Jokes

90 Sweating Like A Jokes To Keep Your Cool

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Jessica Amlee

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The extreme heat is no good thing, but the collective pain has forced people to rely on a key life asset: humor. They may be sobbing on the inside and sweating like anything outside, but we all know that humor can be a soothing ointment for those burns.

With temperatures projected to reach 100 degrees in certain parts of the world, you can laugh, cry, or whine. We recommend that you make others laugh with you. Nothing beats this list of sweating-like jokes! So, if it’s currently hot where you are, give them a read before they become too hot to handle!

Funny Sweating Like A Jokes

I am sweating like Lucy Letby watching one born every minute.
I am sweating like Tom Daley’s baby at nappy changing time.
I am sweating like Boris with a four piece Jigsaw puzzle.
I am sweating like Gylfi Sigurdsson doing the school run.
I am sweating like a Southwest passenger with a window seat.
I am sweating like a gypsy in a spelling test.
I am sweating like Kanye West in Golders Green.
I am sweating like a Canadian Catholic Chapel.
I am sweating like Jill Dando trying to get her keys in the door.
I am sweating like a wh*re in church!
I am sweating like Josef Fritzl on MTV Cribs.
I am sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market.
I am sweating like a Prince in a pizza express.
I am sweating like a group of nuns at a cucumber farm.
I am sweating like a person who works in a warehouse with no air conditioning.
I am sweating like a German trying to tell a joke.
I am sweating like Karl Rove near a lie detector.
I am sweating like a fat one-legged hooker working both sides of the street.


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I am sweating like an individual who suffers from hyperhidrosis.
I am sweating like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
I am sweating like a talking muffin in an oven.
I am sweating like a cat burying a sh*t on a marble floor.
I am sweating like a republican in a gay bar.
I am sweating like a pedobear in a playground.
I am sweating like an internet p*rn addict when a girl borrows his computer.
I am sweating like a necrophiliac in a zombie movie.
I am sweating like a fat kid in dodge ball.
I am sweating like Helen Keller playing Hide-and-Seek.


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I am sweating like a Jew in a diamond mine.
I am sweating like the guy in red on Star Trek the original series.
I am sweating like a dog at a Chinese restaurant.
I am sweating like Josef Fritzl on Grand Designs.
I am sweating like Gary Glitter at PC World.
I am sweating like Fred West on Ground Force.
I am sweating like a dyslexic on the countdown.
I am sweating like Theresa May in a field of wheat.
I am sweating like a Geordie in a maths test.
I am sweating like a hemophiliac in a knife shop.


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I am sweating like a Christian in a science class.
I am sweating like avocado in Shoreditch
I am sweating like a Turkish wrestler’s jockstrap.
I am sweating like a Nigerian truck driver’s armpit.
I am sweating like a Scouser on father’s day.
I am sweating like a one-armed builder in Baghdad.
I am sweating like a homeopath in a Chemistry exam.
I am sweating like a diabetic going hypoglycemic.
I am sweating like a Brit during a heat wave.
I am sweating like a priest in a preschool.
I am sweating like David Cameron at a pig farm.


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I am sweating like a snowman in the desert.
I am sweating like a penguin in a tropical rainforest.
I am sweating like a chef in a hot sauce factory.
I am sweating like an ice cream cone under a heat lamp.
I am sweating like a politician during a lie detector test.
I am sweating like a cactus in a greenhouse.
I am sweating like a vampire on a sunny beach.
I am sweating like a polar bear in a hot yoga class.
I am sweating like a chocolate bar in a pocket on a summer day.
I am sweating like a fireman at a chili cook-off.
I am sweating like a wool sweater on a sheep in the Sahara.
I am sweating like a computer running a million calculations per second.
I am sweating like a melting glacier in a heatwave.
I am sweating like an igloo in an oven.
I am sweating like a nervous astronaut on a spacewalk.
I am sweating like a wax figure in a sauna.
I am sweating like a sunbathing lizard on a hot rock.
I am sweating like a cup of hot coffee left in a car on a summer day.
I am sweating like a snowball in a microwave.
I am sweating like a rainforest explorer wearing a winter coat.


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I am sweating like the crew on an Alec Baldwin film set.
I am sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage.
I am sweating like a fad lad in a spin class.
I am sweating like a smackhead with his giro.
I am sweating like a kiddyfiddler in a playground.
I am sweating like a priest in a scout hall.
I am sweating like a fat kid in dodgeball.
I am sweating like Michael Jackson at a sleepover.
I am sweating like George Bush in Baghdad.
I am sweating like Hitler waiting for the gas bill.
I am sweating like a crocodile in a handbag factory.
I am sweating like a glassblower’s arse.
I am sweating like Ian Huntley on Parent’s Evening.
I am sweating like a pig in cellophane.
I am sweating like a h*mosexual at a wiener roast.
I am sweating like Dianne Abbott at a maths exam.
I am sweating like a suicide bomber who’s just about to press his detonator.
I am sweating like a paedo in a Barney suit.


We know “sweating like a” jokes offer a playful and entertaining way to describe the feeling of excessive perspiration. These imaginative similes not only lighten the mood but also spark creativity and laughter among friends, family, and readers alike. While sweating may be a natural and essential bodily function, it doesn’t have to be a source of embarrassment. So, the next time you find yourself working up a sweat, remember to embrace it with a sense of humor and maybe even share a “sweating like a” joke or two. After all, laughter is the best medicine, and there’s no better way to cool down than with a hearty chuckle.

Do you have made your own sweating like a joke or saying? Share with us in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

6 thoughts on “90 Sweating Like A Jokes To Keep Your Cool”

  1. Its actually sweating like a mackem in a maths test. Being from the usa you probably have no idea who or what a geordie is or what thier 6 toed sister dipping neighbours the mackems are.
    You clearly didnt write that joke

    Reply

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