Summer Dad Jokes are a special kind of comedy that come out when the sun is blazing, the grill is sizzling, and the lawn needs mowing for the fifth time this week. Dads suddenly gain superpowers like flipping burgers with one hand and delivering a pun with the other. It’s the season when cargo shorts multiply, socks-and-sandals are a bold fashion choice, and every car ride turns into a concert of bad puns and worse singing. The hotter the weather, the cooler the dad confidence.
This is the time when dad jokes reach their peak performance. They are louder, cheesier, and 100% more punny. You’ll find dads everywhere tossing out one-liners like sunscreen, whether anyone asked or not. It’s their way of beating the heat, one groan at a time. Summer Dad Jokes are less about being funny and more about being unreasonably proud of a joke that makes everyone else sigh and walk away slowly.
Best Summer Dad Jokes
What’s Irish and sits outside in the summer?
Paddy O’Furniture!
Where do crayons go for vacation?
Colorado.
Why did the hipster wear a flannel in the summer?
He wore flannel before it was cool.
What vacation spot only allows birds?
The Canary Islands!
What’s the difference between Spring Break and Summer Break?
Jumping on the bed won’t make a Summer Break.
What do you do if you get rejected from a job at a sun cream factory?
Re-apply!
Humpty Dumpty’s summer last year was terrible.
But he had a great fall.
Where do sheep go on vacation?
To the Baa-hamas.
Why don’t rabbits ever get hot in the summer?
Because they have hare-conditioning!
Two sausages are in a frying pan.
The first sausage says to the second sausage, “It sure is hot in here.”
The second sausage says, “EEEEEEK! Talking sausage!”
What is the thieves’ favorite summer drink?
Heist tea.
When is it safe to dive into a pool?
It deep ends.
Recommended: Summer Jokes for Kids
What does YouTube wear in the summer?
YouTube shorts.
What is a frog’s favorite summertime treat?
Hopsicles.
Why did the lions move at the end of summer?
Because the pride goeth before the fall.
What’s a penguin’s least favorite vacation destination?
Wales.
What did the bee say about the summer weather?
“Swarm.”
What’s brown and hairy and covered in sunscreen?
A coconut on summer vacation.
Why do gymnasts never season their food in the winter?
Because they only like summer salts.
Why did the battery go on summer vacation?
He needed to recharge.
Did you hear there is a blockbuster movie about databases coming out this summer?
Many thought this would be a really original movie, but turned out to be a SQL.
What should a baby wear to go swimming?
Pool-ups!
Recommended: Summer Jokes
What do vampires eat at late summer cookouts?
Corn on the cobwebs.
What kind of scientists sit under beach umbrellas?
Paleontologists.
What does a pirate use to keep cool in the summer?
A sea.
Why can’t basketball players take summer vacation?
Traveling is not allowed.
What do ghosts like to eat at the beach?
I-scream!
What do you call a bear that likes to spend his summers at the North Pole and his winters at the South?
A bi-polar bear.
How did the stadium get hot after the game?
All the fans left.
How can you tell the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?
By their seasoning.
Where do vegetables go on vacation?
Okrahoma.
What was the most unexpected summer hit of all time?
DES…
PA….
-nish Inquisition.
How did the boy tide pool impress the girl tide pool?
He showed off his mussels.
How’s y’all’s summer bods looking?
Mines looking like I have a great personality.
What’s the one vegetable not welcome on a cruise?
A leek.
What’s the easiest way to lose 20 pounds?
The Steam summer sale.
What’s stressed out and sits on the ocean floor?
A nervous wreck.
What do monsters turn on in the summer?
A scare conditioner.
What has ears but can’t hear in the summer?
A corn field, of course!
Recommended: Summer Memes
Where do birds stay when they go on vacation?
Someplace cheep.
What did the ice cream do when it got mad?
It melted down.
Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Lake Eerie.
Where do pet goldfish go on vacation?
All around the globe.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
What does Sonic wear to the beach?
A Speed-O!
Where do freshwater fish keep their money?
In a river bank.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool party?
They dropped their trunks.
What did Yogi Bear pack for his summer picnic?
The bear necessities.
When do you go at red and stop at green?
When you’re eating a watermelon
What’s gray and has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse on vacation.
What is the sun’s favorite genre of music?
Ray-ggae!
Why are mountains the funniest place to vacation?
They are hill-arious.
Recommended: Hot Weather Jokes
What did the news reporter say to the ice cream cone?
“Give me the scoop.”
What’s black and white and red all over?
A prisoner without sunscreen.
What happens when you throw a library full of books into the sea?
You get a title wave.
What is the Australian visiting England on his holidays doing?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
Why did the dolphin cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming?
Glass flippers.
How do you treat a sunburned pirate?
With some arrrrr-gan oil.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
“Can you please be more Pacific?”
What’s the coolest letter in the alphabet?
Iced T.
Why don’t seashells shower?
Because they wash up on the beach.
What’s the secret to Jesus’ summer beach body?
Cross fit.
What do the detectives find on a beach?
Something fishy.
Where do small mammals go on vacation?
Hamsterdam!
What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company?
Reapply.
Where did the boat go when it got sick?
Straight to the dock.
Recommended: Hot Weather Memes
Why did the science teacher jump into the pool?
To test the water.
Why did the tomato turn red during summer camp?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the banana apply sunscreen?
Because it peels.
What do you get when you combine an elephant and a whale?
Swimming trunks.
What does a frog drink in the summer?
Diet croak.
Why doesn’t the sun go to university?
It already has millions of degrees.
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
Why don’t fish take vacations?
Because they’re in schools.
What kind of water cannot freeze?
Hot water.
Recommended: Summer Jokes for Work
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
“Long time, no sea.”
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo-York.
Why did the man pour warm water on his computer?
His windows froze…
Where do ants travel to for summer vacation?
Frants.
Why did the seagrass blush?
It saw the sea’s bottom.
What do you call a snowman in the summertime?
A puddle.
Why did the robot go on vacation?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
What did Mama Llama say to the baby llama as they prepared for a picnic?
“Alpaca lunch.”
How does the ocean stay up to date on the news?
It follows current events.
What does Bread do on summer vacation?
It just loafs around.
What do you call someone who likes to add numbers when the weather is warm?
A summer.
During summer, who keeps the ocean clean?
Mermaids, of course.
Why did the bee do when it got too hot?
Took of its yellow jacket.
What is 90 degrees but covered in ice?
North and South Pole!
Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?
They don’t want to relax and unwind.
Why do they call it summer school?
Cause it’s sum-more school.
How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in winter.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Finland.
What do snowmen do in summer?
Chillout.
Why do fish eat worms?
They’re hooked.
What wears a coat in winter and pants in the summer?
A dog!
What does the sun drink from?
Sunglasses.
During the summer, how do swimmers keep themselves clean?
They wash up on shore.
How does the sun cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
How does summer turn to fall?
Autumnatically.
Where do wolves like to stay while on vacation?
At the Howl-iday Inn!
What do you call a poodle by the pool?
A hot dog.
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
How do you know if the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
Bald men always seem to do better in the summer.
Must be their time to shine.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is.
What’s the best day to go to the beach?
Sunday.
Where do spirits go on a summer vacation?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the ice cream truck get stuck?
Rocky road.
What do you call a mathematician who spends all summer in the sun?
A tangent.
What do sheep eat in the summer?
Baa-baa-cue.
Recommended: AC Jokes
What type of humor do people have who don’t like to swim in summer?
Dry sense of humor.
What is black and white in color with red all over?
A sunburned Zebra!
Where do pencils go for vacation?
Pennsylvania!
What did the pig call himself on a hot summer day?
“I’m bacon!”
Why does the ice cream cone get invited to all the parties?
Because it’s cool.
Where do bees stay while on vacation?
Air Bee and Bee.
Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?
Air bee and bee.
Why do birds fly north in the summer?
Because it’s too far to walk.
What’s the mathematics teachers’ favorite season?
Summer.
Recommended: Ice Cream Jokes
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sandwich.
Why don’t Mexicans like high vacation spots?
They have vertaco.
Why was the skeleton sad in the summer time?
It had no body to go swimming with.
Why is ice cream always invited to all the parties?
It’s cool.
Why did the soup get in trouble?
Because it was in hot water!
Why do pirates like swimming so much?
They love all the cannonballs.
Where do cats go on summer vacations?
They visit meow-seum.
Why does the camera take terrible photos in the summer?
Because it’s focused on relaxation!
How do you prevent dry skin after swimming?
Avoid using a towel.
Recommended: Father’s Day Dad Jokes
What do you call a barbecue for seniors?
A golden grill.
What do you say to a sweaty puppy?
You are one hot dog!
What places do dentists sail during summers?
Down the root canal.
What do frogs like to drink on a hot summer day?
Croak-o-cola.
What race is never run?
A swimming race.
Why did the professor put on his sunglasses?
Because his students were bright.
Teacher: “A child has ten cents, two dollars, and seven cents left. How much money does he have for this summer?”
Student: “Clearly, there is a money problem.”
What do you pay to spend a day on the beach?
Sand dollars.
Why is Pride month always in the summer?
Because Pride cometh before the Fall.
Recommended: Adult Summer Jokes
Why do fireflies love summer?
Because they’re good at lighting up a room!
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
How do you cool down a chicken when it’s too hot?
Dip it in Ranch!
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
Dunno, they’re just a bit shady.
What’s an egg’s favorite vacation spot?
New Yolk City.
Do you have a funny Summer Dad Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
I considered visiting Bangkok over the summer.
But then I thought, “eh, Phuket.”