50 Funny Thursday Jokes To Make You Laugh

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Jessica Amlee

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Here are the funniest and most laughable Thursday jokes to help you pass the time if you’re having a bad day at work. The middle of the week can be a huge hindrance to being productive for the remainder of the workweek. The good news is that these puns and dad jokes may be able to brighten your day even more than normal.

We send our best wishes to everyone on this great Thursday! It will be Friday before we know it, and the weekend will be here before we know it. Let’s move on to the list.

Best Thursday Jokes 

What do the French call a bad Thursday?
A tra-jeudi.

Yo mama so cool, she let you stay up till 9 instead of 8 on a Thursday.

What do you call a Thursday that feels a bit off?
Thirst-day, because it’s always craving the weekend.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Thurs who?)
Thurs no better day to share a joke than today!

An employee asks his boss, “Can I take the day off Thursday, sir?
The boss replies, “Yeah sure, you have earned it.”
The employee says, “Thurs.”

Why can’t Thursday be the most depressing day of the week?
Wait two days, it will be a sadder day.

What’s the worst that might happen on Friday?
You realize it’s Thursday.

Why did Thursday go to therapy?
It was suffering from a serious case of almost-Friday syndrome!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Iran who?)
Iran over here to tell you “It’s Thursday!”

Which kind of bird does not fly on Fridays?
A one that died on a Thursday.

What is the busiest day for a chiropractor?
Throwback Thursday.

A guy comes home early on Friday and finds his wife sleeping with one of his best friends.
He gets angry, pulls out his 45, and kills them both.
The next day his other best friend visits him in jail and says, “It could be worse”.
The man replies, “Two people are dead, I am locked in jail waiting for the electric chair!”
His friend says again, “It could be worse.”
The man exclaims, “How could it be worse!?”
His friend says, “You could have come home early on Thursday when we were both there!”

How was your ear operation?

Why are Thursdays the most useless days?
Because it only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week and it’s still not over.

What is the other name of Thursday?
Day 4 of the hostage situation.

Judas says, “Are you coming to the Last Supper this Thursday?”
Jesus replies, “What do you mean ‘last’ supper?
Judas explains, “Sorry, sorry, I meant supper, supper!”

On Thursday, James went to his doctor to go through his results and findings. The doc informed him that he had both good and terrible news for him.
“Bad news is I should have told you on Tuesday.
“The good news is that you have 48 hours to live,” he told James.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia?

What is Loki’s least favorite day of the week?
Thor’s Day.

I like listening to Classical music on Thursdays.
I call it Throw-Bach Thursdays.

What do procrastinators do on Thursdays?
They decide that they are gonna stop procrastinating next Thursday!

A youthful, cheerful woman enters an elevator with an older man. “TGIF!” says the woman with a big smile.
“S.h.i.t,” he deadpans as he slowly turns to face her.
Thinking he didn’t hear her, the woman gently repeats “T.G.I.F.”
He merely says, “S.h.i.t.” as slowly as he can.
“TGIF is for Thank God It’s Friday!, Silly!” she exclaims, exasperated.
“I know that Honey, but it’s Thursday,” the man responds.

Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In a dictionary.

Which days start with a ‘T’ other than Tuesdays and Thursdays?
Today and Tomorrow.

What is Thriday?
That moment when Thursday starts to feel a lot like a Friday.

Why should Mother’s Day fall on Thursday and not Sunday?
So that mothers can say, “It’s mo’Thursday.”

Three elderly ladies sit on a park bench.
The first tells her companions, “Wow, it’s windy today.”
The second responds, “No, it’s Thursday.”
The third says, “So am I. Let’s get a drink.”

What was the trouble with Peter’s new girlfriend?
Peter’s new girlfriend works as a bin lady. He can’t remember if he’s supposed to take her out Wednesday or Thursday,

What did the employee say when the boss demanded the reason for coming late to work 4 times that week?
He replied, “Because it’s only Thursday.”

What is Thanksgiving called in England?

It’s the first day of a prisoner’s sentence. He’s a young inmate who is sobbing. An older inmate approaches and takes a seat. Look, he adds, it’s not so awful here. Do you, for example, enjoy watching movies? “Yeah, I adore movies,” the new guy says. Every Monday, we offer a first-run movie night. Do you enjoy Italian cuisine? “Yeah, I prefer Italian food,” the newcomer says. On Tuesdays, the cafeteria serves only Italian cuisine. Do you enjoy baseball? “I adore baseball,” says the newcomer. Every Wednesday, we have a pick-up game in which everyone, even the guards, participates; it is a lot of fun.
“One more question, are you a homosexual?” the older inmate asks. “No,” says the newcomer.
“Ah, you’re not going to like Thursdays.”

Do you want to get a sundae?
No thanks, it’s only Thursday.

Why shouldn’t you cut your hair on a Wednesday?
Because the next day is grow back Thursday.

How do you confuse someone?
Ladders on a Thursday!

What happens when the fattest person on Earth dies?
The cremation will be next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

Patient: I think I’m psychic, doc.
Doctor: When did this happen, dear?
Patient: Next Thursday.

On which day of the week do you drink the most water?

Why are physicists having such a difficult time determining why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?
Causal Fridays.

Which day of the week sees the highest sales of soft drinks?

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Thursby who?)
Thursby the time we’re done laughing, it’ll be Friday!

Remember the farmers who were to attend a meeting on Thursday morning?
None of them turnip.

When my brother and I were kids, our parents had Thursday penciled in as “date night”.
That’s the night we had to eat all the expired food in the fridge.

Why do some every Thursday sit back and appreciate life?
They sure do love Thoreau Back Thursdays.

Why is it risky to jerk off to your Instagram feed on a Thursday?
Sometimes girls don’t post throwbacks.

I only drink on days beginning with “T”.
Tuesday, Thursday, today, and tomorrow.

I only work on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.
And people are like “WTF?”

Why does Thursday beat Saturday?
Because Saturday is weakened

Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor…
And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!

Recommended: Wednesday Jokes

What do you call a truckload of vibrators?

Why was the new joinee who joined the autopsy club last week very excited about Thursday?
Because Thursday is open Mike night.

Hope you loved these jokes on Thursday! Let us know if these hilarious puns and one-liners could make your Thursday more enjoyable.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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