50 Saturday Jokes And Puns To Start A Weekend

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Jessica Amlee

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Every weekday except Sunday, Saturday is the most anticipated day of the week. Individuals at work are constantly anticipating the weekend when they will be able to unwind and enjoy themselves to their hearts’ content without interruption. As we get closer to this momentous day, the majority of us are anxious. It’s the best time of year to spend time with friends and family when you’re not working. For the most part, this day is when most people have the freedom to do anything they want. 

Enjoy this fantastic collection of funny Saturday jokes as you enjoy the weekend with laughter and fun.

Funny Saturday Jokes 

On a Saturday, how do you make a blonde laugh?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Yo mama so stupid, she actually thinks that Saturday is ‘Sadder day.’

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it saw someone from work on a Saturday.

Girlfriend: Hey look this ice cream place has sundaes for $4.50!
Boyfriend: How much do Saturday’s cost?!

Does anyone ever notice the word Saturday has the word “turd” in it?
Sorry, that’s a sh*t joke.

What troubles do Ghosts have throughout the whole week?
Saturday fright fever.

Why couldn’t I go to a dumpling party on Saturday morning?
I had to work on Friday night.

What do ghosts like to do on a Saturday night?

Every Saturday, a man goes to the same bar and gets three glasses of whiskey, which he quickly consumes before leaving the pub.
After more than a year of doing this, the bartender becomes intrigued and asks, “If you don’t mind me asking, why do you always order three shots?”
“I’ve got two brothers, mate. We used to meet together every Saturday and order one glass of whiskey for each of us since we were old enough to drink. Because they are now in another country, I am drinking for all of us.”
Following that, the man finishes his whiskey and departs. The same as before.
After a few weeks, the man returns to the bar and orders two glasses of whiskey. “I hope nothing happened to one of your brothers,” the bartender inquires again.
“No, dude, they’re OK,” the man says.
“I just quit drinking.”

On Saturday afternoons, what do chicken families do?
They go on peck-nics.

What’s more depressing than realizing that today is Thursday?
Wait two days, then it would be a sadder day.

On Saturday nights, where do cows go?
To the mooooovies.

Why are you dressing like a British detective this Saturday?
So, you’ll be Holmes for Christmas.

Son: Dad, I’m thirsty.
Father: I’m Friday. Come over Saturday and we can have a sundae.

Recommended: Weekend Memes

What is The Weeknd’s real name?
Saturday Sunday.

Why are Saturday and Sunday so powerful?
Because all the other days are week days.

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

What happens when you buy toothpaste that is for weakened enamel on Monday?
Too bad you have to wait until Saturday to use it.

Why was Saturday night fever so contagious?
Because it was spread by disco-inferno!

What do you call a lazy Saturday afternoon?
A snooze fest!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Arthur who?)
Arthur any good movies to watch on Saturday?

Why was John Travolta in bed Sunday?
He had a Saturday night fever.

What day of the week cries the most?

Will you go to the nudist club meeting next Saturday?
One goes if they have nothing on.

Did you hear the story about Saturday and Sunday?
It’s got a great start but quite a weekend.

What does John Wick get told on a Saturday night?
“Wick’s almost over.”

What do you tell someone when they ask if there are any gun ranges open on Saturday?
“Schools are closed on the weekends, buddy.”

How does an analog and digital clock spend a Saturday night?
They watch a movie.

What did the jesters say at the end of the first sketch?
Live from York, it’s Saturday Knight!

How do you know if Saturday and Sunday love someone?
They get weekend in the knees.

Why didn’t Saturday and Sunday get picked to play the second round of dodgeball?
The rest of the team could see they were already weekened in the first round.

Recommended: Monday Jokes

Why did Saturday put on sunscreen?
SUNday was coming.

Why wasn’t Saturday the 14th worried about Friday the 13th?
Because it’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Knighting ceremonies usually take place on the weekend.
One likes Saturday knights better than Sunday knights.

What day doesn’t end with ‘y’?

Joe and his friend Ryan decided to go golfing one lovely Saturday morning.
When a funeral procession passed by on the adjoining road, Joe was setting up his tee. Joe instantly removed his hat and stood motionless until the parade passed. “Joe, that’s one of the most courteous things I’ve ever seen,” Ryan added.
“Well, after all, we were married for 35 years,” Joe responds.

Why couldn’t the grape assist his friend with his move on Saturday?
Because he was in a jam.

On a Saturday night in a supermarket, a man walks up to the cashier with a six-pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. “Single, huh?” says the cashier.
“Yeah, how can you tell?” the man laughs.
“Because you’re ugly,” the cashier says.

When do Saturdays turn sour?
When it turns Sunday.

What do you call a person who is rude and uncivil?
No class like school on a Saturday.

Two friends went for a walk on Saturday.
One dog was a Doberman, while the other was a Chihuahua. “Let’s go over to that pub and get something to drink,” the guy with the Doberman suggested to his friend as they strolled down the street.
“We can’t go in there because we have dogs,” the guy with the Chihuahua remarked. “Just follow my lead,” the person with the Doberman answered. They walked over to the bar, and the guy with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and began to walk in.
“Sorry, Mac, no dogs permitted,” remarked the bouncer at the door. The owner of the Doberman responded, “You don’t get it. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.” “A Doberman pinscher?” inquired the bouncer. The gentleman replied, “Yes, they are now in use. They’re excellent.” “Come on in,” shouted the bouncer.
What the heck, thought the friend with the Chihuahua, so he put on a pair of dark glasses and began to stroll in. He was certain he would be even more incredible.
“Sorry, pal, no pets permitted,” the bouncer remarked once more. The owner of the Chihuahua stated, “You don’t get it. This is my Seeing-Eye dog.” “A Chihuahua?” inquired the bouncer. The owner of the Chihuahua stated, “Is that a Chihuahua? I was given a f*cking Chihuahua?”

Recommended: Sunday Jokes

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
The slaughterhouse.

What is Saturday famous for?
It is the laundry day of the week.

What is the difference between Saturday and every other day?
On Saturday, you do multi-slacking instead of multitasking.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Gladys who?)
Gladys the Saturday!

Which day of the week does one need the most?
A day between Sunday and Saturday.

Where do spirits go on Saturday?

What do necrophiles and alcoholics have in common?
They both spend Saturday night cracking open a cold one.

Every Saturday the ex-husband goes to pick up the children from his ex-wife.
When it’s time to bring them back, he always gets a handy reminder from Amber Alert.

Please feel free to share these humorous Saturday jokes and puns with your coworkers and friends on social media sites like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram Twitter, Reddit and others.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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