60 Funny Earth Jokes And Puns That Are Out of this World

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Jessica Amlee


Prepare to embark on a laughter-filled journey through our planet’s most hilarious Earth jokes. This blog features an entertaining mix of witty puns, clever one-liners, and side-splitting humor, all tailored to delight young readers. Whether it’s geography giggles, eco-friendly chuckles, or geological jests that strike your fancy, there’s something here for everyone.

Not only will these jokes keep kids laughing, but they’ll also spark their curiosity about the amazing world we live in. So, buckle up and prepare to explore the lighter side of Earth, where laughter knows no borders!

Best Earth Jokes

What’s the difference between Earth and Jupiter?
Your mom’s mass.

Why is it always a surprise when a meteor enters Earth’s atmosphere?
Because they appear out of thin air.

A solar eclipse is when the moon is between the Earth and the Sun. A lunar eclipse is when the earth is between the Moon and the Sun. What’s it called when the sun is between the moon and the earth?
The apocalypse.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Geode who?)
Geode times are here when you’re cracking up at these earth jokes!

Did you hear about the man’s new life aboard the giant space station designed to “solve Earth’s overpopulation problem”?
Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in his cabin window every day.

Recommended: Flat Earth Jokes

Why do geologists love the way the earth rotates?
It really makes their day.

Do you know that the earth is the third planet from the sun?
Naturally, that makes all countries third-world countries.

Why isn’t Earth a perfect circle?
You try keeping your figure after 4.543 billion years.

What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?

Yo mama so fat, when Galactus swallowed Earth, he choked.

Do you know that ‘Earth’ without ‘Art’ is just ‘Eh’?
Just like ‘The United States of America’ without ‘heunedtatesam’ is just ‘Tits of Erica’.

What is a chef’s favorite earth spell?
Cast iron.

Recommended: Earth Day Jokes

Do you know that God said a good woman would be found in one of the four corners of the Earth?
Then God made the world round.

Why does the Earth need a tutor?
Because it has seven “C”s.

What’s the fastest growing city on Earth?
The capital of Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.

Did you know that every planet in our solar system is named after a god?
Except Earth… which is named after all that stuff on the ground.

A young girl informed her husband that the earth is tilted at a 23.5-degree angle.
The father replied, “That’s not right.”
With a scowl, she pulled up Google and proved to him that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5-degree angle.
“Precisely,” the father agreed. “If the angle were right it would be 90°.”

Why are rocks from space more delicious than rocks from Earth?
Because they’re meatier.

Do you know that Mountains are just earth boners?
Volcanoes then…!

Do you know what happened to the scientists who got bored of watching the Earth spin?
After 24 hours, they called it a day.

What did the earth say after the earthquake?
“Sorry! My fault.”

Recommended: Earthquake Jokes

How do Earth’s layers make love?
Inner cores.

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.

An Asteroid measuring 1,600 meters is headed straight toward Earth.
That’s quite the milestone!

What did the man think who got an e-mail saying, “At Google Earth, we can read maps backward?”
“That’s just spam.”

When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.

Yo mama so bald, Earth feels like Tattooine when she’s around.

How mad does the Earth get after people throw garbage at it?
Heats up and storms off.

What’s the least spoken language on earth?
Sign language.

What do they call it when the earth shakes in the Middle East?
An EarthKuwait.

What did the moon say to the Earth?
“Is that a bulge in your ocean or are you just happy to sea me?!”

In space, two aliens are talking to each other.
The first alien says, “The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”
The second alien asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
The first alien says, “I don’t think so, they have aimed at themselves”

Recommended: Alien Jokes

Why don’t aliens visit Earth?
Because we have a 1-star rating.

Which event on Earth do aliens hate the most?
Miss Universe.

What do you call a sick bird who has secretly migrated to Earth?
An ill-eagle alien.

What is the tallest building on earth?
The library, it has the most stories.

Yo mama so fat, you can see her from Google Earth.

Did you hear about the guy who owned the Earth’s supply of herbs?
He had all the thyme in the world.

What is Earth’s favorite pastime?
Making fun of other planets for having no life.

How do we know the Earth isn’t the center of the universe?
“I didn’t marry the Earth.”

What is the heaviest food on Earth?

Recommended: Global Warming Jokes

NASA was interviewing candidates for missions to Mars. Only one person could leave, and he could not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wished to be compensated for his participation. “A million dollars,” he explained, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The same question was posed to the following applicant, a doctor. He requested two million dollars. “I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million to advance medical research,” he added.
The final candidate was a politician. When asked how much money he desired, he said quietly in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The politician replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

How far is it from the Earth to the sun?
8 CVS receipts.

What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?
“Where on Earth have you been?!”

What’s the most sarcastic body of water on earth?
The Crimea River.

What is the closest galaxy to Earth?
Samsung Galaxy.

Why are the fastest land animals on Earth so bad at relationships?
Because they are cheetahs.

Yo mama so old and fat, God used her as a template while creating the Earth.

A new article is about an asteroid colliding with the Earth.
Couldn’t read it. Hits too close to home.

Why does most solar radiation not reach the Earth’s surface?
It falls asleep in the i-yawn-osphere.

Recommended: Environmental Jokes

Earth is the best planet.
If you tried living anywhere else, you’d just be settling.

“Why is my neighbor digging a hole through the earth’s crust?” Johnny asked his mate.
“He must be going mantle,” he replied.

Two astronauts went to the moon.
When they crawled out of their spaceship, it was a sight to behold. In the distance, there was a teepee and a Native American sitting near a fire. They approached the native and one of them said, “Hello! We’re from planet Earth!”
The native, with a scared look, says, “Oh god, not again.”

Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

What’s the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. It’s pasteurized before you see it.

Did you hear about the titty bar that was dead center over a rupture in the crust of the Earth?
Volcanic ass was everywhere!

Yo mama ass so big, the aliens thought Earth had two moons.

What’s the difference between the Earth and my sock?
The Earth’s crust is on the outside.

Astronomy Fact: You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus.
64 if you relax.

Recommended: Uranus Jokes

What would happen if Uranus collided with Earth?
It would be a pain in the ass.

In the beginning, God created Earth.
Everything else was made in China.

Yo mama so fat, before she was buried the earth was a disc.

Why were the other planets afraid of Earth?
Earth was a terrarist.

Do you have another funny Earth joke? Post your own Earth puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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