Halloween is that one night when the streets are filled with tiny ghosts, superheroes, and princesses all racing from door to door with buckets bigger than their heads. Kids love the thrill of costumes, glowing pumpkins, and of course, the sweet mountain of candy that somehow always disappears faster than parents expect. While the spooky vibe is everywhere, it’s really all about fun, and that’s where Halloween Jokes (especially for kids) step in to make the night even more exciting.
As the costumes get sillier and the candy bags heavier, kids start giggling even more when they hear playful jokes that match the festive chaos. Laughter bounces around like bouncing candy wrappers, turning scary decorations into harmless fun. These jokes keep the mood light, letting everyone enjoy the spooks without any real scares. It’s like the secret ingredient that makes the holiday feel more magical, keeping children entertained long after the last “trick-or-treat” has been shouted.
Kid-Friendly Halloween Jokes
Who turns the lights off at Halloween?
The light’s witch!
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein!
Why does a ghost hate getting caught in the rain?
It dampens his spirits.
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Olive.
(Olive who?)
Olive Halloween!
How did the skeleton know that it was going to rain on Halloween?
He could feel it in his bones.
It’s a good thing that the Ghostbusters don’t charge a lot of money.
Because if you couldn’t pay, they’d have to come back and re-possess your house.
What did the pumpkin say at the end of Halloween?
“Good-pie everyone!”
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Coffin.
(Coffin who?)
Coffin from all the dust in here!
What do you call a werewolf that doesn’t know he’s a werewolf?
An unawarewolf.
Why do black cats prefer wizards to witches?
Sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.
Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house?
He was homesick.
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Did you hear about the tense mummy?
It was all wound up!
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
“Don’t worry! It’s just a phase it’s going through!”
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Witch.
(Witch who?)
Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
Why did the witch’s cat scratch her?
Because they were in a bad mewd!
What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween?
Winnie the Boo!
How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.
What did the ghost do at the red light?
He came to a dead stop.
How do skeletons say hello?
“Bonejour!”
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!
How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
On vine-yl.
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Do mummies like being mummies?
Of corpse!
Why was the witch’s broom late?
It over swept!
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Boo.
(Boo who?)
Ah, don’t cry, Halloween is just around the corner!
What can you catch from a vampire in wintertime?
Frost-bite!
Why doesn’t the skeleton like Halloween candy?
He just doesn’t have the stomach for it.
Where is the ghost family planning their annual reunion?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a werewolf that is missing?
Wherewolf.
Is it very bad luck to see a black cat?
That depends if you’re a mouse or a human.
Why did the linguini join the Ghostbusters?
Because it wasn’t alfredo no ghost!
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What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What do surfers say on Halloween?
“Gourd vibes only, bro.”
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Frank.
(Frank who?)
Frankenstein’s Monster!
How do mummies hide?
They use masking tape.
Where do witches bake their cakes?
In the coven!
What do vampires cross the sea in?
Blood vessels.
Why do all the ghosts mostly dislike rainy Halloween?
Because it wets their spirits.
What do zombie cows say?
“Grains.”
What do ghosts serve at dinner parties?
Poultry-geist.
What do skeletons say before they begin eating?
“Bone appetite.”
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What does a bird say at Halloween?
Twick or tweet.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Pulp fiction.
What did one pyramid say to the other?
“How’s your mummy!”
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Phillip.
(Phillip who?)
Phillip my bag with candy!
What do you call two witches who live together?
Broom-mates!
What do you call a Werewolf YouTuber?
Lycansubscribe.
Why did the spider borrow a car?
So he could take it out for a spin.
Where do ghosts go when they want to surf?
The Dead Sea.
What happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?
Something dawns on you.
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What do vampires have at eleven o’clock every day?
A coffin break.
What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
Lazy bones.
What do you call a zombie who writes music?
A decomposer.
Where do pumpkins hold their meetings?
The gourd room.
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Adam.
(Adam who?)
The Addams family!
What Thanksgiving side dish could be given out at Halloween?
Candied yams.
What did Pharaoh say when he saw the pyramid?
“Mummy’s home!”
What’s the problem with twin witches?
You never know witch is which!
What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house?
Fettuccini Afraido.
What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
“Trick or trout!”
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What is a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument?
A trombone.
What did the taxi driver say to the wolf on Halloween night?
“Werewolf.”
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A blood test!
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Wolvesly.
(Wolvesly who?)
Wolves say Happy “Howl”oween!
What do you call it when a zombie hands you a gift?
A dead give away!
What do you call an undercover tarantula?
A spy-der.
What happens if you eat too much pumpkin?
You get autumn’y ache.
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!
What job do mummies do during the holidays?
They’re gift wrappers.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
What kind of horse do ghosts ride?
A night-mare.
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Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Voodoo.
(Voodoo who?)
Voodoo you think you are!
What’s the best way to talk to a monster?
From a distance.
What don’t people like vampires?
Because they suck!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Because it had to go to the Body Shop!
What kind of music do mummies like?
Wrap.
Why don’t zombies eat ghost?
They taste like sheet.
Who did the ghost take to the Halloween party?
A ghoul-friend!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
What’s a witch’s favourite make-up?
Ma-scare-a!
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Annie.
(Annie who?)
Annie body home?
What do you get if you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference?
Pumpkin pi.
Why are spiders like tops?
They’re constantly spinning.
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What is Bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.
What’s a vampire’s favorite sport?
Batminton.
Why don’t mummies go on camping?
They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
Why didn’t the skeleton dance?
Because he had no body to dance with!
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween?
They only run a skeleton service.
What room does a ghost not need in a house?
A living room.
What do you learn at witch school?
Spelling!
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Diane.
(Diane who?)
Diane to meet you!
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Why does Cinderella always lose at tennis?
Because her coach is a pumpkin.
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Where do vampires keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do ghosts put on their turkey?
Grave-y.
Why is Fortnite so popular on Halloween?
Because all of the hills are haunted!
What’s scarier than a werewolf?
A herewolf.
What do you call a witch with chickenpox?
An itchy witchy!
What does Godzilla drive?
A monster truck!
What did one spider say to the other spider?
“Let’s hang out.”
What do you call a chubby Jack o ‘lantern?
A plumpkin.
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Goblin.
(Goblin who?)
Goblin up all the candy!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
He couldn’t stop coffin.
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What do the fastest witches use to get around?
Vroomsticks!
Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
Dracula’s dentist.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!
Why was the jack o’ lantern afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts.
How do ghosts apply makeup before going trick-or-treating?
They use vanishing cream.
How do pumpkins greet each other?
“Happy Hollowing!”
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ice scream.
(Ice scream who?)
Ice scream on Halloween!
Why did a family ignore the kids knocking on their door on Halloween asking for sweets?
They were ghosting them.
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was out-standing in his field.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled!
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Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
What did the monster eat after having his teeth out?
The dentist.
How did the zombie get so good at trick-or-treating?
Dead-ication.
Why are vampires so unpopular?
Because they are pains in the neck!
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Aida.
(Aida who?)
Aida the whole pumpkin pie!
What do you call it when you have too many spiders in your house?
A no-fly zone.
Why are jack o’ lanterns so forgetful?
Because they’re empty-headed.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite holiday food?
Stuffing.
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray!
Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster Halloween party?
Everyone there was a goblin.
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How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried!
What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
A pumpkin patch.
Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Hugo.
(Hugo who?)
Hugo put this costume on now!
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away her W!
What do owls say when they go trick-or-treating?
“Happy Owl-ween!”
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Did you hear about the wolves’ all-night Halloween party?
If you didn’t, it was a howling success!
What do you call a clown who is smart with his money?
Pennywise.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
What is a spider’s favorite part of a computer?
The webcam.
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Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
Tyson.
(Tyson who?)
Tyson garlic around your neck to ward off vampires!
Which kind of building should you stay clear of on a full moon?
A warehouse.
Why did the cyclops give up teaching?
They only had one pupil.
Do you have a funny Halloween Joke? Write down your best kid-friendly ones in the comment section below!
What did one pumpkin say to the other after the halloween party?
We got lit last night!
What type of wood celebrates Halloween?
Bamboo!
Why did the spider buy a new computer?
So he could get on the web!