65 Broom Jokes You Can’t Share With A Witch

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Jessica Amlee


You’ve let your creativity run wild by making your own besom, or traditional twig broom. You’ve propped a besom next to your front door or in your foyer, as though you’d just returned from a nocturnal ride, or you’ve constructed a pair to fright up the front porch plantings. While you are at it, we have created the funniest list of broom jokes for you that will surely put a smile on your face.

Before reading the jokes, let’s understand why broomsticks are generally associated with witches. A witch is a female expert in dark magic and witchcraft. We recognize them by their broomsticks, familiars, cauldrons, black robes, and pointed hats. These make excellent subjects for jokes and puns, so there are plenty of witch jokes floating around.

Although no one knows when the broom originated, the act of sweeping dates back to ancient times when people most likely used bunches of thin sticks, reeds, and other natural fibers to sweep away dust or ash from a fire or hearth. Anthropologist Robin Skelton suggests that the association may have roots in a pagan fertility ritual in which rural farmers would leap and dance astride poles pitchforks or brooms in the light of a full moon to encourage the growth of their crops.

Pharmacologist David Kroll claims that witches were thought to concoct their bruises from hallucinatory plants such as Atropa belladonna since ingesting these plants would cause intestinal distress. According to some sources, this ‘flying ointment’ would be absorbed best through mucosal membranes; thus, the traditional image of a female witch riding a broomstick implies the administration of it to the vulva.

Funny Broom Jokes

What did the angry witch do while riding her broom?
She flew off the handle.

What do you say when you see two witches making out in public?
“Get a broom.”

What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.

Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Witch who?)
Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?!

What is the difference between the invention of the shovel and a broom?
One was groundbreaking, while the other one swept the nation.

Husband: Honey, I broke a glass in the kitchen.
Wife: It’s okay, dear. I’ll be there with a broom.
Husband: It’s not an emergency. You can come on foot.

The broom manufacturing company is altering its entire production line.
The manager says they’re making sweeping changes.

A broom and a vacuum are cleaning a room.
After they’re done, the broom turns to the vacuum and says, “You kinda suck at this job.”

What do you get when you cross a broom and a toothpick?
A brick.

How do you make a floor cleaner out of a dishwasher?
Hand her a broom.

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away its broom.

Why do witches not wear underwear on Halloween?
For a better grip.

Why couldn’t the witch get into the Halloween party?
There wasn’t enough broom.

What do you call a homeless broom?

What’s a broom’s favorite fighting move?
Sweep the leg.

Why was the broom having a bad day?
It didn’t get enough sweep.

What is evil, ugly, and bounces?
A witch on a pogo broom.

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Wife: I have blisters on my hands from the broom.
Husband: Next time take the car, silly.

How warm is a janitor’s closet?
Broom Temperature.

Why was the broom late for work?
Because it over swept.

What sound does a witch’s car make?
Broom broom.

Did you hear about the gay broom?
Spent 10 years in the closet.

What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the broom closet?

Did you hear about the woman who was nearly killed by the broom?
It was a brush with death.

Two brooms were hanging in the closet, and after a while, they became so close that they decided to marry.
Of course, one broom was the bride broom, and the other was the groom broom.
The bride broom looked stunning in her white gown. In his tuxedo, the groom broom certainly looked dashing. The wedding was beautiful.
“I guess I’m going to have a tiny whisk broom!” the bride-broom exclaimed to the groom-broom at the wedding feast.
“Impossible”, said the groom broom. “We haven’t even swept together!”

What happens when a witch breaks the sound barrier?
You hear a sonic broom.

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Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
It’s easier than walking.

What did the broom say to the dustpan?
“Get down on the floor and let me put this in you.”

What is the relation between a broom and an AK-47?
Both are used in American schools.

Did you hear the witch who was going to take a friend’s broom for a ride?
She couldn’t drive a stick.

What does a witch ask for in a hotel?
Broom service.

Why did the broom take a nap?
It was sweepy.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
By broom … JK, rolling.

When shouldn’t you disturb the broom?
When it’s sweeping.

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Why do witches only fly on brooms?
Vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

What did Hitler call his broom?
Mein Sweeper.

What’s another name for a Pore vacuum?
A broom and a dustpan.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom — I’ll show you how.”

How did the broom find a girlfriend?
He swept her off her feet.

What did the broom say when they were ready for bed?
“I’m sweepy.”

Why do witches fly on brooms at night?
To get high.

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Go to sweep, dear.

What has six legs and sits on a broomstick?
A witch with her cat.

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Did you hear about the guy who won a year’s supply of beef and a broom?
He really won the sweepsteaks.

What do you call two witches that get an apartment together?

Why does Sirius Black has so many witch girlfriends?
They enjoy a nice long broomstick ride under a full moon.

What kind of mail does a witch carry her broom?
Hex-press mail.

What’s a dog’s favorite Ozzy Osbourne song?
Bark at the Broom.

How do you clean Disney World?
With an Orlando Broom.

Why did the witch get rid of her new broom?
It was a bit thin and she couldn’t get used to driving a stick.

What’s a broom’s favorite gameshow?
Supermarket Sweep.

A man was browsing the broom section at the grocery store with his girlfriend.
He asks an older man who also was browsing, “You think the cheap $4 ones work just as well as the $12 ones?”
The older man said, “I don’t know, ask her to take it for a spin.”

What do witches in Australia ride?

How does a broom make itself understood?
By sweeping gestures.

What’s the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A broomstick pie tastes awful.

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Knock, Knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Wanda who?)
Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?

Why do wizards always fall in love with witches with a good broom?
They sweep them poor wizards off their feet.

How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
Out of flying saucers.

Why do brooms have such a high divorce rate?
They’re always sweeping around.

Why don’t witches fly after copulation?
Because they don’t want to slide off the broom.

How do you play women’s hockey?
With a broom in the kitchen.

What’s the difference between a broom and a vegetable?
A broom can stand.

What do you call a witch who keeps crashing her brooms?
A wreckless hag.

Why do witches always fly on broomsticks?
Because they want to make a clean getaway.

Are these jokes on broomstick funny enough? Let us know your broom puns and one-liners.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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