50 Funny Mermaid Jokes And Puns That Are Little Hilarious

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Jessica Amlee

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Mermaids are mythical creatures that are generally represented as having a human upper body and a fish lower body. They are frequently shown as attractive and appealing, and they are frequently associated with the sea and aquatic life.

Mermaids are reported to be able to sing beautifully and to be fascinated by people in numerous myths and stories. Mermaids are frequently featured as characters in books, movies, and television shows in modern popular culture, and they are frequently shown as possessing magical powers or talents. It is vital to note, however, that mermaids are simply mythical beings that do not exist in reality.

These are also a popular subject of myths and legends, and joking about them can be a way to playfully reference these stories and cultural references called mermaid jokes. Additionally, the concept of a mermaid – a human-like being with the lower body of a fish – can lend itself to humorous wordplay and puns.

Best Mermaid Jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They out grew their b-shells.

Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red-faced and embarrassed?
Because her algaebra didn’t hold up.

Who is the little mermaid’s favorite musician?
Mariana Grande.

Why don’t mermaids play badminton?
They might get caught in the net.

How does a pregnant mermaid give birth?

How does it become pregnant in the first place?
Artifishial inseamenation.

What’s the opposite of a mermaid?
Land Ho!

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?
He had allure.

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?
They’re both under DC.

Did you guys hear about the half of a mermaid that washed up on shore?
It’s only a tale.

Why was The Little Mermaid directed by a pilot?
Because it’s mostly Ariel footage.

Where do mermaids go to watch movies?
The dive in.

What does a mermaid wash her tail with?

Who keeps the ocean clean?
A mermaid.

Why did the mermaid blush?
She saw the ocean’s bottom.

If mermaid is woman then what do you call a man version of mermaid?

What do you call a religious mermaid?
A mermon.

How do you know a mermaid has a successful business?
She’s swimming in money.

Did you hear about the mermaid who decided to join human society?
Despite her efforts, others still viewed her as a fish out of water.

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a very small head.
After a few beers, the man asks the other person, “Hey, I’m not trying to be disrespectful, but how come you have such a little head?”
The man responds, “It’s a bittersweet story, to be sure. When I was in the army, my plane was shot down in the Pacific. I jumped out of a plane and landed on a remote island. After a few months on this isolated island, a gorgeous mermaid arrived out of nowhere and gave me three wishes. My first wish is to be saved from this island, I told her.”
“A rescue boat will locate you tomorrow,” the Mermaid stated.
My second wish is to be wealthy for the rest of my life.”
The Mermaid said, “Invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man… And what is your final wish?”
“Well Mermaid, you know I’ve been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I’d wish for nothing more than to sleep with you.”
The Mermaid sighed and said, “I cannot grant you that wish, you see I’m a half fish, it would not work.”
Frustrated, the man said, “Well how about a little head then?”

What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Why was the mermaid couple so indecisive?
Because they both refused to wear the pants in the relationship.

What are gay mermen afraid of?

Why did the heavyset mermaid wear a turtleneck?
So you wouldn’t sea urchins.

What’s a mermaid’s favorite drug?

Why did the mermaid stop dieting?
She was too fin.

Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?
They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.

How does a mermaid say hello to someone?
Sea waves.

Why are sailors obsessed with mermaids?
Because they’re quite the CATCH.

How come mermaids are always so pretty?
Cosmetic sturgeons.

What do mermaids have for lunch?
Fish and ships.

Paddy English man, an Irishman, and a Welshman. They come to see a mermaid sitting on a rock. They have never seen a more lovely creature.
“Have you ever been kissed?” asks an Englishman. The mermaid is coy and says no. He kisses her on the cheek gently. A Welshman stands forward and asks if you’ve ever been hugged. When the mermaid says no again, he hugs her.
Irish man rocks up and asks, “Ever been fucked?” The mermaid goes a bit red in the face and says no. To which the Irish man replies, “You are now, the tides gone out.”

What do you call male mermaids?
Sea men.

If Merman’s best friend is dogfish, what’s Mermaid’s best friend?
Sea cucumber.

Why couldn’t the little mermaid get into college?
Her GPA was unda da C.

How do we know a blind man created mermaids?
He smelled the bottom half of a woman.

What do you call violent mermaids?

How do mermaids talk to each other?
On shellphones.

What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?
Sushi roll.

Where do mermaids go to make sweet love?
The seabed.

Why did the new Little Mermaid actress have to be someone without any cosmetic enhancements?
Because there is enough plastic in the ocean already.

Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?
On line.

Two English gentlemen are fishing on a boat.
The one receives a tremendous pull on his line while they are both fishing in silence, as gentlemen do. He takes a gorgeous mermaid out of the sea after some fighting. While holding her, he examines her from head to tail: top half lady, bottom half fish.
The mermaid looks him in the eyes with an amorous expression. He then drops her back into the water without saying anything.
His friend, in complete disbelief, exclaims, “But why?”
To which the first replies, “But how?”

What made the mermaid chuckle, according to the octopus?
Ten tickles.

What was the mermaid doing at the bottom of the sea?
She dropped out of school.

What do you call a lesbian mermaid?
An h2omosexual.

What do you call a redneck mermaid?
A Gillbilly.

Recommended: Dolphin Jokes

What do you call a mermaid’s flying boob?
Ariel’s aerial areola.

Kid: Dad, are mermaids fish or women?
Dad: It depends on if you are horny or hungry.

What did the mermaid wear to her math class?
An algae bra.

Have a better mermaid joke? Post your own aquatic puns and one-liners in the comment section!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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