30 Funny Pantomime Jokes And Puns for Theatrical Laughs

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Jessica Amlee

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Pantomime is a type of musical comedy stage production, traditionally performed during the Christmas and New Year Season. Originating in the United Kingdom, these theatrical shows are known for their family-friendly storylines, slapstick humour, audience participation, and characters often based on fairy tales. Pantomimes are characterized by their unique conventions, including the use of a principal boy played by a female actress and a dame played by a male actor. These performances are beloved for their festive spirit, bright costumes, and the joy they bring to audiences of all ages, encapsulating the fun and whimsy of the holiday season.

Panto Jokes are the glue that holds the pantomime together, the icing on the hilarious cake, the reason why youngsters roll their eyes and adults quietly laugh. The pantomime would be a mere shell of its funny self without these jewels of wit and humour. So, the next time you go to see a pantomime, keep in mind that it’s not just about the extravagant costumes and singalongs – it’s also about the power of a well-timed pun to make you laugh till your sides hurt.

Best Panto Jokes

What do you call an out-of-breath clown?

What do you call a funny picture of Charlie Chaplin?
A panto-meme.

This man went to the library and asked, “Do you have a book about pantomimes?”
“It’s behind you,” said the librarian.

Did you hear about the man who just came out and said, ‘When I was younger I was molested by a mime…’?
The man further added, “He did unspeakable things to me.”

What was Bruce Lee’s stage name when he worked as a pantomime?
Quiet Lee.

Did you hear that the acting group started casting for this year’s pantomime, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?
Little Johnny didn’t get the part he wanted…he wasn’t happy.

How do you save a drowning pantomime actor?
Throw them a life-preserver, but make sure it’s an invisible one!

Why did the pantomime villain refuse to fight?
He didn’t want to make a scene!

How does a pantomime actor change a light bulb?
They don’t, they just pretend it’s already lit!

Two old men are sitting on either end of a park bench.
On one side, the old man is quietly reading his newspaper. On the other end of the bench, that old man is pantomiming fishing. He takes out an imaginary worm, baits an imaginary hook, casts out with his imaginary rod, and slowly reels in the imaginary line. He then unhooks an imaginary fish, drops it in an imaginary bucket, and then starts the whole process over.
After a while, a policeman comes up to the pair. The man reading the paper nearly folds it and greets the officer
The officer says “Hey fella, is your buddy OK? Some of the other parkgoers are a little worried about his behaviour”.
“Oh, don’t pay no mind to Charlie”, says the old man. “He lives over at the home, and I try to get him some fresh air from time to time. He’s harmless. He always enjoyed fishing, and now that his mind ain’t what it used to be, he reverts back to what made him happy. But I reckon we have been out here a while. I’ll get him back home”.
“Alright, 8I’ll know next time I see you guys at the park not to worry”, says the officer. “Be safe getting back”.
“Will do”, responds the old man. “Looks like the wind is picking up.”
With those final words, the old man begins fiercely rowing.

Recommended: Funny Mime Jokes

A panto is a British play where the audience gets to cheer the hero and boo the villain.
In this recent show, the villain came out and said, “I don’t mind the boos.”

There is a sign outside a neighbourhood theatre. It read: “Pantomime tonight.”
Who on Earth wants to see a silent theatrical performance from a pan?!

Why couldn’t the pantomime actor play cards?
Because he always got stuck in an invisible box!

A family of five is going on vacation.
They’ve rented an RV for the cross-country trip. They loaded the RV with household items, clothing, recreational gear, pets and food. Off they go! The car crashes into a brick wall minutes after starting the journey. Everyone is killed except the pet monkey.
Police investigate but can’t find a reason for the crash. They bring the monkey in for questioning.
Police: What was the mother doing before the crash? Monkey pantomimes applying lipstick using the rearview mirror. Police: Ahhh she had the mirror turned. This might have caused the crash.
Police: What were the kids doing before the crash? Monkey pantomimes kids fighting. Police: Ahhh, the kids caused a distraction. This might have caused the crash.
Police: What was the Dad doing before the crash? Monkey pantomimes drinking out of a bottle. Police: Ahhh. The father was drinking. This might have caused the crash.
Police: What were you doing before the crash? Monkey pantomimes holding a steering wheel and driving.

Did you hear about the man who had this job of a pantomime horse?
But he quit while he was ahead.

What’s the worst thing about being a pantomime cow?
Getting milked in front of an audience!

How do pantomime actors say goodbye?
They don’t, they just fade away!

It was a cold winter day when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute and WHAM! A largemouth bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.
The old man couldn’t believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another big bass.
This went on and on until finally, the old man couldn’t take it any more since he hadn’t caught a thing all this time. He went to the boy and said, “Son, I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?”
The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.” “What was that?” the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.” “Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word you are saying.”
And the boy said, [pantomime spitting into your hand] “You have to keep the worms warm.”

Why did the panto horse quit its job?
It just couldn’t stand the rear-view mirror comments!

Why did the pantomime actor go to the doctor?
Because he had a bad case of “mime-itis”!

Why did the pantomime actor get lost?
Because he took a wrong turn at the invisible crossroads!

Some construction workers are putting up a building.
The foreman is five stories up on the roof, about to cut some 2 x 4’s when he realizes he doesn’t have a saw. He shouts down to a worker on the ground.
“Hey!,” the foreman yells. “I need a saw!”
The worker shrugs, unable to hear him over the machinery.
So the foreman shouts again, this time pantomiming:
“I” Pointing to his eye… “Need” He slaps his knee with his hand… “A Saw!” He moves his arm back and forth in a sawing motion.
The worker’s eyes light up with recognition. He immediately drops his pants and begins masturbating.
Furious, the foreman makes his way down the scaffolding and storms over to the worker, who’s still going to town on himself.
“What the hell is wrong with you” The foreman yells. “I said I needed a saw!”
“I know,” said the still-erect worker. “I was about to tell you I’m coming.”

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?
He wanted to have some stage presents.

Recommended: Best Christmas Tree Jokes

Why don’t pantomime actors ever lose at hide and seek?
Because they’re always unseen!

A pantomime horse walks into a bar.
The barman asks, “Would you like a pint?”
The horse replies, “No, two halves.”

What’s a pantomime actor’s favourite game?
Charades, because actions speak louder than words!

Why did the pantomime actor sit on the clock?
To be right on “mime”!

Do you have a funny Christmas joke about Pantomime? Write down the puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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