99 Funny Fart Jokes And Puns That Don’t Stink

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Jessica Amlee

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Farting, or flatulence, is a natural bodily function that is a normal part of digestion. It is caused by releasing gas from the digestive system through the anus.

People often make jokes about farting because it can be a source of humor and embarrassment, especially in social situations. Farting can be seen as a taboo or embarrassing topic, and making jokes about it can be a way to break the ice or diffuse any awkwardness around the subject.

In addition, farting is something that everyone experiences, and making jokes about it can be a way to relate to others and find common ground. Fart jokes can also be a form of playful or good-natured ribbing or teasing between friends or family members.

Overall, fart jokes are a way for people to find humor in a natural and universal aspect of human biology.

Best Fart Jokes

How come nobody at the king’s table laughed when he farted?
Because noble gases don’t cause reactions.

What do you say when a dinosaur farts?
“That was a blast from the past!”

What do you call it when you have farted on your wallet?
Gas Money.

Yo mama smells so awful, she hides her odor by farting.

Why would everyone get pissed if you fart in the Apple Store?
They don’t have Windows.

What is born skinless, flies wingless, and sings until it dies?
A fart.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Far Don.
(Far Don who?)
Fart on YOU!

Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them too.

What’s a fart?
A turd honking for the right of way.

How are farts like children?
You’re proud of yours but disgusted by others. Also, if you’re not careful how you handle them they’ll turn out to be little sh*ts.

What do you call someone who helps you learn to fart?
A Tooter.

What did one Egyptian say to the other when they farted at the same time?
“Looks like we’ve got a Tutankhamen.”

Yo mama so fat, when she farted at the beach, a whale said, “Why are you yelling?”

What do the US military and a fart have in common?
Air Force.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Fart who?)
Two fart butts said, “I Fart You!”

Do you know why women fart after they pee?
They can’t shake it so they need to blow dry.

Why do men fart more often than women?
Because women don’t close their mouths long enough to build up the pressure.

Why do women fart once they are married?
They now are living with an asshole.

Little Johnny farts in class, and his teacher becomes enraged and sends him out.
He walks outside the classroom and can’t stop giggling. The principal passes by and notices him. “Johnny, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” he inquires.
“I farted in class, and the teacher expelled me.” “Well, then, why are you laughing?” the principal asks again.
“Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I’m outside in the fresh air.”

Where do duck farts come from?
Their buttquacks.

Recommended: Butt Jokes

Why did the skeleton burp in church?
He didn’t have the guts to fart!

Did you know some women do not fart?
They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

Yo mama’s breath so bad, it smells like she farted in reverse.

How is Success similar to a fart?
It only bothers people when it’s not their own.

What do you call when the kid tried to flatulate while lying on his back but his balls got in the way?
It was a scrotal eclipse of the fart.

Why should February 10th be National Fart Day?
Because it’s 2/10.

A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents. The girl farts softly while they are eating. The father-in-law, irritated by the strange odor, exclaims, “Rocky!!”
The girl is relieved that her future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair, but she lets one more rip after a few minutes. The boy’s father is getting anxious and shouts, “Rocky!! be careful now!!”
Worried no more the girl fires another one. Feeling exasperated, the boy’s father yells, “Rocky! Get out of there fast! She’s gonna sh*t on you!”

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?
A private tutor.

What’s the difference between a wise guy and a butt sniffer?
One’s a smart fella, the other is a fart smella.

Where do you buy anti-fart medicine?
At the defartment store.

Yo mama so stank, her farts are outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

Where do lactose intolerant farts come from?
A Dairy-air.

Recommended: Lactose Intolerance Jokes

What happens when you fart quietly?

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts.

What is a fart fetishist’s favorite article of clothing?

An old married couple is laying in bed when the husband fart. “Seven points,” he says.
His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”
The old man replied, “Its fart football.”
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score…”
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”
Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, “What the hell was that?”
The old man says, “Half time, switch sides.”

What do call a caveman’s fart?
A blast from the past.

What did the Maxi Pad say to the fart?
“You are the wind beneath my wings.”

Yo mama so stupid, she farted at a funeral and blamed it on the guy in the casket.

What do roads and farts have in common?

What happens if you fart in church?
You have to sit in your own pew.

Recommended: Diarrhea Jokes

Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?
Because it’ll blow his cover.

In a car, there is a Scientist, a Mathematician, and an Idiot. All three are killed when their car collides with a tree. They are sent to purgatory, where the Devil awaits.
“Unfortunately, because heaven is now quite full, I will only allow one of you enter,” the Devil explains. “Anyone who can ask me a question that I cannot accurately answer will be accepted to heaven. The remainder will perish in hell.”
So the scientist takes the initiative and asks, “What is the most difficult formula known to science?” The Devil snaps his fingers, revealing a stack of papers. The scientist reads them and is forced to agree. He has been sent to hell.
The mathematician then poses the Devil with the most difficult arithmetic problem at the time. The Devil snaps his fingers, revealing yet another stack of papers. When the mathematician reads them, he is forced to accept the answer and is likewise sent to hell.
Finally, the Idiot takes the stage. He requests a chair. A chair arises when the Devil snaps his fingers. After that, the Idiot instructs him to drill seven holes in the seat. When the Devil snaps his fingers, there are seven holes. The Idiot then sits in the chair and farts long and loudly.
He asks, “What hole did that fart come out of?”
The Devil examines the chair closely and says, “Third hole from the right.”
“Wrong. It came from my asshole.”

Judge: Please spell your first name for the recorder.
Criminal: ‘A’, ‘L’, ‘F’,……’A’, ‘R’, ‘T’,…..’F’, ‘R’, ‘E’, ‘D’
Judge: Your first name is ‘Alfartfred’?
Criminal: No sir, it’s pronounced “Alfred”. The fart is silent.

What’s invisible and smells like fish?
Penguin farts.

Yo mama so stinky, she farts tear gas.

What do you call a replacement fart?
A substi-toot.

What’s the difference between a bad pun and a fart?
A pun is a shift of wit…!

What do you call it when Muhammad Ali farts?
Gaseous Clay.

Recommended: Poop Jokes for Kids

An Irishman and his son went to the zoo.
A sign says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”
The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps it’s foot 6 times.
“Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”
The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun…
A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice…
“Bajaysus that’s right,” said the father, “I am farty two!”

Have you seen that movie about farts yet?
It really stinks.

What do cow farts smell like?
Fresh derrière.

What do you call a murderer that can’t stop farting?
Jack the ripper.

Yo mama so old, she farts dust.

What happens when a communist trusts a fart?
They get skid Marx.

Do you know witches don’t fart?
They cast smells.

One day, a kindergarten teacher tries to explain the definition of the term “definitely” to her students. She invites the kids to use the word in a sentence to ensure that they understand it.
“The sky is definitely blue,” declares the first student, raising his hand.
“Well, that’s not totally right, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy,” the teacher explains.
“The grass is definitely green,” says another student.
“If grass doesn’t get enough water, it becomes brown, therefore it isn’t exactly correct either,” the teacher says again.
Another student raises his hand to inquire, “Do farts have lumps?”
“No, but that isn’t exactly a question you want to ask in class discussion,” the teacher says.
“Then I’ve definitely shit in my pants,” the student replies.

Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.

What did the mountain lion say when it had to fart?
“Puma finger.”

Yo mama so universally fat, every time she farts she creates a Gas Giant.

Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.

What do you call denying a fart?

Where is the only acceptable place to fart in public?
The Gas station.

On a transcontinental train, a man and a woman who had never met previously but were both married were allocated to the same sleeping compartment.
Despite being ashamed and anxious about sharing a cabin, they went to bed, he in the higher and she in the lower.
They were both wide awake at 1:00 a.m., and they both knew it.
He said, “I apologize for bothering you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet under your bed and retrieve a second blanket for me? I’m quite cold.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” she said. “Just for tonight, let us pretend we’re married.”
“That’s a fantastic idea!” he exclaimed, now completely excited.
“Good,” she replied. “Get your own f*cking blanket.”
After a moment of silence, he farted and did not care.

What happens when a clown farts?
It smells funny.

What did a T-Rex fart smell like?

Yo mama so big that her farts cause tornados.

What’s the difference between a saloon and an elephant’s fart?
One’s a bar room and the other’s a BARROOM!

What do you get when you swallow your gum and then fart?
A big ass bubble.

A woman offers to teach her boyfriend the meaning of 69ing.
He lies down on the floor, and she squats down over his face to take his place, farting. She stands up and apologizes, embarrassed. She squats again, but farts again, so she stands up and apologizes again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying “yeah this isn’t really for me, I’m not having 67 more of those in my face”

Recommended: 69 Puns

What do you call a Scotchman with diarrhea?
Brave fart.

What is it called when a knight farts during a jousting match?

Do you know what’s only 75 % art?

Yo mama so poor, she has to fart in the bathtub for a bubble bath.

What do you call a lonely fart?
A solitoot.

A little elderly lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a horrible issue with gas, but it doesn’t bother me much.”
“My farts are never audible and never smell. I’ve probably farted 15 times since I arrived, and you haven’t noticed.”
“Interesting,” says the doctor. “How about you take these medications and come back in a week?”
After a week, the old lady visits the doctor again.
“I don’t know what the hell you gave me,” the old lady exclaims. “My farts are still quiet, but they stink!”
The doctor says, “Excellent. Now that your sinuses are cleared, let’s work on your hearing.”

What do you call a good looking boxer that farts in elevators?
A hot boxer.

Which playing card is the stinkiest?
The Queen of Farts.

Yo mama so old, big bang theory was her fart.

Recommended: Best Queef Jokes

What do you call a Russian president that farts a lot?
Vladimir Tootin.

Why’s parting with friends stink so hard?
Cuz parting = poo + farting.

A woman walks into a cafe.
She overhears a bunch of males at the adjacent table while she is dining. “Let’s go with the easiest option. W-O-O-M is spelled correctly.”
“No, I’m sure there’s an R in there somewhere. W-O-O-M-R.”
“I believed it was longer, and I had a B. W-O-O-M-M-B-R-R.”
The woman has finally had enough. “Gentleman, the word you’re looking for is W-O-M-B, womb,” she adds as she walks up to the table. She goes away, the men staring after her.
Finally, one of the men turns back to the others, “Do you think she’s right?”
“Of course not. A slip of a girl like that, I don’t suppose she’s ever heard an elephant fart.”

What do you call a vampire fart?
A Nosfera-toot.

What piece of paper farts the most?
The Consti-toot-ion.

Why was the fart traumatized?
Because it’s been through some shit.

Yo mama so fat, her fart will trigger the gas leak alarm.

What’s the quickest way to poop and fart at the same time?
Take a shartcut.

Three troops are on board an army jet that has crashed.
Each throws out one item to lighten the weight. The first fires an artillery round, the second fires a machine gun, and the third fires a radio. But it’s no good, as the plane continues to crash, forcing the three troops to jump out and parachute to safety.
When they land, they begin going back to base along the road. They come to a house with a tiny boy sobbing outside. When they ask him why he’s crying, he says, “I was playing in my garden when a radio hit me on the head.” The troops giggle awkwardly and continue on their way.
They come across another house that has a weeping boy outside. When they ask him why he’s crying, he says, “I was playing in my yard when a machine gun hit me in the foot.” Before going on, the troops exchange nervous glances.
Finally, they come across a boy absolutely dying of laughter, rolling around on the floor. They ask him what’s so funny and, after several seconds of trying to regain his composure he tells them, “I farted and my house blew up!”

What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Recommended: Gay Puns

What do you call a vegetarian fart?
Kale force wind.

Yo mama so black, she farts smoke.

What do you get when you eat peanut butter and baked beans?
A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass.

An elderly couple is in church.
The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”

What’s the opposite of “young, dumb, and full of cum”?
“Old, smart, and can’t trust a fart.”

What do you call a hooker’s fart?
A prostitoot.

Have you got a better fart joke? Please leave your Flatulence puns and one-liners in the comments section!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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