Everybody has a favorite relative that we look forward to seeing when they come to visit our home. You may have cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and more but one of my favorite relatives is my uncle Erik. When my uncle came around he always laughed and played with us. He would always take us out and treat us to cool snacks. He would also tell us funny jokes and cool stories about his time in the military.
Memorial Day is one of my favorite holidays because it’s not just about having a 3-day weekend but hanging out with my uncle and seeing how important it was for him to be in the military. Along with Uncle Erik, we have created some of the funniest Memorial Day Jokes for everyone to enjoy!
Best Memorial Day Jokes
Which day do Alzheimer’s patients forget?
Memorial Day.
How do army guys greet each other on Memorial Day?
They say “helo!”
What is the US doing on Memorial Day weekend?
The same thing they are doing all other weekends, taking over the world.
What do army guys say when they forget Memorial Day?
Ah, shoot!
What is the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day?
Memorial Day remembers people who died in wars while Veteran’s Day honors those that survived.
What is your favorite Memorial Day tradition?
Spilling BBQ sauce on white pants.
How much space do these Memorial Day jokes require?
A Gigglebyte.
A young army officer died and went to heaven. At Pearly Gates, he was welcomed by Saint Peter. But the officer was not going in. he said, “I will only enter it on one condition if you assure me that there are no Regimental sergeant major.” St. Peters assured him by saying,” Don’t worry, they never make it till here.”
The officer went into paradise and is taking a stroll when he notices a man flaunting around in a military dress, complete with a Sam Browne belt and pace-stick, in the distance. “You told me there are no RSMs here,” the officer returns to St Peter, “but I just saw one!” “Don’t worry,” St Peter replies, “it’s only God – he thinks he’s an RSM.”
Did you hear about the man who got his car’s AC fixed after Memorial Day?
He came back singing “Freon isn’t Free.”
At a 10-year high school reunion, a serviceman and a lawyer walk into the men’s room. After using the urinal, the serviceman zips up and heads for the door. The young lawyer while using the sink states, “Wow, had you gone to college maybe you would have learned to wash your hands!”
The serviceman simply replies, “In the military, they taught us not to get piss on our hands.”
Why don’t soldiers play hide and seek on Memorial Day?
Because good luck hiding when everyone’s off duty!
Why was the Memorial Day barbecue so lively?
Because the grill sergeant was in charge!
What’s a ghost soldier’s favorite food on Memorial Day?
Boo-burgers!
Recommended: Memorial Day Memes
What is the best Memorial Day Sales pitch?
To remember the millions of brave soldiers who died for our country, we’re giving you 30% off on all corduroy pants and toaster ovens.
What would be America without its soldiers?
A god without its angels.
In hell, an Australian, American, and Vietnamese soldier decided to call their home to let them know of its awful conditions. Finally, they reached Satan and requested so.
The first turn was of the American. Satan charged him $100 for the call.
The second turn was of the Australian. Satan charged him $20 for the call since Australia was less developed than the US.
The last turn was of the Vietnamese. Satan charged him a quarter. This angered both the Australian and American. They complained about the unfair treatment. To which Satan casually replied,” The Vietnamese’s call was a local one while both of you made international calls.”
What’s the favorite thing about Memorial Day for employees?
Saying to co-workers, “See you next Tuesday.”
Little Johnny was talking with his friend on Memorial Day.
Little Johnny: One of the best qualities of my grandfather was that he never threw anything away.
Friend: God bless him, how did he die in war?
Johnny: He was killed while holding on to a hand grenade.
What do army guys read on Memorial Day?
Magazine.
On Memorial Day, the teacher asked the students, ”Do you know why God created wars?”
Someone among students: To teach us, geography?!
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Memorial Day was BBQ day.
Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes
A week before Memorial Day, students bring photos of military family members to the school to show and share about them.
First was Jane, she said,” My father was a Combat Engineer.”
“A combat engineer?” asked the astonished teacher.
“Yes, look at the gear he is holding in his right hand.”
Erick said,” My father was a Marine Raider.”
“A Marine Raider?” asked the moved teacher.
“Yes, look at the insignia, an eagle with outstretched wings carrying a dagger in its talons and a shield with the five stars.”
“This is my great grandfather,” said little Johnny. He was a combat-trained electrician.”
“An electrician?” asked the confused teacher.
“All right, here.” The two lightning bolts on his head are visible.”
How can you offend a close relative of a fallen soldier on Memorial Day?
Wish them “Happy Memorial Day.”
Why does the US military use digital camo?
They turned down the graphics for better performance.
What’s the nicest part about having the day off on Memorial Day?
There will be three days without a school shooting.
Which month do soldiers dread the most?
March.
Do you know that The Air Force is the most patriotic arm of the US military?
Because they’re USAF.
Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran?
Yeah, he fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM!
Why are there no knock-knock jokes on Memorial Day?
Because freedom rings!
Recommended: Army Recruiter Memes
What is the favorite holiday of a cow?
Mooooomorial day.
A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him.
“What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman.
“All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked.
The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.”
The little boy considered that and then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
Friend: What are your Memorial Day weekend plans?
The other friend: I forgot what to do!
When a soldier collides with a Korean car, what do you call it?
KIA.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army officer?
A flat major.
The upcoming Memorial Day Weekend provided an opportunity for the nursery school teacher to speak to her students about patriotism. She stated, “We live in a wonderful country.” “One of the things we should be grateful for is that we are all free in this country.” From the back of the room, one small boy approached her. “I’m not free,” he said, standing with his hands on his hips. I’m four.”
What was Bin Laden’s most recent Facebook status?
Be right back someone at the door
Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theatres?
Due to censor-ship.
What type of art is the favorite of the US Military?
Oil paintings.
Recommended: Military Jokes
Why was the soldier thrown out of the cooking school?
He cooked a grenade!
What fruit do soldiers hate?
The Pommegranade.
In the military, how do you refer to children?
Infantry.
A hungry soldier is exploring the forest when he spots a bacon tree up ahead. He excitedly runs towards it when he is shot.
His mistake was that it wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a hambush.
What is the last thing that went through a soldier’s mind before he died?
A 5.56mm bullet.
What do you call a dead soldier?
A marine corpse.
An injured American soldier is boarding a train to the hospital, but the train is full because a woman and her dog took up the last two seats.
The man says to the woman, “Would you please mind taking up only one seat? You don’t need two separate seats for you and your dog.” But the woman refuses. Then the man tells the woman that he is exhausted from the war and is injured, and the last seat on the train isn’t too much to ask for, yet the woman still refuses.
The man gets extremely angry and forcefully picks up the woman’s dog, throws it out the window, and sits down in the last seat.
A British man sitting next to him starts getting angry and starts yelling at the American soldier, “You Americans have terrible manners and drive me crazy! Americans like you drive on the wrong side of the road, use the wrong measuring system, write dates in the wrong order, and most importantly, you threw the wrong bitch out the window!”
Recommended: Veterans Day Jokes
What do you call Saddam Hussein’s father, who is 99 years old?
SoDamInsane.
I wished everyone a Happy Memorial Day..
None of them responded!
Why are soldiers like nude photos?
The best ones get taken down.
Got a better Memorial Day joke? Let us know your puns about Memorial Day in the comment section below!
