Penguins are those tuxedo-wearing birds who march around like tiny butlers on an icy floor, completely unaware they’re the most stylish creatures in Antarctica. They can’t fly, but they waddle with such confidence that it feels like they’ve never even considered needing wings. After all, when you’ve got a permanent suit and a natural slide built into your home, life’s already a party. This is where the magic of Penguin Jokes begins, because how can one take such a serious-looking bird seriously!
The funniest part is that penguins act like they’re heading to an important meeting, but it’s just a swim. They slip, tumble, and pop back up like nothing happened, making them natural comedians. That’s why Penguin Jokes work so well, the birds already do half the job for you.

Best Penguin Jokes

A penguin walks into an airport.
An Airport Security Officer stops him and says, “Penguins can’t fly.”

What’s invisible and smells like fish?
Penguin farts.

I just finished writing my book on penguins.
My publisher said it would’ve been better if I’d written it on paper.

What’s black and white and black and white and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Frost.
(Frost who?)
Frost bite may be a problem, but not for us penguins!

How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.

What do you call a penguin’s smile?
A penGRIN.

What does the penguin waiter say?
“Waddle’ll it be?”

A penguin was hospitalized!
He was bi-polar.

One day, a Cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van and walks up to the window, where he sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did, today we are going to the beach!”

Recommended: Parrot Jokes

Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!

What’s the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?
White penguins are walking towards you and black ones are walking away.

What is the opposite of a Penguin
A Penglose.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought fish to feed to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Why did the ostrich, the emu, the turkey, and the penguin get let out on bail?
Cause they weren’t much of a flight risk.

Why are penguins so awkward at parties?
Because they can’t break the ice.

A man rushes into a bar and screams at the bartender, “How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender looks at him weirdly and says, “Excuse me?”
The man repeats, “How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender motions with his hands. “Uh, about this high.”
The color drains from the man’s face as he says, “Oh shit, I just ran over a nun.”

American politics is like a penguin.
It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.

Why don’t you ever see penguins in England?
They’re afraid of Wales.

Recommended: Owl Jokes

A pair of cows was talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Yo mama so fat, even penguins are jealous of the way she waddles.

Who is a penguin’s favorite relative?
His Aunt Arctica.

Why can a penguin never become an uncle?
Because he has no knees.

What kind of sunglasses do penguins prefer?
Polarized.

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg.
When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks, “Thank goodness you’re around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?”
The narwhal stares at him for a bit and then says, “Ok, so what are your hobbies?”

A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar.
Bartender says, “What are we even paying the bouncer for?”

Recommended: Duck Jokes

How do penguins open windows?
They drink wine.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Interrupting penguin.
(Interrupting penguin who?)
Penguin! Penguin!

A chicken, a penguin, and an ostrich walked into a bar…
…and the rest of the birds laughed.

Name four animals that live in Antarctica.
Three penguins and a seal.

A man goes to the doctor with a penguin on his head.
The doc asks. “And what can I do for you?”
Penguin replies, “Well, Doc. It started as a growth on my foot….”

What’s a penguin’s favorite type of pasta?
Penguine.

Where do penguins sit at work?
In ice cubicles.

Recommended: Peacock Jokes

What do you call a lone penguin?
A penguout.

What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?
The penguin who pushed him!

Why do penguins wear glasses?
To help with their ice-sight.

An Antarctic Scientist went to the South Pole to research the penguins.
With the recent Google Translate’s ability to translate Penguish, he started asking the penguins questions.
“What are your daily activities?”
“Swim, sunbathe, eat, sleep, beatbox”
The scientist felt a bit strange, but he kept asking other penguins.
Time flies. He interviewed 99 penguins, and all of them gave the same answer. When it came to the 100th, the answer was different,
“Swim, sunbathe, eat, sleep.”
“Well, you don’t beatbox?”
“I am Box.”

You know you just can’t tell Penguin jokes.
They just don’t fly.

Why was the penguin late to his own wedding?
He had cold feet.

What do you call a penguin with a smoking problem?
It’s a puffin!

A penguin walks into a bar.
It says to the bartender, “Hey man, I’m looking for my brother. Have you seen him?”
The bartender says, “I’m not sure. What does he look like?”

Recommended: Turkey Jokes

Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.
That means..
The oily bird gets the warm.

Where does a penguin hide his money?
A snow bank!

Who was Penguin’s grandmother?
Granny DeVito.

How do you get in touch with a penguin?
Give them a wing!

Why don´t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.

What do penguins drink out of?
Beakers!

What do Penguins have for lunch?
Icebergers.

Recommended: Adult Penguin Jokes

Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!

What do penguins wear on their feet at night time?
Slippers.

Why do polar bears and penguins not get on?
Because they are polar opposites!