Jokes

50 Funny Grim Reaper Jokes That Are Dead Funny During Halloween

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Jessica Amlee

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The Grim Reaper, a spectral figure cloaked in darkness and wielding a scythe, has been a symbol of death across many cultures for centuries. This skeletal entity, often portrayed with hollow, haunting eyes, personifies the end of life, guiding souls to their final destination. The image of the Grim Reaper is rooted in ancient mythologies, with similar entities appearing in tales from ancient Greece to Norse sagas. Often depicted as impartial, the Reaper neither punishes nor rewards; he merely collects, ensuring the balance of life and death.

Given the Reaper’s somewhat gloomy day job, it might come as a surprise that this skeletal figure has become the butt of many jokes. Jokes about the Grim Reaper make use of the ironic contrast between the gravity of death and the ridiculousness of daily existence

Through humor, these jokes playfully humanize death’s most iconic symbol, allowing us to face our deepest fears with a smirk. Who knew that even the herald of death could use a good laugh every once in a while?!

Best Grim Reaper Jokes

Why did the Grim Reaper schedule an appointment with his eye doctor?
He was having issues with his death perception.


How much does the Grim Reaper weigh?
A skeleton.


Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.
But the Grim Reaper still hasn’t gotten up the courage to tell him.


Yo mama was so fat, Grim Reaper traded his scythe for a bush hog.


What’s a grim reaper’s worst enemy?
A life guard.


What happens if you try to sit on Death’s couch?
There will be grim reaper cushions.


Knock, knock.
(Who”s there?)
It’s the Grim Reaper!
(Grim Reaper who?)
The Grim Reaper who is about to come into your house smokes some weed, drinks some grim reaper liquor, and then get drunk.


Did you hear about the man’s dream in which he was vacuuming with the Grim Reaper?
He says, “I was Dyson with death!”


Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop?
To get some soles!


What did the chicken say to the Grim Reaper?
Should have looked both ways.


What’s it called when the Grim Reaper screws up and gets a concussion?
A repercussion.


What is the Grim Reaper’s favorite kind of drink?
Mortali-tea.


How does the Grim Reaper keep his cloak so black?
He uses dye.


A woman was admitted to the hospital.
for heart surgery. At this time, the Grim Reaper came and stood beside her. The lady said, “Am I going to die today? ” Reaper said, “No. You’ll live for another 30 years. “
The lady thought, “If I only live another 30 years, I may as well live lavishly. She got her teeth fixed, her hair transplanted, and had facelift surgery. She bought new fashionable clothes. Then, while crossing the road to get into her car, she was run over by a speeding car and killed. After her death, she met the Grim Reaper. She lashed out in fury, “You said I had 30 years to live. So why did I die? “
The Grim Reaper replied, “Oh sorry! I didn’t recognize you!”


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The grim reaper approaches Paddy and says, “I’m death!”
Paddy says, “I’ll talk louder then!”


Why is the Grim Reaper so popular in myths and cultures throughout the world?
People are always dying to meet him.


Yo mama so old, she dates the Grim Reaper.


Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?
An ice sickle.


Where will you always be safe from the Grim Reaper?
The living room.


There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One is a well-respected dentist, and the other can’t keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won’t be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he’s unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn’t pick up because his phone is off.
The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals— the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.
The grim reaper swears. “Oh no! This always happens with identical twins”.
“What do you mean?” asks the dentist.
“Well… if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I’ve come to take him to the underworld. I’m afraid his time on Earth has ended. I’ll take my leave now.”
The dentist is noticeably upset. He says “Wait! Isn’t there some way I can challenge you for my brother’s life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly, there must be a way I can bargain for his life.”
The grim reaper asks “What do you have in mind?”
The dentist thinks. “How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free.”
The grim reaper laughs. “I will beat you in any challenge. What challenges do you propose?”
The dentist smiles. “I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minutes of brushing each, then we decide.”
“Very well,” says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.
Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It’s glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper grins. “You are foolish human. But, you are entitled to your chance.”
The dentist takes another toothbrush, loads it with toothpaste, and starts brushing like a madman. When his 5 minutes are up, he spits out the paste. He smiles.
It’s unbelievable.
The shine from the dentist’s teeth is so beautiful that he can see the Grim Reaper’s reflection in his perfectly clean teeth.
The winner is obvious. The grim reaper hangs his head in shame. “You win, human. This time. Your brother will live.” He disappears in a puff of smoke. At the same instant, the bed-ridden brother wakes up in the hospital. Not only is he uninjured, he seems perfectly healthy. Suddenly, the phone by his bed rings. It’s his brother, the dentist. He picks up. “Hey, bro. You’ll never believe what happened. Apparently, I went out to the market and got hit by a car. They say I almost died.”
The dentist smiles on the phone and says. “That’s interesting, bro. Today you might say that I also had a brush with death.”


Why couldn’t the Grim Reaper go to war?
Because he supports all troops.


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What do you call the Grim Reaper’s father’s favorite evil chair?
Death’s Pa’s Seat O’ Doom.


How can you tell the Grim Reaper is a good programmer?
He always executes.


The Grim Reaper appeared beside a lady when she was chopping some carrots in the kitchen.
He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with her.
Later the woman came out and said, “Very scary, when you are dicing with death.”


What kind of music does the Grim Reaper like?
Death metal and Soul.


What is the Grim Reaper’s favorite band?
Sickleback.


The Grim Reaper walks into a room of people and asks, “One person has to die. Who will it be?”
One man says, “I’ll pass”, so the Grim Reaper kills him.


Three men are confronted by the Grim Reaper.
The grim reaper says to the three men, “I will spare your lives if you can each collect 12 pieces of fruit for me.” All three men go their separate ways, and a few minutes later the first guy comes back with 12 oranges.
The grim reaper says, “Before I can spare your life, you must complete one final task: you must shove all 12 pieces of fruit into your ass without displaying any emotion.”
The first guy manages to get three oranges in before giving up. The reaper beheads him.
A few minutes later the second guy comes back with 12 blueberries, and the reaper offers him the same deal. He manages to cram in 11 blueberries before bursting out laughing. The reaper beheads him.
In the afterlife, the first guy asks the second guy, “What happened man? You were so close.”
“I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples.”


How does the Grim Reaper have children?
Reaper-duction.


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What do you call the Grim Reaper with hearing problems?
Deaf.


Why did the Grim Reaper have an eyeball phobia?
Because they dilate.


What do you call people that have been reaped by a Grim Reaper?
Reople.


The Grim Reaper appears before a man who’s standing outside a department store changing room where his wife is inside trying on clothes.
The Grim Reaper says, “You will die of a heart attack in 30 seconds, but don’t worry, because you are going straight to heaven.”
The man, scared and skeptical says, “I never go to church, so how do you know for sure that I’m going to heaven? “
The Grim Reaper replies, “Easy. Satan won’t take people who’ve already been through an eternity in hell!”


Why does the Grim Reaper go on so many dates?
He’s deathperate.


Did you hear about the guy who had a crush on the Grim Reaper?
Heard he beat it to death.


The Grim Reaper was at a spa getting hair removal.
It was a Nair death experience.


There are two identical twin brothers who live together. One is a well-respected dentist, and the other can’t keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won’t be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he’s unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He is in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn’t pick up because his phone is off.
The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals— the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.
The grim reaper swears. “Oh no! This always happens with identical twins”.
“What do you mean?” asks the dentist.
“Well… if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I’ve come to take him to the underworld. I’m afraid his time on Earth has ended. I’ll take my leave now.”
The dentist is noticeably upset. He says “Wait! Isn’t there some way I can challenge you for my brother’s life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly, there must be a way I can bargain for his life.”
The grim reaper asks “What do you have in mind?”
The dentist thinks. “How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free.”
The grim reaper laughs. “I will beat you in any challenge. What challenges do you propose?”
The dentist smiles. “I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minutes of brushing each, then we decide.”
“Very well,” says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.
Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It’s glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper grins. “You are foolish human. But, you are entitled to your chance.”
The dentist takes another toothbrush, loads it with toothpaste, and starts brushing like a madman. When his 5 minutes are up, he spits out the paste. He smiles.
It’s unbelievable.
The shine from the dentist’s teeth is so beautiful that he can see the Grim Reaper’s reflection in his perfectly clean teeth.
The winner is obvious. The grim reaper hangs his head in shame. “You win, human. This time. Your brother will live.” He disappears in a puff of smoke. At the same instant, the bedridden brother wakes up in the hospital. Not only is he uninjured, he seems perfectly healthy. Suddenly, the phone by his bed rings. It’s his brother, the dentist. He picks up. “Hey, bro. You’ll never believe what happened. Apparently, I went out to the market and got hit by a car. They say I almost died.”
The dentist smiles on the phone and says. “That’s interesting, bro. Today you might say that I also had a brush with death.”


What did Keanu Reeves say to the Grim Reaper on his deathbed?
“You’re breathtaking!”


What did the Grim Reaper say to the ill calendar?
“Your days are numbered, my friend.”


What is the Grim Reaper’s favorite food when listening to pop music?
A popsicle.


One day the Grim Reaper came to a man and said, “Your time has come!”
The man begged and pleaded so the Grim Reaper gave him another year to live.
After the year was over the reaper returned but the man was in an airplane. he once again said, “Your time has come.” The man said, “You can’t take me now. What about all these innocent people? they don’t deserve to die.”
“Are you kidding me?” said the reaper. “You know how difficult it way for me to get all of you on the same fucking plane?!”


Grim Reaper was telling jokes to someone,
Until his friend responded, “You’re killing me!”


What’s the Grim Reaper’s best quality?
He is Dead Sexy.


Did you hear that the Grim Reaper is bisexual?
Apparently, death comes for us all.


What do the Grim Reaper and a pedophile have in common?
They both take people before their time.


Do you have a funny Grim Reaper joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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