Rainbows, nature’s own art installation, splash vibrant hues across the sky after a cheeky downpour. Often seen as Earth’s own filter before the advent of Instagram, these stunning arcs have dazzled us with their dazzling palette of ROYGBIV – that’s Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet for those of you who snoozed through Art class. While some folks eagerly hunt for pots of gold at the end, others (sadly) are just trying to find a spot where it doesn’t rain on their picnic.
Now, why would anyone crack a joke about such a breathtaking natural phenomenon? Because they’re irresistibly colorful in every sense! Rainbows, being the universal symbol of hope, magic, and surprise (and let’s not forget Pride!), make an easy canvas for good ribbing. Joking about rainbows is like playing with a kaleidoscope of comedy; there’s a twist, a turn, and a whole spectrum of laughs to explore. Plus, in a world where every cloud doesn’t necessarily come with a silver lining, at least with rainbow jokes, we’re guaranteed a giggle at the end of the story!
Best Rainbow Jokes
How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much, they’re pretty light.
Where do bad rainbows go?
Yo mama is so fat when she steps on a rainbow, skittles pop out!
Did you hear about the kid who was supposed to write a thousand words on acid in his chemistry homework?
He tried, but his pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
SOMBRERO-VER THE RAINBOW!
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
What do you call a rainbow that’s holding back?
Yo mama so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere, over the rainbow.
A pilot passed through a rainbow on his flight test.
He passed with flying colors.
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What did Lieutenant Worf say when he made rainbow T-shirts with his son?
“Today is a good day to dye!”
What do you call a magician wearing a rainbow colored suit?
Did you see the rainbow and thought there was a color in it you’d never seen before?
But it was just a pigment of your imagination.
A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.
The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside, and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
Why did the rainbow cross the road?
To get to the other hue!
Yo mama so white, when she appeared on Reading Rainbow, they got rid of the rainbow.
How much does a Rainbow Cost?
Not much, it’s pretty light.
Did you hear about the family who got a rainbow-colored marine mammal plushie?
They named it Hue-manatee.
Rover the rainbow!
What makes a rainbow so special?
It’s on the spectrum.
What do you call a rainbow without any colors?
What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow?
What’s Ed Sheeran’s favorite Lucky Charms?
The Rainbow and Horseshoe. He’s in love with the shape of U.
A man took his dad shopping for some new shoes.
He’s 86 and found it quite tiring so they stopped for a coffee and a sandwich. While sitting there some teenagers sat at the table next to them.
One of them had a Mohican hairdo that was dyed all the colors of the rainbow and the dad wouldn’t stop staring at him.
Eventually, the boy got fed up with this and asked the dad sarcastically, “What is your problem old man haven’t you ever done anything wild just for fun?”
The dad, without missing a beat, replied, “I got drunk once in my 20s and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!”
What can Skittles do that guys can’t?
Come in a rainbow of flavors.
Who is the Greek goddess of rainbows?
What weapon does an archer use when the weather is bad?
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Samwhere over the rainbow!
What is the sound of a rainbow laughing?
Hue hue hue hue.
Why is the rainbow curved?
Because it is not straight.
How do you make a rainbow sheep?
Name it jeb_
What clothes do rainbows wear?
A guy is out for a walk and sees a rainbow.
He decides to find the end of the rainbow to see if he can really find a pot of gold. So he follows the rainbow to the end, and is surprised to find, rather than a pot, a leprechaun standing there. The leprechaun says, “I’ll give you a pot of gold, but there’s one condition.”
“What’s that?” replies the guy, already counting up his millions in his mind.
“You have to let me fuck you up the ass,” says the leprechaun.
Faced with a dilemma, the straight rainbow-chaser mulls over the situation. “It’ll probably hurt like hell,” he thinks, “but I’ll just think of something else, it’ll be all over before I know it, and I’ll walk away a rich man.”
So the guy agrees to that condition. He drops trou and bends over. The leprechaun hops up onto a nearby tree stump and starts plowing away. Mid-thrust, the leprechaun suddenly blurts out, “How old are you?”
“Umm, thirty-eight,” the guy manages to grunt out.
“Really? Thirty-eight? And you STILL believe in leprechauns?”
What is a cat’s favorite color in the rainbow?
Purrrrrple of course.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
If you were to wrap a cloud as a gift, what would you wrap it with?
What do clouds like to wear?
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
“Oh no! My arch nemesis!”
Why are good friends like rainbows?
Because they always show their true colors.
Why did the unicorn cross the road?
To make the rainbow connection!
Why were the warm colors of the rainbow jealous?
Because green blue purple.
Why are there more white gay people than any other race?
Because white light splits into rainbow colors.
A wife comes home in a hurry.
She tells her husband, “Honey, I’m late for my gynecologist appointment! Don’t have time to shower and shave, I’ll just wash down there and I’ll go”. 5 min later she rushes out the door.
When she returns, she’s angry as hell, “That son of a bitch, he’s been my doctor for ten years, one time I go without shaving, and he acts like a dick. Can you believe he actually said to me, ‘Oh, Misses C., you really prepared yourself today for me!’ I’m never going there again! What a jerk!”
In this angry eruption, their 4-year-old daughter walks into the room, “Hey mommy, did you see all the rainbow glitter I put in your towel when you were washing?”
Why is Ed Sheeran’s favourite cereal rainbow lucky charms?
He’s in love with the shape of U!
Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?
It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.
What’s a rainbow’s favorite Physics topic?
What do you call the ban on same-sex marriage?
Rainbow Sex Seize.
What do you call a gay couple laying on top of each other?
A double rainbow.
What do you call a rainbow bowel movement?
Can’t say a lot, but that’s some gay shit right there.
What do you call a gay metal-head who’s still in the closet?
A rainbow in the dark.
What do you call a gay Irishman?
A double rainbow.
What did the gay gamer call his butt?
His Rainbow Six!
Did you hear about the parents whose kids will be friends with people of all colors of the rainbow?
That means no black people.
What do you call allies who color things in rainbows to show support for Pride?
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Why is Rainbow Road considered gay?
Because the racers don’t drive straight.
Why was the leprechaun at the gay man’s funeral?
It was the end of the rainbow.
Who travels in rainbow coloured Tardis?
Do you have a funny rainbow joke? Write down your own rainbow puns in the comment section below!