Lawyer: Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?
Barney: No sir. I ain’t got no money, but I do get a Ford 1928 Model A!
Lawyer: Well you can raise money on that. Now let’s see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?
Barney: A Ford 1928 Model A.
Wanna hear a Ford truck joke?
Never mind, it won’t start.
What is a Ford F125?
An F150 that the bank still owns.
Why was the car not in the garage?
You shouldn’t have bought a Ford Escape.
What’s the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
What do ford mustangs and horny people have in common?
They both create accidens willingly.
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A sixteen-year-old boy brought home a brand-new Ford F150. “Where did you get that truck?” his parents ask, looking at the truck.
“I just bought it,” he says.
“How much money?” his mother asks.
They were aware of the price of a new F150.
“Well, this one only cost me fifteen dollars,” he says.
The father looks at him as if he’s insane.
“Who would sell a truck like that for $15?” he asks.
“It was the lady up the street,” the boy says. “I don’t know what her name is because they just moved in. She saw me riding my bike by and asked if I wanted to buy her F150 for $15.”
“Oh my God!” exclaims the mother. “Perhaps she is mentally ill or has Alzheimer’s disease. You should go see what’s going on, John.”
So the boy’s father walks up the street to the lady’s house and finds her calmly planting petunias in the yard.
He introduces himself as the boy’s father to whom she sold a new Ford F150 truck for $15 and inquires why she did so.
“Well, my husband left on a business trip two days ago,” she explains. I received a phone call from his boss yesterday and learned that he actually fled to Hawaii with his secretary and has no plans to return.”
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry,” says the father. “How does that connect to my son and your truck?”
“Well, he called this morning and said he was stranded because he was robbed of his wallet, which contained all of his credit cards and cash. He instructed me to sell his new F150 and send him the earnings. As a result, I did.”
What happens when you hit a cow in your Ford?
Now it’s a Ford Taurus.
How do you know Jesus had a Ford?
That’s why he walked everywhere.
What do you call it when Indiana Jones chases you around town in a Mustang and continually honks at you?
What do you call a Ford that can also drive underwater?
A Fjord Explorer.
What’s a cow’s favorite car?
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Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault ‘Clio’ and the Ford ‘Taurus’ they have designed the ‘Clitaurus’.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won’t be able to find it – let alone turn it on – even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings when you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one and replace it when it becomes troublesome.
What did the Dodge and Chevy say to the Ford who got stung by a bee?
What car should you drive at the start of the week?
What do you get when someone peels the letter ‘R’ off your Ford Ranger?
Did you ever hear about the Ford Pinto?
It really blew up the market.
What happens to a Ford Focus if you forget a hooker in it?
Now it’s a Ford Escort.
What is the acronym for FORD?
Found On Redneck Driveway.
Ford vehicles are among the most affordable in the world, which explains why the company has such a large global market. Luxury car owners frequently refer to Ford drivers as peasants, claiming that they can only afford Ford cars!
That’s it, people. That concludes our list of Ford Jokes. Keep vising us if you are a Ford fan.
Ford jokes are the best! I can’t wait to piss off a Ford owner with one of these!
Yo mama so dumb, she bought a Ford from the dealership and sat in it for two days because it said Focus
Why did the Ford owner name his car after his wife?
Because it was always breaking down and leaving him stranded.