30 Monkeypox Jokes For Itchy Ones

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Jessica Amlee


Globally, the Coronavirus (Covid-19) epidemic has been devastating. And now it is the turn of Monkeypox. The World Health Organization (WHO) chief labelled the monkeypox outbreak a “global health emergency” on July 23, 2022. This year by July 2022, there have been over 16,000 cases of monkeypox in more than 75 countries, with five deaths in Africa.

Although the future may be dire, the ability to laugh at terrible circumstances is a historical marker of coping methods, so here are the best monkeypox jokes and puns.

Funny Monkeypox Jokes

What did the bartender say when ebola, covid, and monkeypox walk into his bar?

“What is this, some kinda sick joke?”

If you went crazy when you got Covid, what happens when you get monkeypox?

You go bananas.

What did the doctor say when the patient asked him if he could cure his monkeypox?

“I don’t make rash promises.”

A friend has monkeypox that’s given him a fever and a rash.

Atleast his WIFi is better with all the hotspots.

What do you call when an archbishop gets monkeypox?

Well, he is a primate!

What do you call a monkeypox patient flying in the sky?

A hot air baboon!

WHO declares the rapidly spreading monkeypox outbreak a global health emergency.

WHO cares.

What do you call a monkeypox patient at the south pole?


What do you call a magician who has monkeypox?

Hairy Potter!

Why do people hate monkeypox jokes?

It takes them 2 weeks to find out if they get it.

What if you are well although you did test positive for monkeypox?

You are achimptomatic!

Recommended: Monkeypox Memes

What’s black and white and red all over?

A panda with monkeypox.

What do you call a cluster of monkeypox patients?


What do you call someone who is vaccinated against chicken pox and monkeypox?

2Pox Secure.

Why are people on Facebook freaking out about a monkeypox vaccine?

They think it’ll have a microchimp.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

Sponge Bob with monkeypox.

Why do you call an anti-vaxxer who deliberately wants to catch chickenpox?

It’s a rash decision!

What do you call people developing rashes who have contracted monkeypox?


What do you give a pig with monkeypox?


Why can’t a roof get monkeypox?

It already has the shingles.

What do COVID and Monkeypox do for laughs?

They tell jokes about people!

Why didn’t the kid with the monkeypox take a vacation?

His dermatologist told him to apply the medication locally.

Why shouldn’t you get in a fight with a monkeypox patient?

They use gorilla warfare!

Yo mama is so monkeypox, she keeps trying to spread, but nobody wants her.

Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes

What does a cloud with monkeypox do for its rash?

Find the nearest skyscraper.

Why did the monkeypox cross the road?

To take care of monkey business.

Why shouldn’t you tell monkeypox jokes?

They will just spread it.

How does a monkeypox-infected Harry Potter get rid of a rash?

With quit-itch!

What do you call a patient with monkeypox who is eager to leave the hospital soon?

Itching to get out of there.

I was on the phone with my doctor and told him I think I’ve contracted monkeypox and could I make an appointment to see him.

He told me to swing by tomorrow.

Have a better one-liner or joke than the ones listed above about monkeypox? Please share your thoughts in the comments box below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “30 Monkeypox Jokes For Itchy Ones”

  1. I’m so glad there are jokes about monkeypox! I get itchy all the time and it’s really hard to find something to make me feel better. Thanks for making me feel better!


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