50 Funny Geography Jokes to Put You on the World Map

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Jessica Amlee


Geography is a fascinating field of study that teaches us about the world’s terrains, boundaries, and cultures. It’s about knowing why deserts don’t have 24-hour customer support because they can’t deal with shifting sands, or understanding why mountains are so popular; they simply pique everyone’s interest. And if you’ve ever struggled to pinpoint a country on a map, don’t feel bad; even the countries can’t settle on their borders!

And as vast as our world is, so is the treasure trove of geography jokes that never get old, mainly because the Earth rotates every 24 hours! Whether it’s poking fun at topography or jesting about jet streams, geography humor navigates through layers of earthy puns and climatic punchlines. Ever heard the one about the cartographer? Probably not, because they often “map” their way around a direct joke! So next time you’re on a rocky terrain of a conversation, just throw in a geography joke and watch the atmosphere shift. After all, humor is one thing that doesn’t require a compass!

Best Geography Jokes

What is the purpose of war?
So that Americans would learn Geography.

Doesn’t Geology rock?
But geography is where its at.

Why is Justin Timberlake is bad at geography?
He sings this song, “Crimea River”, but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.

Student: I’ll never be good at geography.
Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!

Why did the cartographer get kicked out of map making club?
He had a bad latitude.

Yo mama lost at Hide N’ Seek when they spotted her behind the Himalayas.

How do trees maintain our ecosystem?
Using root access.

Why don’t impatient people like learning about longitude and latitude?
Because they hate long lines!

Professor to the student: Did you study geography?
Student: Yes sir.
Professor: So, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof.

What does a man who has a double major in Psychology and Geography?
Leads the field in research on glacial depressions.

Recommended: Flat Earth Jokes

Have you heard about the old geography teacher who kept wetting his bed?
His only weakness was in continents.

Yo mama so big, her first step as a baby she made the Grand Canyon.

Why did the student fail his test on Canadian Geography?
He knew Nunavut.

What do you call a fast-working marine animal in its natural habitat?
A fish in sea.

What is the highest form of flattery?
A plateau.

The bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller.
He said, “Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!”
The puzzled Cashier said, “Did you mean to say “or you’re history?”
The robber replied, “Don’t change the subject.”

Geography teacher: Could name a country with no ‘R’ in it?
Student: No way!

Did you hear the best geography joke, the other day?
We would tell you but you had to be there.

What’s the best geography for laying locomotive tracks?
Choo Choo Terrain.

What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?

A preschool teacher is teaching a student basic geography.
Teacher: What state do you live in?
Student: Denial.

Recommended: Earth Jokes

How did you make it on time to your Middle Eastern geography test?
“I ran.”

Do you want to know how one figured out Peru was the answer on his geography test?
Process of a Lima nation.

Yo mama so fat, she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Did you know Fox McCloud is an expert in geography?
One might call him a Land Master.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?
“It’s your fault!”

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: “What is the capital of Germany?”
“Berlin,” says the boy.
“What is the capital of France?”
“Berlin,” says the boy.
“What is the capital of Russia?”
“Berlin,” says the boy.
“Good job, Adolf, you’ll do great on your test tomorrow.”

Why is a joke about world geography kind of like healthcare?
Lots of Americans just won’t get it.

What happens when you mess around in West Africa?
You’re Ghana have a bad time!

You can say what you like about Putin,
But he’s the best Geography teacher one has ever had.

Can you conquer the largest continent on earth?
No, but Genghis Khan!

What do you call an alligator with a map?
A Navigator.

Little Johnny is sitting in Geography class.
All of a sudden, he raises his hand. “Yes?” says the teacher.
“Sorry teacher, I was wondering, is the Earth really flat?” asks Johnny.
The teacher looks at him, visibly annoyed, and says, “No, it’s not. Do you have any more stupid questions?”
“Yes…” says Johnny. “How did The Dead Sea die?”

The geography of a woman as she ages:
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Why are dogs so good at running in rough terrain?
They have pawsitraction!

What did Sula become when he got stabbed by a pencil?

Why are women like road maps?
You spend a lot of time looking at them, but they always end up making you confused.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

How do mountains hear?
With mountaineers (mountain ears).

Why are mountains so funny?
Because they are hill areas (hilarious).

The geography of a man:
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia: Ruled by a pair of nuts.

Why can’t women read maps?
Because men are the only ones that can pretend an inch to be a mile.

Two blondes are in a geography class together.
One asks the other, “Which is closer, London or the moon?”
The other replies, “The moon, obviously, can you see London?”

How do you call a country without nobility?
A Baron wasteland.

What do you call a lake that’s desperately trying to be modest?
A koi pond.

Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.

A geography teacher assigned each of his students a country to find on a map.
He gave them the task of finding their assigned country on the globe, and explaining how it can be identified
“I can find Italy on the globe, Sir,” says James. “It’s easy because it looks like a boot.”
“Well done James,” says the teacher.
“I can find Pakistan on the globe’ says Emily ‘It’s easy because it looks like a dog.”
“Well done Emily,” says the teacher.
“I can find South Africa on the globe,” says Olivia. “It’s easy because it looks like a rhino’s head.”
“Well done Olivia,” says the teacher.
“Sir,” asks Johnny. “Can I have a country other than Sweden?”

In which US state is the Great Salt Lake?

What is a group of mute performers standing on a grassy plain called?
A mime field.

Did you hear about Little Johnny’s grandfather who was a great man?
He went down in history. One time he also fingered a girl in Geography.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

Why are Americans bad at geography?
Because the ones that skipped class survived.

What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!

Do you have a funny Geography joke? Write down your own Geography puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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