50 Mahatma Gandhi Jokes You Can’t Share With His Followers

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Jessica Amlee

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As Mahatma Gandhi became more involved in spirituality and politics, he started to alienate his friends. So his English friends from London thought of inviting him to the UK. English friend to Gandhi on call, “For Gary’s bachelor weekend let’s make it a big one so I was thinking….!” Gandhi interrupted by saying, “To celebrate? Why don’t we sit in silence and experience nature’s beauty in harmony with our souls.”
Later at the party, he caused particular problems when the group tried to meet women. Frustrated his friends took matters into their own hands, “We’ve got this little game right here. You have to get in this car here and we go and sit in a pub. Mohan, the game is how long can you stay in that car.” Gandhi tried to prove to his friends that he could be fun as well but arguably took things too far. He got out of the car and announced a speech in the bar. He said, “Peace is very much important but not as important as party time. I may be fasting but there’s one thing I still eat, puss..(and he was cut short).”
Irrespective of the above joke, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi is largely regarded as one of the greatest political and spiritual leaders of the twentieth century. In India, he is regarded as the father of the nation or simply Bapu, having pioneered and implemented the philosophy of Satyagraha—resistance against tyranny via mass nonviolent civil disobedience. In India, Gandhi Jayanti is observed every year on October 2nd to mark Gandhi’s birth anniversary. In the rest of the countries, the day is observed as the International Day of Non-Violence.
So we have put together a list of the best Gandhi jokes of all time to use on Gandhi Jayanti and put a smile on your friend, family or close one’s face.

Funny Gandhi Jokes

What song did Britishers sing while leaving India?
Baapu sehat ke liye Tu toh haanikaarak hai.

Why would have dinner with Mahatma Gandhi?
More food for you.

A vagrant, finding no place on the pavement, parked himself at the feet of a statue of Mahatma Gandhi. At midnight he was woken up by someone gently tapping him with his stick. It was the Mahatma himself. ‘You Indians have been unfair to me,’ complained the benign spirit. “You put my statues everywhere that show me either standing or walking. My feet are very tired. Why can’t I have a horse like the one Chhatrapati Shivaji (an Indian king) has? Surely, I did as much for the nation as he! And you still call me your Bapu (father).”
The next morning the vagrant went around calling on the ministers. At long last he persuaded one to join him for a night-long vigil at the feet of the Mahatma’s statue. Lo and behold, as the neighboring police station gong struck the midnight hour, the Mahatma emerged from his statue to converse with the vagrant. He repeated his complaint of having to stand or walk and his request to be provided a mount like the Chhatrapati.
“Bapu,’ replied the vagrant, “I am too poor to buy you a horse, but I have brought this minister from the Government for you. He …” Bapu looked at the minister and remarked, “I asked for a horse, not a donkey.”

How is 1 Lal Bahadur Shastri equal to 453592 Mahatma Gandhi?
1 lbs = 453592 mg.

Teacher: Chintu, what do you know about Gandhi Jayanti?
Chintu: Teacher! Gandhiji was a great man but trust me I don’t know anything about Jayanti.

Son to father: Dad, was Gandhiji a big thief or an alcoholic?
Father: No son, he was a very noble and honest person. But why are you asking like that?
Son: Then why do they keep banks and liquor shops closed on his birthday?!

If Matama Gandhi decided to open an all-you-can-eat buffet, what would its slogan?
“Gandhi’s, when hunger strikes.”

What would Mahatma Gandhi be if he never returned to India from South Africa in 1915?
Alive. He would be alive.

Why would people always stand still to hide from Mahatma Gandhi?
His vision was based on movements.

Recommended: Gandhi Memes

What do Gandhi and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both fast.

Santa: Why does Bapu keep laughing in every Indian rupee note?
Banta: It’s easy. See if he starts crying then the notes will get wet.

There was just one cinema theater in a backward village.
The village people, though poor were very patriotic. In fact, as a cinema screen, the owner of the theater named the theatre Gandhiji Ki Dhoti.
Now whenever there was a release of a new Bollywood film, the ad appeared in the newspaper something like below:
In Gandhi’s dhoti ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.’
In Gandhi’s dhoti ‘Sholay.’
In Gandhi’s dhoti ‘Anaconda.’
In Gandhi’s dhoti ‘Koi Ml Gaya.’

Who wins a race between Gandhi and Hitler?
Hitler because Gandhi may fast but Hitler was racist.

Why did Mahatma Gandhi get an A in math?
He was good at finding solutions to inequalities.

Why did Gandhi dislike the color purple?
He stood for non violets.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Gandhi: It was in its path Swaraj.

What did Kasturba message Gandhi at night?
“Mere Bapu ne khaana khaaya?”

During the dark times of partition in India, one day Gandhiji received a call.
“Your wife has a**?” said a stranger. Gandhi, annoyed, cut the call without answering.
The phone rang again the next day. “Your wife has a**?” said the same voice. Gandhi was pissed off and said “Idiot!” and cut the phone.
The next day he received a call again. “Your wife has a**?”
Gandhi, now obviously really angry said “If you make another call again, I will complain to the police!”
Notwithstanding the warning, he received a call again. “Your wife has a**?” Gandhi, employing Gandhigiri now, replied “Yes, she has, why?”
The caller replied, “Then take hers, why are you f*cking with the nation’s?”

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How does Gandhi measure passive resistance?
In oooooohms.

Teacher: Tell me what happened in 1869?
Bunty: It was the birth year of Mahatma Gandhi.
Teacher: Well done, sit down.
Teacher to Pappu: What happened in 1872?
Pappu: Gandhiji turned 3 years old.

A man goes to Gandhi and asks him, “Why don’t you take revenge on those that hurt you?”
Gandhi smiles and calmly says, “Look at me, even If I want to, do I look like I f*cking can?!”

What was Gandhi’s favorite vegetable?

Have you heard about the time when Gandhi once got into a food fight?
It was naan violence.

Gandhi’s Mum: How much do you Love me?
Gandhi: From the bottom of Mahatma (Mah Heart Ma).

Why was Gandhi thrown out of the orchestra?
He rejected the violins.

Why doesn’t the fat acceptance movement have a Gandhi?
No one is willing to go on a hunger strike for the cause.

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch in the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, “Mr. Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.” Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. “Mr. Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”
Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?”
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”
Mr. Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor, and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

What’s the similarity between Gandhi and a Bra?
They both work for the upliftment of the downtrodden.

What did Gandhi say while having dinner with the Queen of England?
“Could you pass the salt?”

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What did Gandhi say to the British after they asked him to move?
Nah, mastay.

What did Gandhi’s coach yell while Gandhi was running in the 100 meter dash?
Faster, faster!

Why didn’t Gandhi repair his broken arm?
Because he fought the Caste system.

Son: Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald?
Dad: Because he always spoke the truth?
Son: Oh! That’s why women have long hair.”

What is the most legendary quote from Mahatma Gandhi?
“History is not created by those who browse in incognito mode.”

Once, Mahatma Gandhi was on a visit to the Mental Hospital. He bumped into a patient who had recovered by then
Gandhiji asked him, “So, how are you now?”
“I feel better. Tell me what’s your name?”
“Mohandas Gandhi.”
“I, too, was saying this before getting admitted to the hospital!”

Teacher: What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?
Arun: Dineshan.
Teacher: Why?
Arun: Because Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan.

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Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they’re really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says, “I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car depends on how many kids you had when you were alive.”
The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies, “Well, that’s not too many.”
And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates.
The second person says that he had 5 children.
“That’s a lot!” And whips him up a broken down Ford Model T.
Mahatma Gandhi had to get to the Gates by foot. The two other people were waiting for him there. They asked why he had to do that since he had only 4 children when he was alive.
Gandhi said, “Some idiot told him I am the father of my country!”

Man to his kid: Son, your mother is a vegetarian. She eats vegetables.
Son: Okay. That’s true!
Man: I’m a pescatarian. I eat fish.
Son: Yes, right.
Man: If you see Gandhi, you should run the other way.
Son: Umm..uh why?
Man: He’s a humanitarian.

Why are Indian mothers shocked by Gandhiji?
Rarely does any Indian parent who picks up a stick preach non-violence.

Why was Gandhi thrown out of an Indian bakery?
He was widely known for being naan-violent.

Indian PM Narendra Modi was crying alone.
Then suddenly Mahatma Gandhi came there.
Gandhi asked Modi the reason for crying.
Modi said, “Some people like Nirav and Lalit are spoiling my surname.”
Gandhi took a long breath and said, “Look at me. Am I crying too?”

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Remember when Gandhi was on his first hunger strike?
People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don’t understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.

What type of fashion was Gandhi into?
Fast Fashion.

Why doesn’t India celebrate Halloween?
No Gandhi (candy).

Why was Mahatma Gandhi strange?
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

“It’s easy to stand in the crowd, but it takes courage to stand alone,” said Mahatma Gandhi.
“It’s easy to stand alone but it takes courage to stand in a crowd,” said Covid-19.

What was Gandhi’s favorite kind of candle?

Why was Gandhi born between Chile and Japan?
Because he was Pacific.

Have a better joke on Mahatma Gandhi? Let us know your funny Gandhi Jayanti puns and one-liners in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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