Flat Earthers are a fascinating bunch, holding on to the belief that our planet is as flat as a pancake, despite centuries of science saying otherwise. They’re like the ultimate rebels of the astronomy class, dismissing globes as mere decorative items. In their view, the world is a vast, flat expanse, and if you venture too far, you might just bump into a giant ‘Do Not Cross’ tape at the edge. It’s a perspective that turns every sunset into a potential edge-of-the-world experience and every ocean voyage into a daredevil stunt. Their conviction creates a unique blend of curiosity and bafflement, setting the stage for some light-hearted jests, and that’s where Flat Earth jokes come in.
Flat Earth jokes are the perfect concoction of sarcasm and whimsy, poking fun at this unconventional view of our planet. They play on the idea of walking too far and suddenly taking an unexpected tumble into space, or GPS systems throwing up their virtual hands in confusion. These jokes aren’t just about the shape of the Earth; they’re about tickling that part of our brain that loves absurdity and the imaginative possibilities of ‘what if’. Flat Earth jokes remind us that sometimes, a little laughter can be the best way to bridge the gap between wildly different perspectives, even if those perspectives are as different as round and flat.
Best Flat Earth Jokes
Do you remember the times when the Earth used to be flat?
But then they buried yo mama.
What do you call a vampire who thinks the Earth is flat?
No-sphere-ratu.
The Earth’s surface is 70% water.
That water is uncarbonated. Therefore, the Earth is flat.
Did you hear about the flat Earth conspiracy?
It’s spreading around the globe.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Flat Earth.
(Flat Earth who?)
I’d tell you, but you might think I’m just trying to spread things out!
Why don’t we have a Reality Show where Flat Earthers walk to the end of the Earth?
Because that would be edgy.
If the earth really is flat,
Wouldn’t cats have pushed everything off the edge by now?!
The earth is plane and that’s why we call it “PLANEt”.
If it was rounded we would call it “ROUNDEt.”
Did you hear that the British Flat Earth Society opened a branch in the US?
It is called Apartment Earth Society.
Why do people believe in the flat earth theory?
They hit their heads at the edge.
Isn’t funny making a flat earth believer angry?
But if you push them over the edge then you’re only proving them right.
What do you call a flat earth rap?
A disc track.
Why was the Covid19 situation especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society?
They feared that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Why is it impossible for a flat Earther to calculate the volume of the Earth?
Because there is always a rounding error.
Recommended: Earth Jokes
How do flat-earthers travel the earth?
On a plane.
Yo mama so fat, people debate whether she is round or flat.
A flat earther dies and goes to heaven.
At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, “Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question.”
The flat earther asks, “God, is the earth flat?”
God responds, “The earth is 100% a globe.”
The flat earther exclaims, “Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!”
If the earth is flat, why should be the ground called?
The gflat.
Did you hear the Flat Earth Society is really gaining ground?
They say they have members all around the globe now.
Why are these jokes on Flat Earth Society not appealing to some?
It falls flat.
All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.
Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, “Don’t look at me, I’m not flat.”
Why wasn’t there any global warming in the Middle Ages?
Because back then the earth was flat.
What did the flat-earther say after finally seeing the Earth from space?
“Half of the so-called “continents” are missing.”
Why will the flat earth society never be popular?
Because they cant get the word a round.
Did you overhear the flat earth believer talking about global warming?
Most told him to make up his mind.
Recommended: Global Warming Jokes
Did you hear about the new documentary made by the Flat Earth Society?
It has been nominated for the Golden Globe Award.
How do we know the Earth isn’t flat?
Cause your mama so fat, she would’ve tipped us over by now.
Little Johnny is sitting in Geography class.
All of a sudden, he raises his hand.
“Yes?” says the teacher.
“Sorry teacher, I was wondering, is the Earth really flat?” asks Johnny
The teacher looks at him, visibly annoyed, and says. “No, it’s not. Do you have any more stupid questions?”
“Yes…” says Johnny. “How did The Dead Sea die?”
When flat-earth people play basketball what do they say?
They are like… “Yo pass me the frisbee bro!”
What do you say, when you finally find out the Earth isn’t flat?
“That’s a relief.”
Did you hear about the flat earther who got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove all wrong?
He’ll come around eventually.
What is a funny Flat Earther’s pickup line?
“The Earth may be flat but Uranus is round!”
Do flat-earthers believe Earth is a planet?
They do, but the “t” in “planet” is silent.
Did you hear that scientists have determined that the Earth has a resonant frequency?
The planet resonates at a low B note. However, if you were flying away in a space ship the frequency would drop due to the Doppler effect, and the Earth would B flat.
Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren’t any other groups that do that.
Thank God.
A flat earther is shown a map of the world.
“Not only is this world flat as the map truly shows it to be but all the places and physical features are also fictional!” He says.
“Why do you think that?” Someone asks.
“Because in the key on the side, it says everything is a legend.”
Did you know it’s illegal to discriminate against people that believe the Earth is flat?
It’s true. The Americans with disabilities act protects the mentally dis*bled.
Recommended: Geography Jokes
The International Flat Earth Society Annual Conference was going to be held on Zoom this year.
Unfortunately, they all agreed on the same start time.
What is the one thing a flat earth advocate fears?
Sphere itself!
God made white and black men to be treated equally at every corner of the earth.
But then He forgot to make the earth flat.
Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?
Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless.
What do the square-root of 2 and flat-earthers have in common?
They’re both completely irrational.
A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time.
They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first?
The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.
Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers?
Because flattery will get you nowhere.
Recommended: Earth Day Jokes
What is a flat earther’s least favorite flavor of gum?
Spheremint.
A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar While the speaker was giving a speech on recent development about gravity, a flat earther shouted, “Why do you even think that gravity is real?”
The speaker dropped the mic.
What’s a flat-earther’s least favorite gun?
A revolver.
How many flat earthers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Trick question it’s a light disk.
Do you have a funny Flat Earth joke? Write down your own Flat Earth puns in the comment section below!
You’re all wrong, the Earth isn’t flat or round…
It’s f*cked.
I’m a member of the Flat Earth Society.
The Earth isn’t round, that’s just a consphereacy.