Mexicans, with their rich cultural tapestry that includes vibrant fiestas, spicy cuisine, and the melodious strains of mariachi, often approach life with a zest that is as infectious as it is spirited. The nation’s collective sense of humor is as bold and flavorful as a well-seasoned taco, often spiced up with playful stereotypes that range from their love for siestas to a universal passion for soccer. These Hispanic stereotypes, while exaggerated, are embraced with a good-natured chuckle and serve as a common thread in the colorful fabric of Mexican identity. They provide a palette of comic material that locals and admirers alike dip into, painting a picture of Mexican life that is as whimsical as it is affectionate, setting the stage for a fiesta of laughs where the punchlines are served up with a side of salsa.
Mexican jokes, then, are a vibrant fiesta of wit, a lively samba of words that celebrates the quirks of a culture rich with history and heart. These puns dance around the sombrero of stereotypes, toasting to the humorous side of life that Mexicans navigate with an easy grace and a ready laugh. With a cadence as lively as a street market, these jokes toss light-hearted jabs and pun-filled passes back and forth, in a communal celebration of what it means to love and laugh in Mexico. From the warmth of the desert sun to the cool reprieve of a cantina, Mexican jokes are a testament to the enduring spirit of humor that pulses through the country’s veins.
Best Mexican Jokes
Why’d the Mexican cross the road?
He took the chicken’s job.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
In the early ’80s, Michael Jackson almost founded a Mexican restaurant, and “Billy Jean” was originally recorded as a promo for the restaurant.
He was going to call it ‘Nacho Daddy’.
How did Mexican salamanders get so smart?
They axalotl questions.
What does the Mexican duck say?
A Mexican is applying for citizenship.
And for the final portion, the proctor says, “Okay, I need you to come up with an English sentence that contains the words ‘green, pink, and yellow’.”
The man smiled and said, “When the phone goes ‘green green’, I pink it up and say ‘yellow’!”
Why do some people hate Mexican jokes?
They always cross the line.
Do you know about the phrase “Jesus loves you”?
A wonderful thing to hear in church but a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
How do Mexicans slice their pizza?
With little caesars.
What did the Mexican fireman name his two kids?
Jose and Hose-B.
A Hispanic magician has been killing it with his audience all night. For the finale, he tells the spectators that he will vanish on the count of three. “Uno, dos…” he says.
Poof … He disappears without a tres.
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives.
How does every Mexican joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
A Hispanic carpenter is feeling depressed.
After living a life of always reading other people’s directions and instructions to do his job, he decides he wants to make his own decision for once: Committing suicide.
So he scribbles down some words on a piece of paper and reviews what he wrote, nodding in approval. He hops into his car in his garage and tapes a garden hose to the exhaust pipe. He starts his car and puts the hose in his mouth, inhaling deeply, anticipating the sweet release of death. Soon after, he succumbs to his poison of choice and falls down, dying slowly as if he were simply falling asleep.
His wife comes home and discovers him. Horrified, she sees a piece of paper next to him and picks it up, thinking it will be a suicide note to give her some clarity on what made him choose this terrible act. In familiar handwriting, she sees scribbled on the page:
Step 1: Connect José to hose B.
What do you call an environmentally-conscious Mexican?
A Green Bean.
What do you call a Mexican guy who’s car got stolen?
Why don’t Mexicans cross the river in groups of 4?
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Has anyone ever had a Mexican white wine?
It’s a Pinot Gringo
Recommended: Mexican Word Of The Day
A Mexican man who didn’t speak English entered a retail shop to buy socks.
He made his way to the menswear section, where a young lady offered to assist him.
“Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
“I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man.
“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man.
“These sweaters are top quality,” the salesgirl probed.
“No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.
“Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.
“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!”
“Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.
What do you call an inquisitive Hispanic rodent?
Por que pine.
How many Hispanic fathers tell dad jokes?
Only the funny Juans.
What is the only reason Donald Trump watches the Olympics or World Championships?
So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
What do you call a Mexican hitchhiker?
What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a white man with no girlfriend?
Cholo vs Solo.
Why do some people say, “Taco Bell isn’t real Mexican”?
It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That’s about as Mexican as it gets.
Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
They only had 2 vans.
Why don’t Mexicans barbecue?
The beans fall through the grill.
A Mexican actor died while performing stunts for a movie.
During the funeral, his mother walks toward the director and says, “Jesus died for your scenes.”
A billionaire tasked a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican with teaching his stubborn pet parrot to talk in two weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a huge sum of money was offered to the first person who got the parrot to talk.
Throughout the span, the Canadian played documentaries for the parrot and spent all of his time reciting the alphabet and reading stories to the parrot.
The American pampered him with the richest food, brought him all the females with whom he might mate and made every effort to spoil the parrot as much as possible.
The Mexican thrashed the parrot mercilessly every day, kept him in a dark room with no food or water, and locked him up.
When the timer expired, the billionaire arrived to discover the parrot still unable to communicate, so he asked the three trainers about their progress.
The Canadian says, “I tried everything; I devoted all of my time and energy to teaching him the alphabet and reading to him! Nothing was working.”
“I have spoilt him beyond belief, given him every luxury imaginable, and yet he won’t speak!” says the American.
At last, the Mexican says, “I have also treated him with love and luxury, attempted to teach him words day and night, and spent all of my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!”
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out, “You lying motherf*cker!”
How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?
Where did the Mexican man hide when he was scared?
What is Mexicans’ favorite sport?
What are Mexican proteins made of?
What do you call a midget beaner?
A paragraph cause he isn’t a full essay
Recommended: Short People Jokes
What do you call a female Mexican midget?
What’s the difference between E.T. and a Mexican?
E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite bookstore?
Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
So they’ll have something to unwrap.
Bill Gates realized his Mexican housekeepers had left when he woke the following Monday morning.
He asked his wife Melinda where they had gone, to which she replied that Steve Jobs had arrived earlier and offered them the same job at his mansion for double their current wages.
Bill became angry and shouted in frustration, “F*cking Jobs, coming here and taking our immigrants!”
What’s a Mexican’s favorite band?
Hispanic at the Disco!
Who runs Mexican Amazon?
How do you keep a Mexican from stealing?
Put everything on the top shelf.
Why did the Mexican family have 20 people in their car?
Because they needed to leave room for groceries.
Why did God not have Jesus in Mexico?
He couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
Why does nobody play Uno with Mexicans?
They always steal the green cards. Beaners.
How do you know when Asians are moving into the neighborhood?
When the Mexicans start buying car insurance.
Recommended: Asian Jokes
The Canadian, American, and Mexican police, have to capture a deer that has been released into the woods
The Canadian police make a big sweep of the zone and stuff and take them 7 hours
The Americans use satellites and stuff, takes them 5 hours
The Mexicans go into the woods and 10 minutes after come with a beaten dog, when the people ask them why they bring a dog, one of the policemen looks at the dog and asks, “What are you?”
Immediately the dog starts screaming, “I’m a deer, im a deer!”
Why didn’t the Mexican archer fire his bow?
He didn’t habanero.
What do you call a Mexican space chicken?
What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they reached the “No Trespassing” sign?
“It’s ok because there are only two of us.”
What’s the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?
Jesus doesn’t have any tattoos of Mexicans.
What do you call a Mexican who transitions?
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed” asked one detective.
“With a golf gun,” replied the second detective.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.”
What do you call a Hispanic sniper?
A Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park but the employee let him in any way.
When later asked about the reason, he said, “Typically I’m a stickler about this sort of thing. But I’m gonna let this Juan slide.”
What’s a Mexican favorite type of joke?
What does Arigato mean?
A Mexican cat named Ari.
What would you call Cyborg if he was Mexican?
What do you call a Mexican anime about pirates?
What do you call Hispanic men that are over 65 years old?
What does a dyslexic Mexican smoke?
Recommended: Dyslexic Jokes
How does a dyslexic Mexican say hello?
Why Mexicans are the toughest crew in school?
They never turn in their essays.
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the US.
Wandering aimlessly and starving, They are about to lie down and accept their death when all of a sudden Luis says, “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk.”
“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon.”
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, candied bacon, Canadian bacon, and smoked bacon. In fact there is every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Pepe, Pepe, we are saved! Issa bacon tree.”
“Luis, maybe it’s a mirage? We’re in the desert, don’t forget.”
“Pepe, since when did you ever hear of a mirage that smells like bacon… it’s no mirage, it’s a bacon tree.”
Luis staggers towards the tree as a result. He gets about 5 meters away, Pepe close following when a machine gun opens fire on them, and Luis falls like a wet sock. With his dying breath, Luis warns Pepe, who is badly wounded, “Pepe… Go back man, you were right, it’s not a bacon tree!”
“Luis, Luis mi amigo… What is it?”
“Pepe.. it’s not a bacon tree. Its…
Its a ham bush!”
What do Mexicans eat when it’s cold out?
Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?
They give him good case ideas.
What do you call four Hispanic people in a leaky boat?
What do you call exponential Hispanic?
Do you know those Americans who form patrols to stop Mexicans from getting into the country?
They’re borderline racists.
What book do Mexican students read in English class?
Tequila mocking bird.
What do you call an undead Mexican?
How do you get a Mexican uncle’s attention?
Tap-a-tio on the shoulder.
A Japanese guy and Mexican guy get into an argument
Things start getting really heated and the Mexican guy says, “Let’s take this outside!”
The Japanese guy says, “Let’s go, but I’ll warn you, I know Judo !!!”
The Mexican guy says, “O ya, well I know Mexican Judo.”
The Japanese guy looks confused and says, “What the hell is Mexican Judo?!?”
The Mexican guy responds, “Judo know if I have a gun or Judo know if I have a knife!”
What do you call a 70-year-old Mexican?
A señor citizen.
Recommended: Funny Racist Jokes
Why did the Mexican keep a wheel of cheddar in his truck?
In Queso emergencies.
What is Pac-Man’s favorite appetizer at Mexican restaurants?
Chips and guaca-guaca-guaca-guaca.
What do you call a baptized Mexican?
What do you call electrified Mexican food?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
The Mexican blind cavefish.
What do you call Hispanic gnomes?
The dying Mexican lay on his deathbed.
He had only a few hours to live until he smelled tamales. He loved tamales beyond all other foods, especially his wife’s tamales. The sick Mexican dragged himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen, with every ounce of energy he could muster. He noticed his wife pulling a fresh batch of tamales from the stove. His wife whacked him in the face with a wooden spoon as he reached for one of the newly prepared tamales.
“Leave them alone, Cabron, they’re for the funeral.”
What do Mexicans wear to keep warm in winter?
A fleece Navidad.
What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
What do you call Hispanic man without a car?
What do you call a Mexican that’s just got out of the hospital?
What do you call a Mexican boy band?
How do you know if a Mexican woman is pregnant?
Stuff a burrito up her vag and if it comes out half-eaten you’ve got a little beaner on the way.
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks “When am I going to die?”
The fortune teller replies, “You will die on a major Mexican holiday.”
Trump asks, “Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?”
The fortune teller replies, “Any day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!”
Recommended: Cinco de Mayo Jokes
What do you call a Mexican drowning in mayonnaise?
Sinko de Mayo.
What happened to the old Mexican when he moved from Houston to Santa Fe?
He became a New Mexican.
What does a Mexican cow call his friends?
What does a Mexican have under his carpet?
What’s a Mexican’s favorite cereal?
What do you call a Hispanic with a vasectomy?
A dry Martinez.
What’s the Mexican Netflix & Chill?
A Mexican guy is found unresponsive on a highway outside Tijuana. He is rushed to the nearest hospital after local officials call an ambulance.
Unfortunately, the medics find that he has consumed a deadly amount of drugs and that nothing can be done to save him. He dies within a few minutes, and the doctor notes “1/2” as the cause of death. Curious, the nurse inquires as to what this seemingly irrelevant fraction has to do with the death of this guy.
The doctor explains, “Juan over-dos.”
What day of the week do Mexicans play D&D?
How do you get Mexican food at the beach?
You dig your feet into the sand. Then you have buried toes.
What do you call a Mexican who likes to zipline in the Bahamas?
Did you hear about the Mexican guy who finished first in the marathon despite getting a late start?
He was on delay.
What question did the Mexican pig ask the other Mexican pig?
What do you call a Mexican girl with no ass?
Recommended: Ass Jokes
A politician from Mexico is dining with a politician from the United States.
They are eating at the home of an American politician. A six-bedroom home with two Mercedes-Benzes in the front. There’s also a 500-square-foot garden.
The Mexican politician complimented how magnificent his house was and how he could afford it.
The American politician says, “See that road over there? It was supposed to have four lanes instead of three.”
After a few months, the Mexican leader invited the American to his home in Mexico. When the American came, he noticed the Mexican had a 30-bedroom mansion, a lush orchard, and a big garden, as well as bodyguards and a Lambo, a Mercedes, a Porsche, and a few SUVs in front.
Awe struck the American asked, “How could you afford all of this?”
To which the Mexican replied, “See that bridge there?”
Confused the American said, “What bridge?”
“Exactly,” the Mexican said.
What did the Mexican call his boat?
What do a fat chick and a brick have in common?
Eventually, they’ll both get laid by a Mexican.
Why do Mexicans make good prosecutors?
They’re great at getting around defense.
A Hispanic photon walks into a bar.
Why do pimps like to meet at Mexican restaurants?
Because they get to talk-hoes.
What do you call a group of high Mexicans?
A man stepped onto a plane and took his seat. As he settled in, he noticed the most stunning woman boarding the plane. He quickly understood she was coming right towards his seat. As luck would have it, she sat down next to his.
He blurted out, eager to start a conversation. “Business or pleasure?”
She turned around, smiled, and said. “Business. “I’ll be in Boston for the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention.”
He swallowed hard. He had never seen a more beautiful woman. She was sitting next to him, and she was heading to a nymphomaniac convention!
He asked softly, struggling to keep his cool. “What is your purpose for attending this convention?”
“Lecturer “She replied. “I use facts from my personal experiences to refute some of the common misunderstandings regarding sexuality.”
“Really?” He stated. “And what kinds of myths exist?”
“Well.” She elaborated. “One common misconception is that African-American males are the most endowed of all men, but in fact, Native American Indians are the most likely to possess that trait.” Another common misconception is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, but in fact, men of Mexican descent are the best. I’ve also noticed that the lover with the most stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
The woman blushed as she became uncomfortably aware of her surroundings. “I apologise.” “I shouldn’t really be talking any of this with you,” she said. “I don’t even know what your name is.”
“Tonto.” The man said. “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba.”
What did the Mexican say when his house fell on him?
Get off me homes.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says No Tres passing.
What did the Mexican say when he drove his Audi off the bridge?
What do you call a Mexican woman with three b**bs?
Recommended: B**b Jokes
Why do Mexicans always get hungry at family reunions?
Because they keep introducing everyone as “This is Tor Tio and this Tortilla.”
What do Hispanic Jews celebrate?
An American, a Brit, and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: “We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!”
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining “We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!”
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
“Why did you do that?!” exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. “He killed my wife.”
What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book actually has papers.
What is the difference between guacamole and Mexican courtrooms?
One is full of avocados and the other is full of abogados.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite pick up line?
“Ey baby I rate you a 9/10 because I’m the Juan you need.”
What should a duck do, if a mole eats his Mexican food?
Quack a Mole.
What do you call a guy with a Mexican mom and a Chinese dad who desires something?
A white guy, a black guy, and a Mexican guy are applying for the same job.
The boss reviews their resumes, realizes they are all equally qualified and is unable to pick who to hire. He decides to put them to the test.
The boss declares, “I can’t pick who gets the job because you’re all equal in every aspect. So here’s a question: whoever comes up with the best response gets the job. Feel free to share your best sentence with the words liver and cheese.”
The white dude says, “Well, golly. I like liver but I don’t like cheese.”
Boss replies, “Ok, not bad.”
Black dude says, “Aight, I like cheese, but I don’t like liver.”
Boss replies, “Well, ok, that’s not bad.”
Mexican dude says, “ Liver alone, cheese mine.”
What do you call a guy whos half Mexican, and half German?
A Beaner Schnitzel.
What did the Hispanic Gordon Ramsey say to the contestants after tasting their food?
What is the first rule of the Mexican fight club?
You don’t taco about it.
What is a Mexican’s favorite weed?
What do you call a fat Mexican singer?
El Ton John.
What do you call a sad Mexican hat?
Jose, a young Mexican man, was curious about America and snuck across the border.
He wanted to attend a baseball game so he could tell his family about it when he got home. When he arrived, the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of a flag pole to enjoy a better view. When he got home, his family was eager to hear about his travels:
“What happened?” asked his family.
“Well, America is the nicest place in the world,” he said. “Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me, and said, “Jose, can you see?”
What do you call a Mexican born in Taipei?
How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest?
Alien vs predator.
Yo mama’s like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so dumb, when her teacher asked her to do an essay she f*cked a Mexican.
Yo Mama is so ugly, Mexico built a wall to keep her out.
How are Mexican and African jokes all pretty much the same?
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
What do you call a Mexican girl with no legs?
A man is strolling through his neighborhood mall when he spots a Mexican bookstore. He goes in because he has never seen one before.
He looks around the store before asking the clerk, “Do you have the book on Donald Trump’s foreign policy with Mexico?”
The clerk replies, “F*ck you, get out, stay out!”
The man replies, “Yeah right, that’s the one.”
What do they call Ariana Grande in Mexico?
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger tell his Mexican girlfriend when she has to go back to Mexico?
“Hasta la visa, baby.”
What’s the difference between Mexico and New Mexico?
According to breaking bad, it’s a yellow filter.
What caused the Mexican to push his wife off a cliff?
He wanted Tequila.
Did you hear about the nervous Spaniard?
He was always pushing the Hispanic button.
Recommended: Taco Jokes
What do you call a Mexican white nationalist group?
Why don’t more Mexicans win gold medals swimming in the Olympics?
Because all the good ones already swam out of the country!
Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed and Driver’s Ed on the same day?
They have to give the donkey a break at some point.
What do you call a Mexican craftsman?
What do you call the Mexican secret service?
FB ay ayay ay.
What did the Star Wars-obsessed Mexican couple name their son?
What do you call a Mexican who is laying down?
A Mexican man, let’s call him Carlos, applies for a job at the Pentagon.
As part of the hiring process, they send a couple of agents to talk to the man’s friends, family and any associates to see if they can find anything that would show that he’s not suitable for the job. When the agents go to talk to the man, they tell him that nobody from his hometown said that they knew him. When the man returns to his hometown, he first sees his two nephews.
They run up to him saying “Uncle Carlos Uncle Carlos! There were a bunch of feds looking for you, so we told them we had no idea who you were!”
How do we know that the US founding fathers were pro-mexican?
The national anthem doesn’t say: “Hey Frank, look over there!” Instead it says: “Jose can you see.”
What do the folks of Mexico eat when it gets cold?
Recommended: Burritos Jokes
What did the Hispanic test say when he ran into his friend?
What do they call Sea World in Mexico?
What kind of food do they give sl*tty horses in Mexico?
What do Mexican p*rn and Christianity have in common?
They both have Jesus coming.
What does a Mexican call a little Muslim church?
How does a gay Mexican greet another gay Mexican?
If Mexicans are called ‘beaners’ because they eat beans, then what do black people eat?
What do you call a Mexican lesbian?
As we conclude this entertaining exploration of Mexican jokes, we’d love to invite our readers to take part in the fun by sharing their own clever and one-liners in the comments section below. Let’s come together to celebrate the rich culture and humor of Mexico while fostering a spirited community of Mexican joke aficionados. Don’t hold back, amigos; your wit and creativity can bring smiles to others and liven up our growing collection of jokes. We’re all here to enjoy a hearty chuckle, so feel free to unleash your inner comedian and make us all laugh. We eagerly await your hilarious contributions, and who knows, your joke might just make its way into our next showcase of Mexican humor! ¡Que siga la risa, everyone!