40 Funny Advent Calendar Jokes And Puns For Christmas

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Jessica Amlee

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An Advent calendar is like a festive countdown clock, building anticipation for Christmas day with its little doors or pockets for each day of December leading up to the 25th. Originally, these calendars were a way for children to count the days to the arrival of Santa Claus, often revealing a sweet chocolate or a small gift hidden behind each door. Today, they range from simple paper designs to elaborate boxes filled with everything from toys to gourmet treats, becoming a cherished holiday tradition that adds a sprinkle of daily excitement to the season of joy.

Advent calendar jokes, tucked behind those tiny doors, bring a daily dose of laughter to the holiday hustle. Imagine peeling back a door to unveil not just a piece of candy, but a pun or a playful joke that wraps humor in a bow of holiday cheer. These little jests are like the tinsel on the tree or the star on top – not essential, but they sure make the whole experience a lot more fun. They’re a reminder that while the holiday season can be hectic, there’s always time for a chuckle before the next round of merry-making begins.

Best Advent Calendar Jokes

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered.

Did you hear about the Russian advent calendar?
Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.

Did you hear about a Government immigration policy advent calendar?
The door is wide open and they can’t fugging close it.

Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius advent calendar made by Smirnoff?
There’s a shot behind every door.

Microsoft has released a festive advent calendar this Christmas.
No chocolates just a load of fugging updates every time you open your windows.

A man bought a Jehovah’s witness advent calendar.
Every time he opens a door on it someone tells him to fugg off.

Did you hear that Starbucks is issuing a new cup size for Christmas?
It’s called the Adventi.

What do you call an Advent calendar for cats?
A purr-petual countdown.

Why did the Advent calendar go to therapy?
It couldn’t deal with its many dates.

How does the Advent calendar feel by Christmas?
All empty inside.

What do you get if you cross an Advent calendar with a shark?
A fin-tastic countdown to Christmas!

What did the Advent calendar say after a long day?
“That’s a wrap for today!”

Why don’t secret agents use Advent calendars?
They can’t stand the suspense!

What’s the Advent calendar’s favorite music?
Wrap music!

Why did the gingerbread man have an Advent calendar?
He wanted to keep track of the days he was still fresh.

Recommended: Gingerbread Man Jokes

What do you call an Advent calendar for coffee lovers?
A latte countdown.

How did the Advent calendar break up with its girlfriend?
It said, “Our time is up; I can’t date you past the 25th.”

Why was the Advent calendar so productive?
It was always counting down to something.

Have you heard about the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ advent calendar?
Behind every door is a guy telling you to f#ck off.

What’s the problem with the Microsoft advent calendar?
Once you’ve opened 3 or 4 windows, you won’t be able to open anymore.

Came home to find all the doors and windows open, and everything gone.
“What kind of sicko does that to someone’s advent calendar?”

Did you hear about the guy that stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

What’s up with some advent calendars that only have days that end in 1,3,5,7,9?
That’s odd.

Did you hear about the Advent calendar that passed away?
Its days were numbered.

Why didn’t people like the new Apple Mac-themed advent calendars?
They didn’t have any Windows.

How do you feel when you can’t get to your Advent calendar chocolate?

Tim, an 18-year-old was munching down on chocolate from his advent calendar, having forgotten to eat a previous couple of days’ pieces.
His mom notices and says, “Is this your way of saying you’re too old for advent calendars?”
“No, I’m just bad with dates.”
Tim’s dad says, “Is that why you’re single?”

Why is Christmas time the best time to make an online dad-joke-filled advent calendar?
Because it’s the most punderful time of the year!

Why should you never buy The Doors themed advent Calendars?
Because they keep breaking on through to the other side.

What does Rudolph go to every morning until Christmas?
His Advent calen-deer.

Why had the youngster brought his science book home for the holidays?
To create something for the invent calendar.

Which of the girl elves on the shelf stole the advent calendar?
Miss Chievous.

How do you drain pasta on Christmas?
With an advent collander.

Which of the following dangerous cookies was discovered in the advent calendar?
A Ninja-bread man.

Why are most women like advent calendars?
Full of chocolate, and only useful 24 days of the month.

In December, what does a chemistry teacher call a bunch of monomers?
An Advent Polymer.

How do you get a 2-ton Advent calendar?
With a Candy Crane.

Recommended: Scrooge Jokes

Why didn’t Mommy get some treats for the advent calendar?
The candy delivery was ChocoLATE.

Did you hear about the guy who couldn’t finish anything?
So he bought a cyanide advent calendar.

I like my women how I like my advent calendar.
Against my wall, flaps open, ready to be eaten.

This Kate and Gerry McCann Advent Calendar is a bit sh*t.
The windows have all been opened and some c*nt has nicked all the chocolates.

Do you have a better Advent Calendar joke? Please share your Christmas eve puns and one-liners in the comments section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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