Dentists are friendly individuals in white jackets who wield glistening tools and have a mystical sixth instinct for detecting cavities hidden in the darkest corners of your mouth. They keep our teeth gleaming white and our breath minty fresh, but let’s face it, their visits may be a little… nerve-wracking. The whirling drills, probing instruments, and barrage of directions are enough to make anyone break out in cold sweat.
Dentists not only treat dental problems but also educate on prevention, ensuring their patients keep their smiles healthy and bright. While the experience can sometimes be nerve-wracking, the outcome – a healthy, confident smile – is always worth it.
Dentist jokes are a lighthearted way to ease the tension that some might feel about dental appointments. These jokes often play on common experiences in the dentist’s chair, like the struggle to speak with tools in one’s mouth or the fear of the dreaded drill. They remind us that even amidst the discomfort, there’s room for laughter and lightheartedness. So, the next time you find yourself in the dentist’s chair, facing the unknown, remember the power of a good dentist joke.
Best Dentist Jokes
Did you hear about the dentist who removed the wrong tooth?
It was accidental.
What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Filling.
(Filling who?)
Filling good after my trip to the dentist!
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
The drill slipped.
Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, when the dentist looked in her mouth, he thought he was watching The Simpsons.
Dentist: (mockingly) Even though I am much older than you, still I have healthier teeth.
Patient: It must be because you had the better dentist.
Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?
Because they make teeth straight and white.
Why do dentists only want to be awarded paper certificates?
They hate plaque buildup.
Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?
Man (Shaking head): Dude, you were there!
Why don’t dentists display their awards?
Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.
Do you know that dentists make all their money from bad teeth?
Weird that we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
Did you hear that if your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium?
It will be hilarious when you scream.
Why are dentists really good hackers?
Because they always get root access.
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to the dentist, they make her lie face down.
Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
What did the dentist say to his girlfriend?
“You have the nicest teeth I’ve ever come across.”
A man went to see a dentist. After examining his mouth, the dentist says, “There’s something wrong with your taste bud.”
“What is it?” the man asked.
He said, “Well, to start, those shoes are fucking hideous.”
What’s something a dentist can say but a gynecologist cannot?
“I’m a dentist.”
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What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist.
Do you know that 9 out of 10 dentists agree?
That the one other dentist is shit at their job.
How do dentists like their eggs?
Poached.
What do you call a boat full of dentists?
A tooth ferry.
Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist?
He had tooth DK.
A man was on a train and this woman opposite looked at him and said, “Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place….”
He asked her, “Are you single?”
She replied, “No, I am a dentist.”
Why did the king go to the dentist?
He needed to get a new crown.
What do you call a gay dentist?
The Tooth Fairy.
What is a dentist’s favorite dinosaur?
A Flossiraptor.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Molar.
(Molar who?)
Molar power to ya for taking care of your teeth!
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Yo mama’s breath smells so bad, when she has her dentist appointments over the phone.
What will the dentist give you for $1?
Buck teeth.
What is a dentist’s favorite number?
2th.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
A guy walks into a dentist’s office and says, “I think I’m a moth.”
The dentist replies “You shouldn’t be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist…”
The guy replies, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.”
The dentist asks, “Well, then what are you doing here?”
The guy says, “Your light was on.”
Why a bad day at the dentist is better than a bad day at the airport?
Because a search for cavities sure beats a cavity search.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Plaque.
(Plaque who?)
Plaque your teeth regularly to keep them healthy!
Why don’t dentists like math?
They don’t like calculus.
What did the lawyer say to the dentist?
“Do you promise to take the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?”
Why is it OK to lie to a dentist?
Because the tooth hurts.
A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.
“Doctor, I’m in a rush!” the man stated to the dentist. I have two guys waiting in my car for us to go golfing. So, forget about the anesthesia and just pluck the tooth out. I don’t have time to wait for the anesthesia to take effect!”
“Oh goodness,” the dentist thought to himself, “this sure is a brave man, requesting me to pull his teeth without doing anything to relieve the pain.”
So the dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the doctor which tooth hurts.”
Why are Dentists’ graves hard to find?
There’s no plaque.
What do you call a dentist who’s a deep thinker?
A Flossifer.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the dentist to get her Bluetooth fixed.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
There are two identical twin boys who share a home. One is a well-known dentist, while the other can’t seem to get work. Instead of actively seeking employment, he prefers to stay at home. The dentist is hungry one Saturday and puts his brother on the spot. He orders him to get off his duff and go grab some food for them. After some argument, the sluggish brother gets in the car and drives to the store. Meanwhile, on his day off, the dentist sleeps. He switches off his phone so he won’t be disturbed.
Around 30 minutes later, the indolent brother is involved in a head-on incident near the grocery shop. His vital signs are deteriorating, and he is unconscious and scarcely moving. He is picked up by an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. He ends himself in the Emergency Department, where he is being monitored, but his condition is severe. They call his dentist brother, but he doesn’t answer because his phone is turned off.
A knock on the door awakens the dentist. He ignores it, suspecting it to be a solicitor, but the knocking persists. He eventually decides to stand up and yell at the guy at the door. When he does, the grim reaper appears. He is exactly as portrayed in movies: a whole skeleton behind a ragged robe.
The grim reaper swears, “Oh no! This always happens with identical twins”.
“What do you mean?” asks the dentist.
“Well… if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I’ve come to take him to the underworld. I’m afraid his time on Earth has ended. I’ll take my leave now.”
The dentist is noticeably upset. He says “Wait! Isn’t there some way I can challenge you for my brother’s life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly, there must be a way I can bargain for his life.”
The grim reaper asks “What do you have in mind?”
The dentist thinks. “How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free.”
The grim reaper laughs. “I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?”
The dentist smiles. “I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minutes of brushing each, then we decide.”
“Very well,” says the grim reaper as he walks to the bathroom.
When he arrives, he draws his ragged cloak back to show his skull. It’s gleaming. He gets a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes his teeth. After 5 minutes, the brightest teeth anyone has ever seen shimmer and shine. The grim reaper laughs. “You are a stupid human. But you have earned your chance.”
The dentist grabs another toothbrush, loads it with toothpaste, and begins brushing furiously. He spits up the paste after his five minutes are up. He laughs.
It’s incredible. The dentist’s teeth shine so brightly that he can see the grim reaper’s reflection in his perfectly clean teeth.
The winner is self-evident. In shame, the grim reaper hangs his head. “Human, you win. This time is different. Your brother will be okay.” He disappears in a plume of smoke. At the same time, the bedridden brother in the hospital awakens. He is not only unhurt but also appears to be in good health. The phone next to his bed suddenly rings. The dentist is his brother. He picks up the phone. “Hello, bro. You won’t believe what occurred. I apparently went to the market and was hit by a car. They say I nearly died.”
The dentist smiles on the phone and says, “That’s interesting, bro. Today you might say that I also had a brush with death.”
What did the dentist say before the plane crashed?
“Brace Yourself.”
Why should you always brush your teeth with a partner?
Because 9 out of 10 dentists say that brushing alone will not prevent cavities.
What do you call a dentist that doesn’t like tea?
Denis.
Dave realized he had a dentist appointment after a fantastic 69 with his girlfriend.
He was terrified the dentist would smell pu##y on his breath, so he washed his teeth 7 times and used 2 liters of mouthwash on top of that.
He also chewed 5 powerful mints on his way to the dentist.
He was told to take a seat by the dentist. He extended his mouth wide, calm and assured.
“Dude, did you have a 69 before you came here?” the dentist asked as he got closer.
Dave, surprised, exclaims, “Why, No! Is my breath smelling like pus?”
The dentist says, “No, but your forehead smells like ass!”
Do you know why Trump would be an amazing dentist?
He is against anything that’s not white and straight.
Why did the Android go to the dentist?
Because it had blutooth.
What did the Redhead get diagnosed with at the Dentist?
Gingervitus.
A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled.
The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.
“No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing – the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!”
The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.
“No,” the patient says, “I am fine with pills.”
The dentist then returns and says, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”
The patient says, “Wow – I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain pill.!”
“It doesn’t,” said the dentist and continued:
“But it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth.”
Why did the tree go to the dentist?
He had to get to the root of the problem.
Why do dentists never tell a lie?
They value the tooth above all else.
What is a dentist’s favorite horror movie?
Jaws.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth.
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
“My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff.”
The dentist replied: “You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it”
To which the man responds, “Man, that’s exactly what I did!”
What can you say to a dentist that you can also say to a prostitute?
Give me oral, B!
Why did the train go to the dentist?
It had problems choo-chewing.
What do you call a dentist that grants 3 wishes?
A dental hygenie!
The thought of ladies terrifies a dentist.
After his wife cheated on him, a dentist’s father reared his son alone. He always warned his son to stay away from ladies like the plague.
A lovely woman is led into the dentist’s exam room one day. She is highly flirty with the dentist and makes no secret of her feelings for him.
She asks the dentist if he’d like to go out sometime.
“I’m flattered,” he says, “but I don’t date. My father warned me about women.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“Well, women just want to seduce you and get you in bed. Then they bite your penis off with the teeth in their vagina!”
The woman laughs and assures the dentist that no such thing is true, but he doesn’t believe her.
To prove her point, she hoists her skirt up, pulls back her panties, and shows him. “See? No teeth!”
“No wonder,” the dentist says. “Look at the condition of those gums!”
What’s a dentist’s favorite carnival ride?
The molar-coaster!
What do you call someone who punches car doors professionally?
A dentist.
What do you call a bear that’s a dentist?
A molar bear.
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What do a family dentist and a pedophile have in common?
They both fill little kids’ cavities.
A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes! How did you figure that out?”
“Easy,” she replied, “you keep washing your hands.”
One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done it, the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist, How did you figure that out?”
“Didn’t feel a thing!”
What do dentists, historians, and prostitutes have in common?
Oral history.
Yo mama so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
An old woman walks into a dentist
She walks into the treatment room, whereupon she immediately whips off her knickers, sits down, and lifts her legs. The dentist proclaims, “I’m a dentist, not a gynecologist.”
The old woman replies, “I know, but my husband wants his teeth back.”
What did the dentist say to the computer?
“This won’t hurt a byte!”
Do you have funny Dentist jokes? Post your own Dentist puns in the comment section below!
I love these dentist jokes! They’re so funny and I can’t wait to share them with my friends.