40 Funny Tequila Jokes And Puns to Spice Up Your Happy Hour

Updated on:

Jessica Amlee


Tequila is not only a popular drink but also a source of inspiration for many jokes and one-liners. Whether you prefer it straight up or in a delicious margarita, the humor around tequila is undeniable. From clever puns to cheesy one-liners, there’s no shortage of laughs to be had. In our collection of tequila jokes, we’ve gathered the funniest and most entertaining jokes that are sure to make you chuckle.

Whether you’re looking to impress your drinking buddies or just need a good laugh, our tequila jokes are sure to deliver. So, grab a bottle of your favorite tequila, sit back, and enjoy the humor!

Best Tequila Jokes

What is an English teacher’s favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird.

How do you get a promotion at work?
All you have to do is walk into your office shouting, “Vodka! Tequila! Sambuca!” at the top of your lungs. This will make you the person who calls the shots.

How many tequilas does it take to get drunk?
Just one. Don’t remember if it’s after the tenth or eleventh.

Did you hear about National Tequila Day?
Many weren’t gonna celebrate, but then they thought they’d give it a shot.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Tequila who?)
Tequila me, but I think I left my keys in your bar.

What happens when you cross Santa Claus with five shots of tequila?
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

A Star Wars fan orders 3 tequilas, 2 whiskeys, and 1 fireball. What does he start with?
Solo shot first.

What happens when you spill tequila at the pudding factory?
The proof is in the pudding.

Do you know that Tequila may not fix your life?!
But it’s worth a shot!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Juan who?)
Juan more Tequila shot and I’ll be dancing on the bar!

What’s the difference between a fox and a dog?
About 8 tequilas.

What does tequila prove?
That happiness is the moment between lemon and salt.

A man walks into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila.
The shots are lined up by the bartender, and the man begins taking them one after the other. “Wow, you’re drinking those fairly quickly,” the bartender remarks.
“You would too if you had what I have,” the man adds.
“What do you have?” the bartender asks, taking a cautious step back.
“Fifty cents,” the man says.

How do you make a margarita blush?
You give it a little Tequila!

Recommended: Margarita Jokes

What do you get when you mix apple juice and tequila?
A diaharita.

Why was the stormtrooper covered in tequila?
He missed all his shots.

Why did Tequila go to the party alone?
Because it wanted to be a shot by itself!

Why did Tequila decide to take a vacation?
It needed to “lime” down!

What do you call a group of Tequila shots?
A round of applause!

Why don’t skeletons drink Tequila?
They don’t have the stomach for it!

What do you call a Tequila that’s gone bad?
A te-kill-ya!

What do a law student and a recovering tequila drinker have in common?
They both have to pass the bar.

What do you call it when you sip tequila inside a cave?
It’s a shot in the dark.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Recommended: Mexican Jokes

A man picks up a lamp lying in the street.
Out pops a genie that offers him one wish. “I wish for tequila whenever I want it,” the man says. “Make me pee tequila!”
The genie grants the wish and when the man gets home he urinates in a glass. It’s the best tequila he has ever tasted. The man convinces his wife to drink a glass, and she loves it. So, he sets out two glasses and fills them with tequila. The two drink all night.
The next night, the man tells his wife, “Grab one glass and we’ll drink tequila.”
“Why only one glass?” she asks.
“Because tonight,” the man replies, “you drink straight from the bottle.”

What starts with a T and ends with you on the floor?

How does Harry Potter order tequila shots?
“Patron us!”

How do you get a smartphone drunk?
A Screenshot of Tequila.

Did you hear about the man who is allergic to tequila?
Every time he drinks it he breaks out in handcuffs.

What does a shot of 1800 Tequila and a Woman have in common?
Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila and then checks his pocket.
This is something he does repeatedly.
Ultimately, the bartender inquires as to why he orders a shot of tequila and then looks into his pocket.
“I have a photo of my wife in there,” the man replied, “and when she starts to look good, I’ll go home.”

What kind of tequila does someone with a foot fetish drink?

Why did Hitler avoid drinking tequila?
It made him mean.

Why did Mexicans create tequila?
So ugly people would have a chance at coitus!

Did you see the guy in the supermarket who was rushing around the shop and brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros, and 12 piñatas?
Hispanic buying.

Did you know this fact about Tequila?
Everyone has a hidden talent they don’t know about until the tequila is poured.

Do you have a Tequila joke? Post your own Tequila puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

2 thoughts on “40 Funny Tequila Jokes And Puns to Spice Up Your Happy Hour”

Leave a Comment