40 Funny Scrooge Jokes And Puns For Christmas Eve

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Jessica Amlee

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Ebenezer Scrooge is the main character from Charles Dickens’ classic novella, “A Christmas Carol.” Known as a miserly and grumpy old man, Scrooge is famous for his penny-pinching ways and his disdain for the joy and generosity of the Christmas season. His name has become synonymous with someone who is tight-fisted and lacks holiday spirit. However, Scrooge’s story is also one of redemption. After being visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come, he awakens to the true meaning of Christmas, transforming into a kinder, more generous person. This dramatic change highlights themes of forgiveness, change, and the true spirit of Christmas.

Scrooge jokes often play on his initially grumpy, miserly character, poking fun at his extreme frugality and grouchy demeanor before his transformation. These jokes are a light-hearted way to reference the classic tale, bringing a chuckle to those familiar with Scrooge’s story. They often involve humorous scenarios or exaggerations of Scrooge’s stinginess, offering a whimsical take on what it means to be a ‘Scrooge’ during the holiday season. In the spirit of the story, Scrooge jokes not only entertain but also gently remind us of the joy and generosity that are at the heart of the holiday season.

Best Scrooge Jokes

What’s Scrooge’s favorite food?
A humbug’er.

How did Scrooge get his employees to work double time on Christmas Eve?
He made Crochet sign a quaver.

Yo mama so stingy, even Scrooge lends her money for Christmas shopping!

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?
The shadow of his former shelf.

If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear?
A Baa-Homburg.

Where does Scrooge go in New York City?
The Grumpire State Building.

Where does Ebenezer Scrooge go to drink?
A bar in Hamburg.

How did Scrooge win the football match?
The Ghost of Christmas passed.

What is Mr. Scrooge’s mode of transportation in his neighborhood?
A cheap pair of skates.

Which board game is Scrooge’s favorite?

Recommended: Funny Christmas Carol Jokes

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?
The shadow of his former shelf.

On a hot afternoon, Scrooge the miser and his grandson, Tim, were walking home from a party.
Tim complains, “Gramps, it’s still a long way back to our house. It’s hot and I’m tired. Look, there’s a bus stop here. Can we please take the bus home?”
Scrooge is aghast. “It’ll cost us six dollars to get home from here! What a waste of money! We’ll walk it.”
Tim sighs, but he’s a good kid and doesn’t fuss about it. They barely walk a few feet, when Scrooge sees a passing taxi and hails it.
“How much would you charge to take us home to Springfield Avenue?”, Scrooge asks the cab driver.
“Springfield Avenue? Around twenty bucks.”, says the driver.
“Oof! That’s too much. We won’t be requiring your services, thank you.”
The cab drives off. Tim turns to his grandfather, exasperated. “Did you really think that a taxi to Springfield Avenue would cost less than a bus ride?”, he asks, incredulously.
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course not.”, Scrooge scoffs.
“Then why did you bother flagging down the taxi, Gramps?!”
“Foolish boy! We would’ve saved $6 by not taking the bus, now we’re saving $20 by not taking the taxi!”

What type of food would Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge sell if he ever got into the restaurant business?

What’s the best way to get rid of Scrooge?
Sleigh them.

What do you call a black person who doesn’t like Christmas?
Ebony-zer Scrooge.

What would happen if Scrooge became a sheep
He would say, “Baa humbug.”

Why doesn’t Scrooge like playing chess?
Because the knights keep reminding him of “goodwill toward men.”

How does Scrooge win at Monopoly?
He always insists on being the bank and never gives out loans!

What’s Scrooge’s favorite band?
The Penny-Pinchers.

You might be a scrooge if?
Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
Your favorite version of “A Christmas Carol” stars Bill Clinton.
Your favorite version of “Babes in Toyland” stars Michael Jackson.
You get your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night.
You get your Christmas tree on December 26th, when they go on sale.
You give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.
Your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon.
Your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park.
Your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
You think “Ho, Ho, Ho” is a line from a Rocky movie.
Your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat.
You use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets.
Your favorite version of “Silent Night” is sung by OJ Simpson.
Your favorite version of “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” involves the Ku Klux Klan.
Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.

What do you call a sick person who hates Christmas?
Ebesneezer Scrooge.

What do you call a Middle Eastern penny pincher?
Lebaneser Scrooge.

What would Scrooge say if he was German?
“Bar Hamburg.”

Recommended: Tinsel Jokes

What do you call a miserly person’s valet?
A Scrooge driver.

Why did Scrooge freeze his wallet?
He likes cold hard cash.

Where does Ebenezer Scrooge deposit his money?
In a snow bank.

Ebenezer Scrooge broke his clock, he punched and then stamped on it.
Why did he do that?
He said it was self-defense. He said that the clock struck first.

What method does Ebenezer Scrooge use to search the internet?

Why wasn’t Scrooge a good student?
He was too cheap to pay attention.

What kind of food does Ebenezer Scrooge enjoy?

Scrooge said, “Are you superstitious?”
“Not at all”, came the reply.
“Good”, Scrooge said. “Then will you lend me $13, please?”

Why is Ebenezer Scrooge not fond of birds?
When he walks by, they always say, “cheap, cheap, cheap.”

Which Christmas carol would Scrooge prefer?
Silent Night.

Why does Scrooge adore the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

Recommended: Reindeer Jokes

Which of Santa’s reindeer does Ebenezer Scrooge prefer?

Scrooge put his clock in the bank for what reason?
To save time.

Teacher: How much money will I have if I have 20 cents and ask Ebenezer Scrooge for another 30 cents?
Student: 20 cents.
Teacher: You don’t know your arithmetic.
Pupil: Please, miss, you don’t know Scrooge.

How does Scrooge like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, like his heart.

Why doesn’t Scrooge like knock-knock jokes?
Because they mean he has to answer the door for free!

Why did Scrooge refuse to invest in candles?
He said it was burning money, and he preferred to keep his assets in the dark.

How does Scrooge make a fruit salad?
With sour grapes and hardened nuts, just like his personality!

What’s Scrooge’s version of a Christmas carol?
“Silent Night, Cheap Night, No Heat, No Light.”

What do you call scrooge with erectile dysfunction?
The ghost of Christmas “yet to come”.

Do you have a better Scrooge joke? Please share your Christmas puns and one-liners in the comments section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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