In today’s politically charged climate, liberal jokes offer a lighthearted way to poke fun at the progressive side of the spectrum, while also shedding light on some of the more eccentric aspects of liberal thinking.
From tongue-in-cheek jabs at kale-loving vegans to witty commentary on the struggle to find the perfect pronoun, these jokes foster an amusing reprieve from the intensity of political discourse. Not only do they bring a chuckle to those who lean left, but they also provide an opportunity for people across the aisle to share a laugh and find common ground amidst the turbulence of the current political landscape. So, sit back and enjoy a few hilarious anecdotes that capture the quirks and eccentricities of the liberal world.
Political Liberal Jokes
Why are liberal politics so confusing?
In liberal politics, left is right and right is wrong.
What do libertarians and house cats have in common?
They both act like they are independent and self sufficient but in reality are utterly dependent on a system they can neither appreciate nor understand.
What’s the difference between a gun and a whiny liberal?
A gun only has one trigger.
Why did the Libertarian cross the road?
“None of your damn business. Am I being detained?”
Did you hear about the bar for West African bookstore workers with anti government views?
Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations.
How did the liberal get to the protest?
He used acab.
Why did the liberal not want to talk to the socialist?
Because they are anti-social.
How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
If it’s their lightbulb, none of your damn business.
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
A whine cellar.
What’s the hardest part about being a Liberal?
Telling your gender neutral parental units that you’re straight.
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Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?
It was hard to port.
What’s the difference between a libertarian wedding and a libertarian funeral?
One less opinion.
They say, “Everyone’s a liberal…”
“… until they get their first real full time job and see how much of their paycheck goes to taxes.”
What do you call a southern liberal?
How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let’s fix the current one in the dark.
Why don’t liberals like dentists?
Because dentists make teeth straight and white.
What do Libertarians call Tic Tacs?
Tics, because they’re against tacses.
Why do liberals hate apples?
Because they’re not PC bro!
Did you hear about the parent who pulled his kid out of pre-school because they were indoctrinating him into a socialist liberal mindset?
His teacher was teaching him how to share.
How do you turn a liberal into a conservative?
Move them out of their parents’ basement.
What’s the difference between a liberal and somebody with Downs?
Why did the company fire all of its Liberal employees and hire a bunch of illegal immigrants and Muslim refugees?
The illegal immigrants and Muslim refugees actually came to work than shout slogans and marches.
What do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster
Lack toast and tolerant.
Did you hear about the recent study on liberals?
The data shows that 1 in 3 liberals are just as stupid as the other two!
Do you know that Liberals are more generous than conservatives?
Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people’s money!
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What did the stoner liberal say to the conservative?
Alt-right alt-right alt-right.
Why do liberal courts don’t work?
Because they don’t like to judge anyone.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal?
Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
What is foreplay for a Liberal?
Thirty minutes of begging.
Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
What do liberals and homeless people have in common?
They are always asking for change.
Why did the Italian Libertarian quit his job at a car company?
Because he hated Fiat.
A Liberal found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”.
So the genie made him a Republican.
What is the best tea to drink on Independence Day?
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What’s the most liberal body of water?
The Aegean sea.
What’s the difference between a conservative bra and a liberal bra?
The conservative bra suppresses the masses, while the liberal bra makes mountains out of molehills.
Why did the Libertarian join the nudist colony?
Their slogan: “Don’t thread on me.”
Did you hear about the man who has a liberal penis?
Do you have another funny liberal joke? Post your liberal puns in the comment section below.