60 Funny Taylor Swift Jokes to Shake It Off

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Jessica Amlee


Taylor Swift, an iconic figure in the music industry, has become a household name synonymous with catchy tunes, heartfelt lyrics, and an impressive array of awards. Known for her narrative songwriting, she has a unique ability to connect with fans through songs that often reflect her personal experiences. Swift’s evolution from country sweetheart to pop superstar has been marked by a series of chart-topping albums and high-profile performances, cementing her status as a multi-genre, influential artist in the modern music scene.

The humor surrounding Taylor Swift often centers on her well-known narrative style, particularly her candidness in addressing past relationships and life experiences in her music. Jokes playfully allude to the idea of having a relationship ‘Swiftified’ into a hit song, the rollercoaster of her musical genres, and her ever-loyal fan base’s readiness to decode every lyric for hidden meanings. These puns encapsulate the lighthearted aspects of being a fan or the subject of her music, showcasing the cultural impact of her storytelling prowess.

Best Taylor Swift Jokes

Did you hear that Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday?
But he didn’t wave back. So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

It was really sad when Taylor Swift played her last concert in our town last night.
The end of an Era.

Taylor Swift stumbles upon a Time Machine.
She accidentally goes back in time and wanders into a university. As she’s looking around an older man walks in talking to someone about how galaxies are moving away from us.
The man sees her and asks, “Who might you be, young lady?”
“I’m Taylor Swift,” she answers, and he is about to introduce himself when she holds up her hand to stop him. “I knew you were Hubble when you walked in.”

Taylor Swift is dating an American footballer.
Wonder if she lets him score in her tight end.

If Taylor Swift fans are called Swifties, what do we call Carrie Underwood’s fans?

Why are Taylor Swift’s songs always a hit?
Because swift never misses (pokemon).

Why should Taylor Swift avoid political discussions?
The queen made millions on songs based on her bad choices in men. Still endorses Biden.

Did you hear about the fan who just bought Taylor Swift’s hair comb in an online auction?
It’s his closest brush with fame.

What happens when Taylor and Travis split?
Her breakup album name will be called … “Holding.”

Taylor Swifts latest song sounds almost exactly like one of Madonnas hits from the 80s.
It’s Borderline plagiarism.

Does Taylor Swift choose men with names that have good rhymes?
Like Travis Kelce? Stealthy, Wealthy, Unhealthy… the “breakup” song almost writes itself.

Have you ever tried to buy tickets to the Taylor concert?
It isn’’t so Swift.

Recommended: Funny Taylor Swift Puns

What do you call a person who is really fast at altering clothes?
Tailor Swift.

Isn’t ending a relationship with Taylor Swift the best way to make it more public?
You get a whole album.

What is Taylor Swift’s computer password?

Yo mama so fat, her shirt size has more X’s than Taylor Swift.

Interviewer at concert: Why do you think you’re a fan of Taylor Swift?
Fan: Idk, it’s like her music is tay-lored for me specifically!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Riverboat who?)
Riverboat young when I first saw you!

What did the mechanic do when the owner took his car to the shop after it started making this whining noise?
Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.

What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common?
Bad blood.

What do you call a fast clothes maker?
Taylor Swift.

Did you know that Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift’s relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public?
Guess she wanted it to be more Loki.

Did you hear when Taylor Swift was awarded $1 in her abuse case after it was proven a DJ touched her bottom?
For a woman with an a*** that flat, $1 seems extortionate.

Taylor Swift only makes music for girls who give toothy head.
Billie Eilish only makes music for girls who give Beachy Head.

Does Taylor Swift wipe after going poo?
No, she just shakes it off.

What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common?
They’ll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar.

What is Taylor Swift’s favorite vegetable?
This. Sick. Beet.

What’s the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?
The stale Pepsi won’t write a song about me after you dump it.

A deranged fan sneaked into Taylor Swift’s dressing room.
She didn’t hear him coming.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Taylor Swift was a Swiffer Wet Jet.

Did you hear about the guy who used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift?
But now he thinks, “I’m finally clean.”

Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, and Jeffrey Skilling were asked what 2 + 2 is.
Swift said, “I don’t know,” and she meant it.
Mars said, “4.”
And Skilling said, “What would you like it to be?”

What do you say if you ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan?
“I knew you were trouble when you clocked in.”

What do Taylor Swift and Chinese history have in common?
They both have a Blank Space in 1989.

What did the three eggs say to Taylor Swift?
“Omelette you finish.”

Did you hear that all of Taylor Swift’s exes are collaborating on a new album?
It’s called “Maybe She’s the Problem.”

Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn’t have in her purse?
Her boyfriend’s phone number.

Yo mama so ugly, she scares off more boys than Taylor Swift.

If Taylor Swift fans are called swifties, what do we call Carrie Underwood’s fans?

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Which celebrity is known for its fast sewing capabilities?
Taylor Swift.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swi…
Beyoncé had one of the greatest knock knock jokes of all time!

What’s the difference between an argument with seamen and a popular female musician?
One’s a sailors’ tiff, the other’s a Taylor Swift.

What did Taylor Swift say when she entered a ruined building?
“I knew you were rubble when I walked in.”

Why did Taylor Swift bring a compass to the party?
Because she wanted to “find her way back with a thousand lies and a good disguise.”

Amazon has come up with a new service where they will deliver custom-made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.
It’s called Tailor Swift.

Why did Taylor Swift go to art school?
Because she wanted to learn how to “Paint the town blue!”

Taylor Swift: So he calls me up and he’s all like “I still love you” and I’m like…
Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?

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Why did Taylor Swift start a bakery?
Because she always knew “Bakers gonna bake, bake, bake, bake, bake.”

Why doesn’t Taylor Swift ever get lost on a hike?
Because she always knows “the way home.”

What’s Taylor Swift’s favorite gaming console?
Wiiiiiiii are never, ever, ever getting back together!

What do John Wilkes Booth and Taylor Swift have in common?
They both know how to get a crowd going.

How do people know Taylor Swift had a break up?
Because she releases a whole album about it.

Why didn’t the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.

Why did Taylor Swift bring a ladder to the studio?
Because she wanted to “reach the high notes”!

Did you hear that KFC is serving a Taylor Swift special?
It consists of two long skinny legs, two small breasts, and a left wing.

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What’s the difference between an H3 and Taylor Swift?
One’s a well known singer and the other is just a hummer.

Why doesn’t Taylor Swift have a nice a**?
She shook it off.

Why isn’t Taylor Swift a pair of congruent triangles?
Because there’s no A**.

What’s got 10,000 legs and three pubes?
A Taylor Swift concert.

What’s a Parkinson’s disease victim’s least favorite song?
Taylor Swift – Shake it off!

What’s weird about Taylor Swift’s songs?
She has 500 songs about blokes leaving her and 0 songs about bl**jobs.

Swifties, now it’s your turn to take the mic! Got a Taylor Swift joke that’s been your crowd-pleaser? Share it in the comments below and let’s keep this laughter concert going. After all, we could all use a little more humor in our “Love Story” with Taylor!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

13 thoughts on “60 Funny Taylor Swift Jokes to Shake It Off”

  1. My favorite songs are on a playlist called Taylist
    I also made a shirt that says “repu-tay-tion”
    I sell a bathmat with “I’m finally clean” on it
    I drove a Camery for a few years that I often referred to as the Tayota
    I once caught a Meowth and named it Taylor just so that I could have the option pop up for “TAYLOR used SWIFT”

  2. These are very offensive jokes, you are a sick human being. You’re the reason why Taylor wrote her song ‘Mean’ cause all you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life.

    • You foolish human by being defensive over such a horrible artist only makes you look stupid and she clearly doesn’t give two sh*ts about people talking bad about her as “haters gonna hate hate hate” so now you just look like a dumbass and her songs have nothing to do with these other haters and if they do then that’s even more bullsh*t like every single person is going to have a hater. The fact that little you over here cant handle that is pathetic. It is hard for me to believe that anyone even has such a bad taste in music now I don’t mind if someone likes a type of music

    • WOW that’s not sexist like if I said “I bet a woman made this design cuz it sucks” THEN IM THE BAD GUY yeah put yourself out of the god damn box and think before you post. I beive that its actually ok to say something like that and I agree with you. BUT I think that its not right that only one gender can do it like since i was born with a p*nis I cant say stuff you can thats f*cked up is it not? So please never say sh*t like that again. Thanks for your time!

      • I agree many of these jokes are absolute dog sh*t along with the song artist herself and the whole though of getting here to talk to other “swifties” makes me wanna barf I am friends with many people who enjoy listening to Taylor Swift. However they are not part of the STUPID club like thing of “swifties’ I still think her music is sh*t but if you choose to listen to it then well ok I guess we can have different opions but the fact that you choose to join this DUMBASS cult like thing you are simply foolish and are just like everyone else. You are so f*cking dumb you just go with the crowd.

  3. I think these jokes are funny. The SWIFTIES are behaving like the creator hates taylor and her fans. I feel sorry for this generation where they only laugh at silly dad jokes.

  4. I downloaded TikTok to see what all the fuss was about. The first video that I saw was a slightly overweight cat walking with a sassy walk across someone’s kitchen floor while Taylor Swift played in the background and now I want to overthrow Western democracy.


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