Wheelchairs, those modern chariots of freedom and speed, are quite the marvel. Think of them like race cars, but way cooler because you can actually use them indoors without getting into trouble. They come in all shapes and sizes, each one a personal statement of style – from sporty models that look like they’re ready to do a wheelie at any moment, to the luxurious ones that seem to say, “Yes, I do enjoy a good cup of tea while zooming down the hallway.” But it’s not just about getting from point A to B; it’s about doing it with flair and maybe even a little bit of mischief. And that’s where wheelchair jokes come into play.
Wheelchair jokes, a delightful blend of humor and wheels, are all about spinning a situation into something chuckle-worthy. They’re not just jokes; they’re like little turbo boosts of laughter for your day. Imagine zooming down a slope, feeling the wind in your hair, and then popping in a joke that has everyone rolling (pun intended) with laughter. It’s like adding racing stripes to your ride, but with words. These jokes are the secret ingredient to turning an ordinary wheelchair adventure into a comedy on wheels. But remember, the real magic of these jokes isn’t just in the punchline; it’s in the joyous spirit they bring to every roll and turn of the wheel!
Best Wheelchair Jokes
Why did the man take the wheelchair of the girl who broke up with him?
He wanted to see her crawling back to him.
Did you hear about the father who his son a new trampoline for Christmas?
But all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?
Because they’re easy to push around and never stand up for themselves.
Yo mama so fat, she needs a CDL to drive her wheelchair.
What is the hardest thing to chew while eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Did you hear about Timmy’s friend that accuses him of pushing him around and talking behind his back?
He is in a wheelchair and they get along quite well.
What did the librarian say when asked if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs?
She replied, “Yes, it’s up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left.”
Why do all vegetables sink when thrown in water?
The wheelchair weighs them down.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Recommended: Disabl*d Jokes
What did the cannibal do after eating vegetable?
He sold the wheelchair on eBay.
What do you call an incel in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?
They both can be used to carry vegetables.
Did you hear about the worst faith healer ever?
He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
Do you know why it is often you see people in wheelchairs unsuccessful?
They’re never outstanding.
While visiting the old folks home, little Charlie asks his grandmother, “Grandma, what is ‘dark humor’?”
His grandma replies, “Watch, I’ll show you.” She points at a man in a wheelchair, and says, “See that man over there? Go and ask him to stand up.”
Charlie gasps. “But grandma…!”
His grandma then points at a man with no arms. “And see him? Tell him to clap his hands! Hah!”
Charlie is visibly disgusted. “Grandma!”
His grandma then points at a woman with no teeth, and laughs, “Oh! Oh! And see her? Offer her some chewing gum!”
Finally, Charlie has had enough, and bursts out, “But grandma! I’m blind!”
His grandma erupts into a fit of laughter. “Exactly!”
Recommended: No Arms No Legs Jokes
Do you know people in wheelchairs just don’t get humor?
They never know when you’re pulling their leg.
Why can’t people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?
They can’t handle stares.
What’s the similarity between a guy in a wheelchair and a bad comedian?
They can’t do standup.
Do you know what they say about wheelchairs?
People can’t stand being in them.
Why do people use wheelchairs?
Cause they can’t stand walking anymore.
A man has been drinking alone in a pub all day and checks his watch.
“1:30 a.m., f*ck. I need to get home now or my wife will rip my balls off,” he tells himself. But as he tries to stand, he stumbles to the floor.
“I’m just way too drunk right now, and I need to sober up.”
So he asks the bartender for a coffee, drinks it, and 30 minutes later tries to stand up, but falls to the floor again, this time harder.
At this time, he understands he has no choice but to return home, so he begins crawling toward his house. He arrives after 40 minutes, lays down next to his (asleep) wife, and passes out.
The next morning, his wife wakes him up and asks, “So… how was last night, huh?” Was it fun to drink all day?”
The man is certain his wife was asleep when he arrived home, so he plays it cool, “Not really, just hanging out with some coworkers… we didn’t drink much… just a couple of beers.”
The woman starts nodding sarcastically and responds, “The bar owner called this morning, your wheelchair’s there, you dumbf*ck.”
What has 50 legs but can’t walk?
25 people in wheelchair.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hotwheels.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
How do you know your vegetables are cooked?
Wheelchairs float to the top.
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because you can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Recommended: Best Gay Jokes
Why couldn’t the handicapped man admit he was gay?
The closet door wasn’t wide enough for his wheelchair.
Three dis*bled men (a blind man, an amputee, and a wheelchair user) are returning from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three dis*bled men (the only survivors) are now stuck and waiting for help, but no one has shown up yet. They become extremely thirsty and decide to seek water. The amputee leads the path, while the blind man pushes the man in the wheelchair, till they reach an oasis. The amputee leader enters the water first, cools down, drinks a lot of water, walks out, and lo and behold, he has a new leg.
He becomes emotional and encourages his friends to follow suit. The blind man offers to push the man in the wheelchair, but he is refused since the man in the wheelchair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists on the blind man going first. So the blind man goes into the water, cools himself, drinks a lot of water, steps out, and lo and behold, he can see.
Now the guy in the wheelchair’s getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, new tires!
What do you call a funny person in a wheelchair?
A sit-down comedian.
What do you call a lawyer in a wheelchair?
A paralegal.
What do you call poop in a wheelchair?
A handicrap.
Why did the man start dating a woman in a wheelchair after many failed relationships?
She hasn’t walked out on him yet.
What do you call a band of wheelchair people?
Imagine Wagons.
A man is walking through the park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying.
“What’s wrong?” the man asks.
“Never been kissed before,” the girl says.
He kisses her and she goes home happy.
The next day, the same man is walking through the same park. Sees the same girl in the wheelchair again crying.
“What’s wrong?” the man asks.
“Never been wined and dined before,” the girl says.
So he takes her out for a beautiful meal, gets her drunk, and wheels her off home.
Again man walks through the park the following day. The girl was still in the wheelchair crying. “What’s wrong?” Asks man.
“Never been fcuked before,” says the girl.
So he picks up her and throws her in the river and says, “Well you’re fcuked now.”
What do you call a pedophile in a wheelchair?
A Creepy crawly.
Recommended: Pedophile Jokes
What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair?
Sushi roll.
Have you seen that there are so many places nowadays are still not wheelchair accessible?
We really need to ramp things up.
Why do people in wheelchairs get mad?
Because they are always getting pushed around.
What do you call a phone in a wheelchair?
An immobile phone.
Why were the people crying after googling “how to become a millionaire?”
The first result said, “Become a multi millionaire in 6 easy steps!”
A man dated a girl in a wheelchair.
Later, she broke up with him because he kept pushing her around.
He said, “Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”
What has two wheels and flies?
A person in a wheelchair falling off a cliff.
What’s better than winning a wheelchair race at the Special Olympics?
Having legs.
What do wheelchair people and 9/11 jumpers have in common?
They both hate stairs.
Recommended: Twin Tower Jokes
Why didn’t Superman save New York City on September 11?
Because he was in a wheelchair.
What do you call a ball related sport with wheelchair people?
Crip-ball.
What’s the hardest part about cooking vegetables?
Finding out what to do with the wheelchair.
Why isn’t the dude in a wheelchair a cassette player?
Because he isn’t a walkman.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
They can’t stand up for themselves.
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read: Husband wanted! Must be in my age group (70’s), must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants please apply in person.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you … you have no legs!” The old man smiled, “Therefore I cannot run around on you!”
She snorted. “You don’t have any hands either!” Again the old man smiled, “Nor can I beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. “Are you still good in bed?” With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile, and said, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
What do you call a deaf woman in a wheelchair?
Whatever you want, she can’t hear sh*t.
What do you call a wheelchair bound rapper?
Diss-ability.
What do you call a deaf, blind kid in a wheelchair?
Names.
Recommended: Blind Jokes
What do you call a Spanish demon in a wheelchair?
El Disablo.
What do they use to kill retards at Death Row?
The electric wheelchair.
What is the definition of cruelty?
Putting a bomb in a wheelchair and telling them to run!
A man attends a party and comes across a beautiful girl in a wheelchair.
They hit it off, and by the end of the night, they’re both really h*rny, and she invites him to her house.
When they reach the door, she grabs a duffel bag from behind a shrub and tells the man to escort her to the back of the home.
The guy is taken aback, but he accepts. When they arrive, she begins to strip and removes a harness from her bag, directing the guy to attach it to the tree and assist her in getting “in position.”
They have strange but fantastic sex, and after they’re done, he removes her from the harness, places her in the wheelchair, and assists her in getting inside her house.
As he walks away, the door opens again, and he sees the girl’s father calling him.
He starts walking faster to get away from the irate father, but he keeps calling him, and eventually, he pauses, bracing himself.
The dad catches up to him, and tells him, “Every Saturday morning I wake up to my naked daughter hanging from a tree, I just wanted to thank you for helping her get inside the house.”
Why does everyone feel the need to defend people in wheelchairs?
Honestly, let them stand up for themselves.
What do a wheelchair transport bus and a grocery truck have in common?
When they crash, the vegetables spill onto the road.
If normal women need lotion, what do women in wheelchairs need?
WD40.
What do you call an Indian in a wheelchair?
Vegetable curry.
Recommended: Indian Jokes
What is the best Halloween costume for someone in a wheelchair?
Being a Transformer. Autobots, Roll Out!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair when he’s high?
A baked potato.
A bartender is closing up and sees a customer lying on the floor.
He picks him up, and the guy falls down. He picks him up, guy falls down again. Finally, the bartender slings the guy over his shoulder and takes him to an address he finds in the guy’s wallet. When they get to the guy’s house the bartender stands him up again, and the guy crumples to the ground.
The bartender bangs on the door and the guy’s wife answers. “Here’s your drunken bum of a husband,” the bartender says.
The wife asks, “Where’s his wheelchair?”
What do you call eating out a girl in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
Where do you find a paralyzed man in a wheelchair?
The place where you left him.
Why can’t people in wheelchairs go to heaven?
Because there’s a stairway to heaven.
How do you tenderize a vegetable?
Beat it with the wheelchair.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
By his name.
Recommended: Anti Jokes
Why can wheelchair bound people survive underwater?
Because sharks don’t eat vegetables.
What do you call two cobras slithering down a wheelchair ramp?
Snakes on an inclined plane.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Who would win a race Adolf Hitler or a man in a wheelchair?
The man in a wheelchair because Hitler couldn’t finish the race.
What’s the best part about having a paraplegic girlfriend?
If she wants to break up with you, you take her wheelchair off and she crawls back to you.
What is the difference between an alcoholic and a wheelchair user?
None, neither one can climb stairs.
What do you call a scuba diver in a wheelchair?
A sea cucumber.
What do you get when you kill three people on wheelchairs in a row?
A cripple-kill.
What do you call a Chinese person in a wheelchair?
No leg wok.
Recommended: Chinese Jokes
What is the hardest part about being a professional wheelchair basketball player?
Standing for the national anthem.
What do you call a piece of soap on a wheelchair?
A handicapped Jew.
What do you call 6 guys in wheelchairs trying to play soccer?
Low rank rocket league.
Why did the dis*bled boy cross the road?
Because his uncle could only throw a wheelchair so far.
What do you call a sculpture of a lawyer in a wheelchair?
Statue of limitations.
Do you have another dark wheelchair Joke? Post your wheelchair puns in the comment section below.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.